We started I think

[couple222 15]

Well last night we were at our friends house whom we have been thinking about trying swinging with. Yes we are new and haven't taken the plunge yet.

 

We had a few beers and it was so warm and getting dark out. Believe it or not, my wife just spoke out and suggested we try out their hot tub.

 

My wife got in only in her panties and bra beings she didn't have a bathing suite with her. His wife worn her suite. He and I in cut offs.

 

After several minutes, my wife stands up and we could see right through her undies. He mentioned that he now had a nice view of her.

 

I am not sure what happened but she just took off her undies standing in front of us and threw them out of the tub.

 

I waited to see what was going to happen and soon his wife took hers off and we followed.

 

They watched my wife and I play a little and we watched them but nothing else happened.

 

Is this as far as it will go? Or do you think we should talk to them about going all the way? My wife still says only if it "Just happens"

[TheRedHalf 81]

Is this as far as it will go? Or do you think we should talk to them about going all the way? My wife still says only if it "Just happens"

 

This is a question only you and your wife can answer. Others may tell you they would or wouldn't go for it but that's just their preference. It sounds like your wife may be open to something happening so talk it through with her and if both of you agree, maybe you can make a "Just happens" happen . Don't forget to consider the other couple and their feelings.

[two4youinswva 3,067]

Is this as far as it will go? Or do you think we should talk to them about going all the way? My wife still says only if it "Just happens"

 

I'd stick with what your wife wants right now. Sounds like she wants it to be an organic thing and not forced.

The good news for you is she seems very willing to make things "just happen", based on her actions in the hot tub.

 

Just make sure you understand what can happen when you mix swinging with friends. It could make your relationship with the other couple even stronger. It could also go poorly, and kill the friendship.

 

I am not saying you shouldn't pursue this. I am saying that you should be aware of some of the potential outcomes from this pursuit.

 

Good luck!

[couple222 15]

OK husband is at work right now.

 

We went to our friends house last night to take cover from a storm. I had time alone to talk with her about the other night. My husband and I have talked a lot about it. He is very proud of me getting naked as I guess according to him, very conservative. I really don't know what came over me other than all the begging and story telling he has told me, may have gotten me into the mood.

 

So I am talking with her about what happened and told her how embarrassed I am about what happened. She assured me I had nothing to be embarrassed about and told me her husband and herself thought I had a very nice body. She told me of course her husband had wished it went further but they know how they felt the first couple of times and would wait to see if or when we were ready.

 

She told me about a few of their experiences, good and bad. They only play couple to couple and no clubs because they want to know people first. She says they prefer knowing people to be sure they can be trusted to keep it between them. She also told me that if they have known them a long time and know their medical condition, they don't worry about protection but if they are not sure, they always use it. Well we have know each other years and I feel they are medically safe. My husband says if we do this, he wants to be sure.

 

So, I am considering trying. Still mixed emotions about it but I guess if I don't try it, I will never know if it is for me or not.

 

What you all think?

[Fundamental Law 2,817]

First, glad you are safe from the storm. The tornado story in Michigan has made national news and our thoughts go to all those in MI who need to rebuild and to heal.

 

Your thoughtful reflections are important and suggest that you are following a familiar path. You also have found a couple that is sensitive to your needs and is able to easily share past experiences.

 

Two or three points from your post prompted thought.

 

First, it's not a question of being "right" for you as an individual, it needs to be right for you as a couple. Talk about what this means for both of you when you are dressed, relaxed and have some privacy. It's important and it's not pillow talk--it's about what matters in your relationship. Especially talk about how you--as a couple--move forward, slow down and even pause/stop. Every couple that has been down this road will tell you that communication--real, frank, open communication--makes all the difference.

 

Second, you are discussing swinging with friends. There are strengths and there are real risks. The strengths are that you have a connection to them, and you have implicit shared a priority--knowing people before swinging with them is important to you and your husband and to them. The risk is that you have some chance of finding that you do not have the four way chemistry required to make it fun for all. You need to discuss--first with your husband and then with the couple what you want the relationship to look like if one of the four "calls it quits".

 

One more thought. Perhaps the embarrassment that you felt is worth exploring. It doesn't seem to be about body shame. Nor does it seem to be about your sexuality. Perhaps it is about others "knowing" about your sexuality. That's fairly common. Fact is, adult humans are (nearly) all sexual creatures.

 

Good luck, and remember: communicate, communicate, communicate.