First time 3some/ questions

[mxdtxn774]

Well to all of you who know of me, I must tell you that the Mrs. and I have finally had our first threesome! I thought I might be a little weirded out by watching another man fuck my wife, but I wasn't. But there is one thing that concerns me. After he and I tagged-team her, she still has not had her orgasm. She suggests that the 2 of them go again because she is so close. Well they did, and she sang like I have never been able to make her do before. Now, this threesome is her b-day present, and the man is one that she has had sex with before during a trial open marriage. So I definitely wanted to her to get off, but feel a little (read: a hell of a lot!) jealous that it was him who got her off in that matter. Other than that one sticking point, I must say that I had good time as well watching her play out her fantasy of D/s, and mfm. Any ideas on how to counter this feeling? I don't want to ruin the memory of last night(5/25/04) for feeling jealous.

[JustAskJulie]

Men aren't the only ones who have "performance" issues, it's just that for women it's not as obvious and typically manifests itself in different ways.... 1. We have a hard time getting wet, but more likely it's 2. It takes a lot longer than normal for us to have an orgasm (if we can at all). So this being your first 3some there's a lot of anxiety involved. On her end she's worried about how you feel seeing her with another guy (are you jealous, is she doing anything that might make you upset?, etc). So keep all that in mind.

That's not to discount your feelings as there are just as many thoughts running through your head before and after. Which leads me to one question. Was there an option of YOU going again with her to be the one to get her off? Or were you still recovering? If it had not been him, would she have gotten off at all? Keep in mind that often with us ladies if we are close and we don't get it THEN, waiting and starting is like starting all over again and she may never have.

If it was a situation where you and he were both ready to go again and she chose him over you then I can see where that would lead to some jealousy, and the only answer I can give you there is "new toy syndrome" (even if she's had him before, he's the rarity whereas you she can have anytime, which means even again after he leaves or you guys get home).

[HotCoupleGnS]

I totally agree with Julie on the performance thing. Us females have the same problem as guys, its just thought about as much I think b/c its not so "visual," lol. We haven't had too many experiences, 2 couples & a few mfm. They have been spread out over a 2 year period, so everytime we have an experience it sort of feels like the first time all over again. I have yet to have had an orgasm by another guys at all. Your girl just might have been nervous & it just so happened the orgasm happened with him. But never discount your feelings. They are very natural & justified. I would sit down & talk with her. Chances are talking about it yo her & explaining how you feel & her explaining the situation will help. Like I said we haven't had too many experiences, sometimes we have a little jealous feeling, but we talk about it, then it feels all better!

[BradAndJanet]

Well, try thinking of it this way: you both were responsible for getting her close. It just so happened that he was the one that took her over the edge. It could just have easily been you, right?

I wonder though, if this has anything to do with you knowing of her previous experience with him? Perhaps it's something to ponder anyway...

-B

[tnohcpl]

knowing that you love her and she loves you, and you want to see her happy and satisified then thats what it's about. also she went home with you that's all that counts. my opinion with mfm is that it is for the enjoyment of all especially for the female. she gets the well deserved attention. that's my thoughts whatever it's worth

[2New2it]

I enjoy watching my wife have fantastic orgasms with our playmate. When the two of us make love, she gets off several times, but when we have a threesome, the newness of the other man is obviously more erotic and often he is the one who brings her to climax most often. After all, the MFM threesomes are what makes her fantasies come true and I'm glad she enjoys them.

[WesternSwing]

This is a good question, and one that I’ve somewhat faced, but not to this extent. My wife and I have only been in this lifestyle for three months and we have had two experiences with one couple and been to two private parties, where my wife got jiggy wit’ it at both (the most recent last weekend). So here are my feelings as a newbie.

My wife didn’t orgasm in either of the two experiences with the other couple, or at the first party where four guys went down on her one after the other and then I got her off when I went down on her. She said one of the guys was really good at giving oral, but she just couldn’t get over the edge until I took over, because, she says, it was the familiarity of being me.

At the party last weekend we ended up in a bedroom with another couple but the experience was strictly between the girls, and she came hard with the other woman. It took her quite a while even though my wife said she was really good at oral, it was me there kissing her and telling her I want to see her cum that did it. The common denominator in the equation both times was me in one-fashion-or-another. Which is really cool.

Now, my wife is very vocal and physical when she comes; body jerking, spasms, etc. So watching her cum is exciting in-of-itself. The woman’s husband was thoroughly wowed by it. And for a little while afterward I felt kind of strange because for the first time I watched someone else make her cum really hard, as hard as I do. I think watching a man make her cum like that would be even harder (male ego I guess). It boils down to even though I want her to have a really good time, I don’t want to be playing second chair in my own band, either. So I understand how you are feeling. And how do you talk to her about it without making her feel guilty about having fun?

I think one thing to remember (and I tell myself over and over) is that the sex is not better, it’s just different. And sometimes it is the situation, not the other partner that makes it so good. She probably would have cum just as hard with you. Do you remember sex with another woman that was really good and more memorable than regular old home bedroom sex because maybe it was the situation? Maybe you did it where you could be caught? Or it was really spontaneous? Same thing. You don't pine for it, it's just a memory. It’s not BETTER than sex with your spouse, it was just DIFFERENT and the situation was DIFFERENT.

Now, the only thing that would personally hurt my feel-bads, and maybe is really bothering you, is that she could (should?) have picked you to finish, but she didn’t. Add to it that it was an ex-lover just multiplies the feelings you are having (this is the reason we have a “no ex” rule).

At the party where the four guys went down on my wife, one of their wife’s was going down on me while her husband ate my wife out, and after we finished and stepped back from the group, all the other guys pounced on her. What I loved the most as I watched was when the time came and she was ready to go home, she pushed them all aside, straddled her husband and finished the night with him, in front of everyone. The message we all got was “you were all great, BUT THIS IS MY MAN.” Even if she did cum with them, she finished the night with her husband. It was really cool to see happen, and had to be a big ego booster for hubby.

This might be the real cause of your anxiety. I know it would be mine. You need to get to the heart of why you feel this way, and then present it to her in a non-confrontational manner that says “it’s okay that you had a great time, and watching you have a great time was a real turn-on for me, but next time I would appreciate it if you…” I bet she does, too.

You two are really, really new, and toes will be stepped-on on both sides, so openly communicating about it will be very important. With every experience we are finding new things out that we never thought of.

WS

mxd,

I have heard Mrs naughty say things and make noises that I have never heard while I was fucking her.

The way I look at it is that is why we got into the lifestyle. I want her to enjoy pleasures she has never known. What would the fun be if it wasnt as good or better than me. I think alot has to do with the fact that she is feeling like a slut. That Really turns her on. The feeling that she is being a naughty little slut factored in with the fact the guy she is fucking knows what he is doing is a combination that sends her over the top.

And all I can do is

As far as :

She suggests that the 2 of them go again because she is so close. ..... but feel a little (read: a hell of a lot!) jealous that it was him who got her off in that matter.....

I wouldnt feel jealous about that. I know thats easy to say but the way I look at it he is there to make her cum. He is the stunt cock. Think about it... She is having a MFM and is about ready to cum. Does she want the cock she gets every night or the "strange" cock. Of course it is going to be the "strange" cock. If that wasnt a big turn on for her she wouldnt be there. Mrs naughty will usualy have an orgasm with me at least once in an MFM but doesnt always. When we do a MFM the night belongs to her.

I will admit that sometimes I will think to myself..."Holy shit, I have never made her sound that way".... Then I just smile and think "Your right and thats exactly why your here." Its all about her!

[mxdtxn774]

Thanks to all who replied! Let me start off by saying that I wanted her to finish and get the full effect of being ravished. Yes I too believe that it was the "new toy" syndrome but at the same time she knew he was recovered enough and I was still recovering. Also interestingly enough, his technique was very different from mine, now that I remember it all. But I will chalk it up to a trade-off.

He is into the bdsm lifestyle, something that she has an interest in. He was there to train both of us, me to Dom/ her to sub. So I knew sex was going to be a part of it, and I wanted to share my wife's fantasy of taking on two men. We had already done as much as two guys could do, and she still wanted more. So I left the room so she could concentrate on her orgasm, and let them go at it again.

I will say that I have come a long way from when she first met him(I was devastated, but I had agreed to it) and was completely comfortable with eveything that was going on. It was just that I have only brought her to g spot orgasm during intercourse twice in 7 years and it was during a lengthy session for that matter( clitoral orgasms aplenty! ). After thinking it over, I must conclude that it was all about positions, and having seen the way he did it, I know that I will too. Just had to be awakened from boring, routine-sex and I think this did the trick. And to tnohcpl, you're right . This beautiful creature is at home, with me. And that makes all the difference.

[mxdtxn774]

Hey Naughty's! I just saw your post! You're right, he was the stunt cock, and I have to admit she loved being a little slut for both of us. I agree that the fact of him knowing what he was doing and her being naughty about it was enough to do it. I guess in my head I'm plotting how to use that to make it better for us in our personal playtime. But you once said that it was a great turn on to see your wife in ecstasy during these encounters, and now I see why! So to you a very big Texas thank you!

I guess in my head I'm plotting how to use that to make it better for us in our personal playtime.

Thats easy!!
Talk to her about how much she liked it!!

It will send both of you thru the roof!!!!

[CB_n_Red]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

mxd,
I will admit that sometimes I will think to myself..."Holy shit, I have never made her sound that way".... Then I just smile and think "Your right and thats exactly why your here." Its all about her!

Yup! That's it! Certainly how we view things.

It's also a good way for me to learn a bit more about doing things even better for Red facelick

I must say I haven't (yet) found myself feeling jealous in any MMF encounter, just totally turned on. Red does make a point of ending up with me anyway, which serves to reinforce our bonds - not something we ever conciously decided to do, it just always happens that way. We discussed this thread (after I printed it out for her) and concluded that the only chance of either of us feeling any sort of jealousy in any encounter (MMF or MFMF) would be if one of us was feeling in any way left out of the proceedings. Since we do make a point of being aware of how each other is getting along (and the watching each other is so much part of the fun) I doubt it's likely to happen.

As usual the rest of you guys have covered all the bases pretty well, so I'll leave it at that.

(I do seem to be picking up a lot of Americanisms reading the board!)

CB

[blue_eyez]

One other thing to consider regarding MFM is what happens afterwards. When I've been invited into a threesome as "stunk cock" (I like that term!), I invariable talk with the couple after the big event. That's when I learn that, while the threesome was an erotic blast, the play they have afterwards between just the two of them is even more intense! Then I'm the one who's jealous!

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by blue_eyez

When I've been invited into a threesome as "stunk cock"

"Stunk cock"? That's an odd kink...



Spoomonkey

PS - The payoff in the lifestyle is DEFINITELY the play afterwards... We had a single friend over and had a great time (We used him as a "stunt cock" - because he was fairly hygenic...). But as - good as the encounter was - me and the missus still spent another hour and a half "debriefing"...

[mxdtxn774]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

But as - good as the encounter was - me and the missus still spent another hour and a half "debriefing"...

I envy you! We ALL had to get up early the next day, go to work, etc. No debriefing yet, but we keep the comm lines open. I am quickly building to the point of just coming home and taking her right then .