Bad first experience

[Alura]

Dito , Mrs. O. Let's hope all four learned something from the experience and can use the information to make better play experiences in the future.

Mr. Alura

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by ampussy
The only reason we even responded to this post is that this cpl is talking about us!

And we would have never known, had you not enlightened us... hmmm somehow that discretion thingie keeps popping up in my mind.

[ampussy]

You all can cast stones if you want at that awful cpl that invited them to a private house party we have been to many parties and they all have began socially like we said we were justas surprised that the party began sexually so quickly but we forwarned them we had never been to this cpls house parties so we could not say it would be the same. We only hope that some of the cpls who do know us will post something if they are on this board and for those of you who think we were so bad for bringing them to this party let us tell you one thing the only reason we even approached them while at the party was to try to shield them from some of the others that were groping and grabbing we figured if they hung close with us that the others would leave them alone. See we left at the begging to mingle we also told people they were a newbie cpl and when we said that one gal touched our guest and said "oh honey we have to break yoiu in right or something to that effect" it was then that the wife and I decided to hang close to them as we felt we got them into this situation we were not about to abandon them. Look folks there were plenty of opportunities for us to play with others that night do you really think we would have persuded them if they had told us they did not nothing to do wioth us up front?
We are done now and will stay on here till this post dies out but we won't be psoting anymore we just know one thing we were there ya'll were not and its not us who is hiding our identity!
Come on newguy55 lets see you tell these people who you really are what is your swapper handle some of our true friends may see this postyand they will tell you we are not what you described. WE would have done absolutey NOTHING had you told us the TRUTH up front. Then why haven't you told this forum that we did in fact try to contact you except you dumped your swappernet profile. Why didn't we e-mail us simply one reason and that was you left us with the impression that you wanted nothing to do with us so we was attempting to honor your wishes
it was only when we were approached a recent social telling us that you had posted this and blew it way out of proportion that we decided to speak up. Did you post and tellthese people that we did contact you when you appeared back on swappernet and told you about a much milder party and that we would make sure we stayed away as you wished?

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by ampussy
You all can cast stones if you want at that awful cpl that invited them to a private house party we have been to many parties and they all have began socially like we said we were justas surprised that the party began sexually so quickly but we forwarned them we had never been to this cpls house parties so we could not say it would be the same.

Sooooo, ampussy, it was then OKAY for you to follow suit with the crowd and take a couple who were new to the lifestyle beyond their comfort level... Because everyone else was 'doing it' with others?

If your intentions were honest, then why did you not say "Hey...this is a lot more than we thought it would be for your first time out. We didn't realize it would be like this. Wanna go somewhere else?" That would have been the THOUGHTFUL/HELPFUL thing to do with a Newbie couple. If indeed you are the type to be HELPFUL to the Newbie couples.

Instead, you chose to put them in situations that were beyond their comfort level. That is not helpful at all. Shame on you.

In the future, if you have a beef with a particular member of this board, please use the PM and E-mail functions. Most everyone has one, the other or both.

To newguy55:

Send TNT a PM. They can guide you to some socials in your area that would be more along the lines of your comfort level and I can just about guarantee you, you will not experience this sort of behavoir. We aren't all like this.

[ampussy]

WE didn'
t offer to go anywhere else but we did say are you O.K. with this we really didn't expect the sex to start so soon and his response was no we are o.k. with this I did expect this don't let this NEWGUY55 kid you we did ask them if there was a problem and he indicated it was O.K. Notice he is not answerring any of our questions notice he has not been back to refute what we said. You know why? we willtell you why because he knows he blew what happened out of proportion and he is probally afraid the people who were at that party may respond with the truth! I again challenge him to explain whatwas meant that I tried to have sex with his wife putting my arm around her or placing my hand on her knee does not constitute trying to have sex! What he did to grab my wifes tits was trying to have sex yes she did sit on his lap but we werte trying to help them be a bit more at ease and I did not see him complaining.

[Handyman69]

Oh my.....is all I could think of as I read this thread. Alura, Cuz (Mrs O), and the rest of the board members who have responded,
I give you a .

I have been troubled as I read this...being we have only in the lifestyle a few years. There are many new things that we have yet to experience ( a house party for one) but I can say that the Newbie couple might have been trying to psych themselves into jumping into the lifestyle...but we all know...what is good for one is not necessary good for another.

What he did to grab my wifes tits was trying to have sex yes she did sit on his lap but we werte trying to help them be a bit more at ease and I did not see him complaining.

let me see....oh ya..it says he wasn't complaining...just what was the female part saying? Ampussy....just because one is willing to jump doesn't mean the other half is.. I am sad that the newbie couple did not talk this thru enough but that does not mean that they are an open invitation. Most people in the lifestyle know this and are respectful. It was too much...too fast....too soon...simple.

The board here is open and fair....state your point as you have done but don't expect agreement...you pushed a couple that was not ready to be pushed. They aren't all innocent either, but they are new...so more blame is put on you. Experienced and you should have sensed something...

to newguy55...follow Cuz's advice...contact TNT..the right couple can make all the difference in the world. Sure was better the 2nd time around for us....

[OhioCouple]

I can't let this issue die, simply because I do not want every new person that comes on this board to think they must be tolerant and grateful of those that PUSH them beyond their obvious readiness. It is a shame that you didn't take your perceptiveness of them being new and use it for purposes other than self-gratification. Or maybe that is just your normal tactics?

Originally posted by ampussy
Notice he is not answerring any of our questions notice he has not been back to refute what we said.

Did you ever stop to think that they have more class than you? They never mentioned names....you the experienced swingers did. Did I mention if discretion rings a bell? They never slung mud at anyone, you did. Or did you not NOTICE that?

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Handyman69
....just because one is willing to jump doesn't mean the other half is.. I am sad that the newbie couple did not talk this thru enough but that does not mean that they are an open invitation. Most people in the lifestyle know this and are respectful. It was too much...too fast....too soon...simple.

This makes the quote of the year.

[yawanna]

In the original post... no mention or judgments were made on the inviting couple... they owned what happened, sorted it out later, and did the best they could..under the circumstances.

Trust me.. we've had to run one time from a bad situation...and though I haven't posted on that one...if I felt I needed input I would have posted here....hopefully in as non judgemental and objective way as the post that started this thread.

This couple were new to the whole scene of a house party.... their comfort level is pre eminient..priority. What you describe, ampussy, is akin to violating personal boundaries...and THAT is never acceptable. You didnt ask, check or get consent or even offer up what might be possible before asking consent.

I have a story to share about us escorting a newbie couple to a house party... I have to write it up first.

BBL

[ampussy]

We met this cpl on social level she asked how do you approach so Ishowed her and put my arm around her and she said she liked that I also expalined that if I got a good response then I knew that the person liked it. Wespent 3 hrs. thatevening with this cpl left with hugs and they said theywanted to get together with us a second time and we allagrredd to go to this house party see they led us to belive they wanted to be with us they liked us and made references to playing finding a more private place. Now go back and read his first post he said that at the first social meeting they determined she wanted no part of me than excuse me but why the hell didn't they tell us that then and not waited till they used us to just get a invite to a private party.

Newbie or not that was wrong to lead us on send us numerous messages tell us in the message that our hugs were sincere. What all you people are MISSING is we wouldhave never brought them to this party if they told us they did not want to go with us we would have put them in contact with the host and that would have been that. Why do you think we attempted to stay close to them it was not as NEWGUY55 states I had no intention of having sex with her my wife and I simply wanted to see that they had a good time see they failed to mention there was no sex in the aera we were at that was going on in the bedroom and putting a hand on a knee and saying are you O.K. is no where close to having sex! The only ref to sex at any point was the first night we met when we met them at the dance place and here is what they said theywere glad to finally meeta cpl who could talk about sex because the others they met kinda clammed up when they talked sex with them and thats when Isaid "we will be glad to help you pop your swing cherry" and then said just joking. Have you noticed NEWGUY 55 isn't saying much and we know why its because he posted some very untrue satements.

[LadyCleo]

Originally posted by OhioCouple
If your intentions were honest, then why did you not say "Hey...this is a lot more than we thought it would be for your first time out. We didn't realize it would be like this. Wanna go somewhere else?" That would have been the THOUGHTFUL/HELPFUL thing to do with a Newbie couple. If indeed you are the type to be HELPFUL to the Newbie couples.

While I do agree with most of the posts here regarding the bad behavior of Ampussy, there is blame to be shared.

Once Newbie couple realized they were over their heads, they should have opened their mouths and said something!
They are adults. If they were too uncomfortable to stay, by all means, use the door. It was not Ampussy's responsibility to escort them somewhere else. Yes, it would have benn a WONDERFUL thing had they done so, but definately not a requirement and I wouldn't consider them a heel for not doing so.

I also have to agree with Ampussy's statement that the wife of the newbie couple probably was not into him. BUT she needs to open her mouth and say so. I know how difficult it can be to say no or tell someone that you are not attracted to them because you feel a sense of obligation to a degree or do not want to hurt their feelings, but just be open and honest about how you feel. It doesn't do anyone any good to be strung along.

But, that's just MY opinion...

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by LadyCleo
While I do agree with most of the posts here regarding the bad behavior of Ampussy, there is blame to be shared.

Once Newbie couple realized they were over their heads, they should have opened their mouths and said something!
They are adults. If they were too uncomfortable to stay, by all means, use the door. It was not Ampussy's responsibility to escort them somewhere else. Yes, it would have benn a WONDERFUL thing had they done so, but definately not a requirement and I wouldn't consider them a heel for not doing so.

newguy55 openly admitted that they made mistakes by getting in over their heads and not knowning what to do about it...those mistakes are not uncommon. Goodness knows we made our share of mistakes. They also did leave on their own accord and I do not hold ampussy responsible for not suggesting another venure... I do however consider them heels for coming on this board and making statements such as:

Everyone laughed when they saw you running out the door.

and for pointing fingers.

I would garner to say that we have personally met somewhere in the neighborhood of mid to upper hundreds of couples and singles. Some at socials, others at meet ups, some one on one for dinner or cocktails, hell we even traveled to Tulsa to meet with a small handful from that area. Never at anytime, when meeting these couples for the first time, did we ever feel that we were being pushed further than anything we were ready for. Some of these couples we have met more than once, some we have an active social life with and of some of those, sex may or may not become a part of the equation. Just because a someone mentions that they would like to graduate to a sexual encounter...does not necessarily mean with 'you'.

Certainly there were communication problems on both sides, however the ampussy's claim to be veteran swingers, there to help the newbies along. They should have known better than to 'push' them along. That is what I find so distasteful.

[artboy]

Wow..We live in the vicinity of these folks, and WE TOO are way newbies, having just had our first encounter this month. The cpl we played with was very considerate of us and our pace. We only soft swapped that evening, and I was too scared to "get it up"...but if faced with the situation as these posters have encountered, I would never be able to get it up again. (ha.. Anyway, I really appreciate some of the people we HAVE met, those folks actually seem to care and take the time to get everyone comfortable, Im relativly sure..(i hope anyway) that this is a very isolated incident...we Stacie and I would very much like to somtime attend a House Party...but with a cpl who is very much in tune with us and our pace and our feelings.

It's sad this has to brought to a board such as this. This place has helped us immensley, simply from reading..Thanks to all!

Lee

[ampussy]

Excuse me for telling you all this it was them that told us at the first social they wanted to get laid and if you read the post from them you can see this is clearly a GUY dragging his wife to something she wants no part of! Why hasn't anyone picked up on the fact this cpl USED us not the other way around! Read his original post they determined the first night thatwe meta a dance club they did not want to play around with us YET they jumped at the opportunmity when we said we couldn't meet the following week as we were going to a private house party! See this cpl was LEADING us on they USED us to gain entrance to that party!

This GUY of the CPL is the ones who told us when we voiced concerned after they felt intimidated that they were O.K. and wanted to stay they are as older if not older than us we don't babysit especially after we realized we had been USED. You people are missing the point they are the ones who screwed up theyare the ones who PRETENDED to like us just to gain entrance to this PRIVATE party they wnated to know when we could meet again and they expressed interest to attend this party even after we told them it was wild the other thing this cpl knew fully up front that we are seasoned swingers and our profile on swapper where they met us clearly states if you are looking for a TAME cpl its not us. It was thier responsibility for them to tell us they wanted nothing to do with us we can't read minds!

This GUY is dragging his wife don't let him kid you have you noticed he has not responded to even one of these post since we told the TRUE story? Sorry but we are in this lifestyle for fun not to babysit some mid aged WIFE DRAGGER!

[ampussy]

All I did was put a hand on her knee! We had no absolutely no intentions of sex we simply was trying to be by thier sides to shield them from the ones who were being a bit more aggressive. remeber they told us they wanted to stay and the wife and I did leave them for a bit to socialize with others and no one that we seen with the exception oo the female host did anything and alol she did was pat her on the butt lightly and smiled and said we have to break you in right or something like that. The newbie did nothing but smiled and then they went over and started munching on food. The time she got upset was when her hubby grabbed my wifes tits!