Bad first experience

[newguy55]

Thanks Julie for the insight. We sure stepped back from the picture a few paces and took a long look!
Technically we have abridged our swinging viewpoint. However, we haven't given up on the pursuit of it entirely. We will just make damn sure that NO means NO and a sock in the mouth will enforce it. (need emoticon with stocking in mouth here)!! No violence, we are pacifists by nature.<EG> !!!
We have given some thought to upcoming local events and we hope to meet some people and just say hi or what may transpire. We are nice people at least we think so! LOL! We are just a tad on the nervous side and tend to be more cautious/apprehensive when it comes to getting down and dirty. We tend to be talkative and jocular to help our anxiety. Oh well!

Thanks again and Happy Holidays to everyone!!
Newguy/Newgal

[ampussy]

Could not help but offer you a bit of advice and say are you sure you didn't cause some of this to happen? recently we had a situation like yours happen to us. We met a cpl t a local dance club. After a fun night we agreed to meet a second time now we detected from the very first meeting this "NEWBIE cpl" was not ready but we like to help "newbies". So whatwe find interesting is I used the very same line on this gal in jest at our first social meeting "I would be glad to pop your swing cherry"

See we let them know we are NOT new and told them many of our swing stories form our stay in europe where we got our start in the lifestyle in europe the lifestyle is much more open no big deal they look at you funny if you don't swing lol.

After much discussion the male half of this "newbie cpl" says "if you think you blew us away with your stories you didn't you made us that much more interested". I got up from my chair and put my arm around this gal and told her that was how I approach a lady if Iget positive vibe back I know its ok she actually likes me.
and she said gee that felt good you have warm hands that to me was a positive vibe obviously Iread that wrong as you will read in part2


They were in constant contact with us as we told them we could meet again or asked if they would like to meet again we knew of a PRIVATE house party we could get them a invite to we did tell them parties we had been to in the U.S. in FLA started out socially first and sex didn't come till a bit later but warned them each party stands on its own and that we knew the guy who was the host of the house party but we had never been to one of his parties.

After they agreed we contacted the host and got them a invite. We had 3 cpls but the host said he had to limit the number of cpls it was getting big. so we chose to give them the invite the other cpls were not new and would have played with us. This is where part 1 of this message will end as Microsoft ate my original post! So I'm posting this so I don';t have to retype it again! Stay tuned for part 2

[ampussy]

The date was set and we met this cpl and drove to the house party together at the first social meeting at the dance club they said they didn't drink much yet for courage ,(we can only guess)she told us she was hitting some hard stuff on the way. Once we arrived at the party my wife and I was a bit surprized to see that the action had already started party was to begin at 8 but at this party 8 meant play time lol so when we walked in we and the "NEWBIE" cpl seen this lady giving a guy head in the hot tub!

The newbie guy pulled us aside and said it made them feel very intimidated. My wife and I discussed how we would proceed with the evening as we did want them to enjoy themselves so we decided to let them mingle a bit we could see the newbie wife was very nervous she told me "the other gals looked better than her" I told her she looked just as good not to worry I was doing all I could to help her relax but sometimes I guess I go too far my wife says I get too helpful. So not meaning any harm I told the newbie wife the best way to ease into the situation was to go in the hot tub.

She was wearing a shirt with a knot so I playfully attempted to untie it she said "no I'm not ready" so I backed off. I was not about to violate the no means no rule. One thing about no means no you have to say no first (NEWBIES remember that)
people are not mind readers!

Seeing as they did not want to do the hot tub my wife and I decided to to the hot tub. after we got out we went to see how theywere doing they were nervously sitting on the couch we only wanted to help them and seeing as we were the only ones they knew we figured time to see if they were the slight bit interested so my wife came out wrapped ina towel and me seeing alot of other people naked decided no towel and we sat next to the newbie cpl on the couch.


Now we thought we were being very gental trying to introduce them to some touchy feely but I did not do anything accept put my hand on her leg my wife got on his lap (funny same thing newguy55 that happened to you according to your original post).

It was very apparent he liked this and he even played with my wifes tits then made some comment to his wife about not being right him playing with her and her not playing with me as they knew our rules were all play or no play as this was discussed at the first social meeting. The newbie hubby said his wife wanted to see him get a blow job so I told my wife "blow him" Iguess this was toomuch for the newbie wife and she jumped off the couch but only after she let us know in her words" I didn't mean nessecarily your wife" it was at this point we began to feel very very used. For this cpl to lead us to believe that we were going to this party to be with them and them be with us well all we can say is we felt very very used at that point. NEWGUY55 in your orig post you said the wife got on your lap well if you knew your wife wanted nothing to do with him why did you grab his wifes tits do you think he was going to sit there while you fondled his wife and he wouldn't even attempt to make a subtle move towards your wife?


They were nice enough to take thier argument to a back bedroom but there isnothing worse than acpl arguing ata lifestyle party now mind you the host knew we were the ones who invited them so it really made our integrity look bad as normally you would not invite a newbie cpl to a event such as this but we thought this cpls maturity could make uo for thier lack of experince. here is where I will end part 2 and next post will be part3

[ampussy]

Eventually we approached to see why they had went to the bedroom was there anything wrong and she proceeded to tell me Iwas the problem and she wanted nothing to do with me! I said at that point not a problem if she didn't want me O.K. allwe ask is you do not make a scene and with that they left without saying goodbye they walked out the door and drove back to PC we guess yes NEWGUY55 our cpl was from the PC in florida hmmmmsame place as your from

Now did we get upset because they left without a goodbye your damn right we got upset not that theydidn't say bye to us hellwe didn't expect them to as they didn't like us oh Iguess they liked my wife hell everyone seems to but see we come as a package and if they didn't like what they seen theyshould have said that from the first intial social meeting. NEWGUY55 we could do a IP search and may find out you are the same cpl but we wouldn't do that see with Sharon and I as we told this cpl once you become a friend with us its lifelong if a cpl chooses to disappear from our life its them not us who willdisappear and unlike the cpl your talking about we did attempt to contact our night from hell cpl as amatter of fact we sent them info on a milder lifestyle social and told them we would be there but assured them we wouldkeep our distance funny thing they never went and we have news for that cpl we go to alot of events so if they are in the fla/Al/Ga area they will see us at a party sometime as we go to lots of parties and we are not going to stop going just so they can go!

See in our eyes after a cpl acted that immature it was them that shouldhave contacted us and simply said hey thanks for the invite to the house party but you are not our type or at least thanked the host of the party. By the way this host had another party and we told him to invite this cpl and to mention thatwe were not going to be there so they didn't feel pressured by us. The host decided not too as he seen as we did this cpl was along way from READY for this lifestyle at least at the houseparty level.

Does this mean we won't invite newbies again no not really the following week we invited another cpl she was a veteran swinger he was new and they handled it just fine

Here is our advice NEWGUY55 do like us be up front with what you want if you meeta cpl and your wife says "no way" to the guy honor her wishes BEFORE you get to a play type environment had this cpl said the truth they would have never been invited to the party and wouldn't have had to endure my "pushy" attitude.

Must be alot of cpls who like our attitudes though as we have a hard time finding room on our play schedule for veteran swingers let alone "NEWBIES" by the way you won't find us hiding some cpls post on several sites and use a diff name on all see just like we told this cpl we don't hide the fact we like to play and we are known as "Ampussy" on every site we are on.

NEWGUY55 you need to consider the view from the other side as the way your post reads this cpl who tried to help you attempted to introduce you to the lifestyle went out of thier way to get you a invite I'm sure just as we did with the cpl we refered to as the host had it right from the beginning when we said we were bringing newbies he tried to discourage us we should have heeded his warning. By the way the night ended up excellent I was "pushy" with this gal in the hot tub and my wife was pushy with the host and a austrailan guy and the night ended in a cumful blissflamethrow

Where were the newbies that drove 2hrs only to stay for 30 min hell for all we know they were out in the car arguing

By the way this is the last of the "view from the other side " post

NEWGUY 55 suggest you go back and reevaluate that situation

and give this cpl the respect that they deserve for attempting to introduce you to the lifestyle. I would say your description is blown way out of portion and if you are the same cpl hiding under another handle we KNOW its blown way out of proportion

We find it awfully strange that you have described your situation to fit our situation almost to the "T" so NEWGUY55 allwe can say is have a good life and hope you find what you are looking for .

Don't be so quick to chastise cpls who are trying to introduce you to the lifestyle all you have to say is "NO" if the person doesn't stop the offensive behavior find the host or organizer of the party and it willend very quickly. See we find your story hard to believe as someone would have stepped in if it was as bad as you made it out to be Don't worry be happy

[ampussy]

You said that you met with this cpl socially first right? Did you tell them at this time as lead us all to believe that you wanted nothing to do with them? If thatwas the case don't you think that you should have said hey we enjoyed tonight but your not our type? Ithink Ican read between the lines your wife didn't want him but there was no way you were going to let his hot wife get away right? be honest do you think had you been honest with this cpl up front that they would have got you a invite to that house party? To me if you said hey we don't like you they more than likely would have said nothing ut goodnite and hope you find what you are looking for. I read your post with utter fascination he tried to have sex with your wife and she said no please describe just what he did ? I think you have blown this situation way out of proportion as people can read between the lines very easily. You say you wanted no part of them yet you agreed to attend a private house party with them? You grabbed his wifes tits and you wanted no part of them. If I was your wife Iwould have knocked you on side of your head as you say she told you and you told them BEFORE she wanted nothing to do with him. Do you really think we are going to sit here and believe a veteran swinger cpl sat there and said lets invite them to a PRIVATE house party after they just told us they want nothing to do with us. Come on people let this guy know that its a two way street if he grabs a guys wifes tits he has just opened up for a little touchy feely especially if he came to the party with that cpl !

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by ampussy
After a fun night we agreed to meet a second time now we detected from the very first meeting this "NEWBIE cpl" was not ready but we like to help "newbies".

God grant me the serenity...

After reading all of your posts, I have much to say, but cannot say it effectively at this moment.

Trust me, I'll be back to comment on all of it.

head bang

[Alura]

I've known cowboys who broke green horses by climbing into the saddle and riding until the horse was exhausted or the cowboy was in the dirt. There was one guy who, when thrown, would kick the horse in the belly several times before getting back on. He called the horses he trained "green broke" because you could never be sure what they might do.

I liked to make friends with a colt first, then I'd put the bridle on and train him to neck rein with me on the ground. After that, I'd let him carry a saddle blanket for several days before putting the saddle on. I'd let him carry the saddle around until he was comfortable. Then, every morning for a week or so, I'd feed him an apple and lean on the saddle for awhile while petting him and speaking softly to him. After he was thoroughly comfortable with that, I'd climb aboard while talking softly to him. Colts almost never bucked. I don't think they ever learned how.

I'd never take a colt to the next level until I was absolutely sure he was ready.

Mr. Alura

[ampussy]

O.K enough said. Newguy55,
This is the female half, I know the situation and I think it is CHILDISH of you to change your story to suite yourself then POST all the WRONG info on a site. SHAME ON YOU! WE know who you are. IP addresses DON"t lie. Why change a story? You are DRAGGING your wife. STOP it! That couple you talked about have lots of friends and they don't push. You are a peice of work let me tell you. Anyone else please know there are always TWO sides to the story. Maybe there are reasons that the couple didn't call you. When you run out of a party that is saying a statement.
Everyone laughed when they saw you running out the door.

[OhioCouple]

Serenity shot.

As the posts by ampussy are so long and involved, I'll only quote bits and pieces. Mr. O and I have talked about this extensively.

We met a cpl t a local dance club. After a fun night we agreed to meet a second time now we detected from the very first meeting this "NEWBIE cpl" was not ready but we like to help "newbies". So whatwe find interesting is I used the very same line on this gal in jest at our first social meeting "I would be glad to pop your swing cherry"

Knowing what I know now after more than two years of being in the swinging circles, I would have been scared to death that all swingers were as you both represent yourself in your own postings. Mr. O and I are both in agreement that we would have halted all activity immediately and never persued it again had the first couple that we met with, knowingly pushed us beyond limits that they 'knew' we were not ready for. That isn't helping...to us it appears self-serving.

...The newbie guy pulled us aside and said it made them feel very intimidated....

...So not meaning any harm I told the newbie wife the best way to ease into the situation was to go in the hot tub...

...She was wearing a shirt with a knot so I playfully attempted to untie it she said "no I'm not ready" so I backed off...

...after we got out we went to see how theywere doing they were nervously sitting on the couch we only wanted to help them and seeing as we were the only ones they knew we figured time to see if they were the slight bit interested so my wife came out wrapped ina towel and me seeing alot of other people naked decided no towel and we sat next to the newbie cpl on the couch...

To address these issuses first. Ampussy, you already know they are a new couple...probably nervous, not knowing what to expect, etc. It sounds to us that you were moving at your speed and not their's. Attempting (playfully or not) to undo the ladies 'knot', sitting next to them naked on the sofa... well it seems rather 'hawkish' to us. Had I, Mrs. O, been in that situation, I'd have been terrified.

...By the way the night ended up excellent I was "pushy" with this gal in the hot tub and my wife was pushy with the host and a austrailan guy and the night ended in a cumful...

Key words here are 'PUSHY' which is exactly how we see that you attempted an introduction to the lifestyle to this newbie couple. Your own words, verbatim.

NEWGUY 55 suggest you go back and reevaluate that situation ...

...and give this cpl the respect that they deserve for attempting to introduce you to the lifestyle...

This just makes us laugh. We can't say what we would like to on this board. It is better left unsaid, but we are sure it is understood.

This is the female half, I know the situation and I think it is CHILDISH of you to change your story to suite yourself then POST all the WRONG info on a site. SHAME ON YOU! WE know who you are.

Well if this isn't the cat's pajamas. All of your postings on this board have been limited to this thread with a pointing of fingers. And you are rational *seasoned* swingers looking for a pat on the back because you are willing to 'help' ...no sorry... 'PUSH' the 'newbies' or whom ever you desire along? That is a and pretty revolting in our book. Thank you, but no thank you. By the way...Does the word 'discretion' ring any bells?

Newguy55 came on this board and posted a generalized question about how they felt on their first experience, they have also been members of this board and have contributed in other areas since the first of December. Never was a finger pointed in this thread by Newguy55. In our eyes you only joined this site (most VERY recently I might add) to retaliate for something that you got turned down for.

But as they say in the world of swinging... not everyone is another's cup of tea. Obviously you were not theirs and you certainly wouldn't be ours, newbie's or not.

OhioCouple

[Alura]

Originally posted by Chicup
I still think the best starting is newbies with newbies.

Everyone is a bit nervous, plenty of time to back out, and no pressure to go beyond limits (or at least not as much).

Joining what seemed to be a group orgy might be a bit of a leap.

Dito , Chicup! I'm just a hick Okie, but it seems to me the experience of these two couples is just too wide. The experienced couple should never have taken a pair they "knew were not ready" to a house party. No matter how they explained the situation, and frankly, never having been there, there was no way they could, the Newby's were not going to understand.

Once there, Mr. Newby, knowing how his wife felt, should never have started play with Mrs. Experienced. I can understand how Mr. Experience would think that might open the door with Mrs. Newby.

A spa is a wonderful way to "break the ice" with an experienced couple but could scare hell out of a couple who'd never played. It should never have been suggested.

Hopefully, both couples can be understanding of "where the other was coming from," put this thing behind them and learn from it. I don't think Mr. & Mrs. Newby should go to a house party until they have some experience and feel they are ready for it.

Hell, Mrs. Alura and I first played twenty years ago and I would question if we are "ready" or will ever want to be.

Mr. Alura

[yawanna]

I, too, read ampussy with shock and a bit of reluctant remembrance of couples past.

Thank you Mrs. O... I was waiting on ya

The original post and the ampussy posts differ in one aspect, imho: the original post was generalized, and the responses, such as this

Everyone laughed when they saw you running out the door

have served to show us at least, that our intial impression of ampussy was correct.

Predators.

Their behaviour, by both accounts, was pushy and didn't respect No means No. One No is enough, n'est pas?

A 'No" followed by a getting naked, followed by a let's get into the hottub, followed by let's (fill in the blank) is just plain predatory.

We have escorted many a newbie couple to clubs AND house parties, and the furthest thing from our minds would be getting into their pants by trying to undress them or inviting them into a hottub or to sit naked in their obviously nervous laps.

Here's how it works with the rest of the swingers: the new couple are treated with kid gloves and the greatest care is taken for their sense of well being and comfort.

As many say here.. COMMUNICATION. Talk about it. Respect their relationship. Be there for them.

ampussy...IMHO.. you let these people down BIG time. No wonder they left. And too bad you ruined the experience for a new couple.

JUST my opinion

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Alura
I don't think Mr. & Mrs. Newby should go to a house party until they have some experience and feel they are ready for it.

Speaking only from the experience that we have had at a house party, I would say that each one must vary. At the house party we attended I never saw a naked person unless behind closed doors. However I did not stray to the open area on the lower level, but all main levels were clothed in some way shape or form. We also never encountered any 'aggressiveness' which is what appeared to have happened at this particular house party that newguy55 attended, verified by ampussy. I would say the best thing to do is to contact the hosts themselves and ask what the general rule of thumb is. At least then one would have a better idea of what to expect.

[ampussy]

The only reason we even responded to this post is that this cpl is talking about us! Another cpl approached us and told us you cannot believe what "that cpl" posted on swingers board. Here was the exact owrds from the lady of the cpl that was so offended on the way we stopped at a place so the ladies could go to the bathroom and the Newbie wife said to us "if you two was backing out from going to the party tonight we were going anyway we have been waiting for three yrs. for this!" O.K. wait a min I thought in NEWGUYS first post they said that after our first social meeting that she wanted nothing to do with me ? Then tell us why they kept asking are we still going to the party. Now yes I said we thought they were not ready but old blue balls and the wife he was dragging convinced us that they were in fact very mature and very ready and we did tell them that as long as they went with a open mind that we said they wouldhave a good time of course had we known they wanted no part of us we would have never suggested it in the first place they were the ones that said we want to go this cpl is middle aged I would think that they were mature enough to at least tell us they wanted nothing to do with us as we were not thier type and we are not hiding like this cpl is they met us on swappernet where we use the same handle the cpl that told us about this post told us this NEWGUY uses 55 diff handles on diff sites we know when we have been used and now they want to continue to try to get the sympothy from people so they can lure thier next victims to thier wild wicked web of internet fantacy.

[Alura]

Well, I think y'all (Mrs. O and Wrnakedru) are more qualified than I to talk house parties or on-premises clubs, since we've never been to one. We'd have no idea what to expect. I imagine we'd be nervous, too.

I will say one thing: If it's true that "Everyone laughed when you ran for the door," this particular house party must cater to "hard-core" swingers. Again, not the place to take nervous newbys, since the guests don't seem very compassionate.

BTW, I think it would be well to heed TNT's advice. They're always right on targets regarding more adventurous swingers.

And Newguy and Newgal, if y'all want to meet some top-notch folks who happen to be playcouples, come to April in Tulsa. You probably won't get laid, but you won't be nervous either and everybody will care about your feelings, understand your limits and want to help y'all reach your goals.

Or plan and host a Meet Up! in your area. We'll help. Meet Ups! are fun!

Mr. Alura

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by yawanna
ampussy...IMHO.. you let these people down BIG time. No wonder they left. And too bad you ruined the experience for a new couple.

JUST my opinion

And this definitely sums up our opinion. Hands down.