First Experience - Good or Bad?

[JustAskJulie]

How was your first experience was it good or was it bad?

If it was bad, what caused it? If it was good, what did you do in advance to help make it that way?

[JustAskJulie]

The first couple we met for swinging, we met online and made arrangements to meet them halfway (about 40 minutes or so from each of us) for dinner and then we were going to split a hotel room (first bad choice). Dinner seemed ok, but since we had already made hotel arrangements we felt a little pressured to move things along even tho we probably shouldn't have (there really wasn't that connection).

We attempted to play and both of the guys ended up having some problems getting/keeping it up. We hadn't really discussed our prefs/boundaries ahead of time and that caused some friction as well.

The next morning we basically went our separate ways... but the story does have a happy ending. A few years later we ran into this same couple via another common interest. We discovered that we'd all grown a lot and we got to be really good friends and even managed to play a few times together.

[Roxysbayou]

Our first experience we met an experienced couple through a pay site and we all decided to meet for drinks and then attend a group social together that was being held in a downtown hotel. The couple was fun, but the social was for the birds. The people were rude and left us feeling very unwelcome. We ended renting a room in the same hotel and playing quarters. First for drinks and eventually for articles of clothing. We were all having a great time and ended up on one bed with our own partners, with a little cross play going on as well. It was a great time, but then hubby starting having trouble keeping an erection. I think the combination of the alcohol (which will do that to him in a regular encounter) and the first time jitters. The other couple was really great about it, but hubby was pretty humiliated and we soon left. We still chat with them from time to time, but they have withdrawn from the lifestyle for a little while and they live a few hours away so we haven't been able to try again with them. We try to be very careful about how we play now...little alcohol,and I try to make sure hubby is completely comfortable before we begin anything.

[BodyScape02]

Our 1st try was a MMF... he was polite, interesting and attractive...He just couldn't get an erection and while we tried to make him cofortable and reassure him it happened on more often that he thought he still was really upset. She became upset AFTER her left and thought it was something to do with her...

It was just too much too fast...

Poor guy, like shooting pool with a piece of rope!

[Fire_and_Air]

Our first experience was not a good one. We met at a club and decided to meet for dinner the following weekend. All four of us were new to swinging, and there were no rules or boundaries set up at all! We jumped right into playing and things moved way too fast for my comfort level, but I didn't speak up for fear of hurting anyone's feelings. The other gal tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend without a condom, and complained to him about being frustrated when he wanted to slow down. I was not attracted enough to the other guy to want to go that far, so after a while we felt like the 2 of us were just sitting around watching the other 2. I had hoped all 4 of us could play together, but it turned out that the other couple had been fighting, so they were trying to avoid each other. We managed to end the night gracefully, somehow, but learned a few lessons there.

[OhioCouple]

Our first was actually very good in the sense that they were sensitive to the fact that we were new. We had chatted for a while via online and phone, but never told them until the day we actually met that we were new. (Bad mistake there folks...always let them know.) We spent most of the day visiting art museums and the Air Force museum, getting to know each other. We planned to meet for dinner and at dinner was when they asked how long we had been in the lifestyle. (We must have given the appearance of having been in it for a while.) We let them know that they would be our first and their moods sort of shifted. From there on out they were real cautious in their approach to us.

After much talking through dinner, they suggested that we go to a club that they like to frequent when they are in town and we agreed. The night ended with us going back to their motel and playing around some, but actual intercorse only occured between my hubby and the other woman. My shyness and I'm sure my fear made the hubby of the other couple very leery.

End result, we have met with this couple about 1/2 dozen times, either going to their neck of the woods or them coming to ours and we have a great swinging relationship with them now.

[thump29]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie
How was your first experience was it good or was it bad?

If it was bad, what caused it? If it was good, what did you do in advance to help make it that way?

We had known this couple for a long time before we actually started swinging, and to me that made it all the better we already were comfortable with each other and nobody was nervous.

[wiscpl]

I would have to say our first experience was a learning one and a stepping stone into the lifestyle. We met this couple, whom which we had had dinner and many conversations with, at their hotel. After having gone out to eat and stoppiog to pick up some refresments we went back to their hotel to start with some icebreakers. The woman ended up together as well as well as myself with the other couples wife. But it turns out he was having difficulty getting sparky to rise to the occasion. Turns out they had been visiting some of the local sites before we met that day and already enjoyed themselves in public. That left the misses feeling like she had missed out . At that point I promised her if she wanted to try swinging again I wouldn't try stopping her.

[Brit_Pair]

Our first experience was a goody. Subsequent experiences have been better, but the first was still good. The people we chose to share it with were newbies like us, but they were sassy, knew what they wanted, and knew well in advance what their and our limits were.

What did we do to make it good? Communicated. The four of us talked lots, in person and via emails/messenger. By the time of the meeting, there were four people in the room who literally begging for it!!

[Michcouple]

Our first experience was the best. However, we learned from that to know each other boundaries.

[autumn528]

It was horrible!! We had a ffm realtionship for about 6 months and after that was over, thought we might try a club and expand our boundries. We walked in the door and ran in to a couple I knew. I was very antsy as the last thing we wanted to do was run in to people we knew. Then I spilled a drink on my wife-she was wearing all white and I was drinking red wine. We were the youngest people in attendance and must have looked like fresh meat to all the old gappers. There was a woman at least 20 years my senior rubbing my chest while the couple sitting across the table from us were busy drooling over my wife. We hit the hottub and I knew right away the general was never going to stand at attention. I was nervous as hell but she was a champ and did her best to make me fell comfy, but alas to no avail. The crowd was lining up to take a shot at us and we beat feet it to a private room and were promptly followed by two other couples. A puanchy, balding, middle aged man was making a move on my wife and after a look from her that said nothing but "Ewww", we decided to call it a night. Of course when we got home we hit the sheets like a couple of rabbits. Go figure...

[Roxysbayou]

Originally posted by autumn528
after a look from her that said nothing but "Ewww", we decided to call it a night. Of course when we got home we hit the sheets like a couple of rabbits. Go figure...

I think that you win first prize for the worst possible night! I hope that things go better for you in the future!

[danc694u]

Our first experience..... at least Maggies first experience. Was great! Abd involved not one couple, but two couples

Sorry I was already in the lifestyle, a long time before meeting her LOL. My first sucked But that was a long time ago.

We actually look forward to having more than 4 people in the room now days.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by autumn528
A puanchy, balding, middle aged man was making a move on my wife and after a look from her that said nothing but "Ewww", we decided to call it a night. Of course when we got home we hit the sheets like a couple of rabbits. Go figure...

I'm with Roxy, you definitely get first prize! I'm curious though, how old are you when you are considered an "old gapper"?

Well, maybe not not laughing too hard....I may be an "old gapper"!

[autumn528]

Age really wasn't the problem. Although most of the club consisted of people in their 50's. It was just disturbing to see naked men looking like they were wearing fur coats and having sex w/ people who looked like we should've been throwing 'em back in the water. Here's the funny thing: We figured it was just a bad night at the club-after all they must have both good and bad nights. Soooo, we went back a month later and it turned out that the first night we were there WAS a good night.