Our first "experience", Going to a social

[riprat]

We had been on SLS for a little while, mostly looking at pics, trying to guess who the ones listed close to us were, looking at the same time for somebody that we would be comfortable with. We had sent out a few emails and answered a few, but hadn't really had any real good connections with any of them, if they even answered at all. Then one Sat afternoon as we were browsing the profiles, we got an email from a couple close to Birmingham,Al. They were going to the Obsessions social that night and wondered if we would like to meet them there. Having never been to a social, and not knowing what to expect, we chatted on IM with them for a while before we decided to go. We found the hotel where the social was being held without any problem, and Mr "E" was waiting at the door for us. We went in, registered, and went to their table. Things were already started, the DJ was spinning some tunes, and some people were dancing. I sat back and watched, because I'm no dancer. After a little while, another couple that were friends with E came in, and they had a Sybian with them. After talking a while, they set it up in a cubbyhole closet with a curtain. We went and watched some of the ladies ride it, J, E's wife, and some of the others. Couldn't talk D into it, but she was sure interested. We went back to the table for more small talk, and E ask if he could dance with my wife, I said sure if she's ok with it. They danced a little, and I watched them, he was feeling her up pretty good. After a little bit, they sat back down, and the ladies went to the powder room. He and I talked a bit, he told me what his wife liked, and he asked me if he could take off my wifes panties, and I told him again, ok with me, but ask her first. After the ladies came back, they went back to the dance floor, and I asked J if she wanted to dance. Now I've already said I'm no dancer, but I figured if I followed what E had told me, I would be ok. We slow danced a bit, and I started to let my hands wander. Soon, with J's approval, I was feeling her tits and pussy. Then I noticed D, taking her panties off and giving them to E. I thought to my self, this is going to work out great. J and I went and sat back down, she wanted something to drink. We sat and talked a bit more, and then she said, " Where did E and your wife get off to ? " I said, "I don't know, I don't see them." She said, " Lets find them". Now before we left home, we had set some rules, one of which was we were going to stay together, and if any playing went on, we were going to play together. Now she was missing, and I didn't know what to think.....

We found E and D a few minutes later, in the closed off half of the ballroom. She was sitting in a chair, legs spread, dress up around her waist, and E was eating her out! J's first words were, " What are ya'll doing?" I got an instant hard on, and D would tell me later that when she heard J, she was scared to death! It wasn't what she said, but the way she said it, that scared D. E said, " We had to get a little more private than the dance floor. Ya'll watch or do what ever ya'll want to." I looked at D, she said it's ok, so I started feeling up J again. I sat her down in a chair like D was, and proceded to eat her out. After she came, She got up and went over to where E and D were. She then started blowing E. D got up out of the chair, I had my dick out now, and she stroked it for me. J never touched me at all. I came in my hand, wiped it on some paper towels I found, and we went back to the public area. D told me later that she had given E a blowjob, but he didn't cum. She said she just went with the flow, and didn't think about staying together at that time, but felt guilty. We found out later that E is known as the producer in local swinging circles, he likes to tell everybody what to do, how to do it. I was ok with what went on, but for D, it was almost a stopper. She had a guilt trip the next few days, and we almost never got another chance. But we did, and I'll detail that in another post.

[TravlParty]

It sounds like you found an aggressive male (E) who is used to calling the shots, and his wife wasn't too happy about him taking your wife off without talking to either of you. The fact that she paid you no attention was not good either. Something's wrong with that situation.

Chalk it up to lesson learned and move on.

As for your wife's guilt, forgive her and talk about how she can avoid the aggressive male in the future. My wife is attracted to aggressive males (opposite of me), but would never go off with him without telling me first. She makes it very clear to anyone we're with that she never plays without me being in the room. So, stick to your rules and don't feel that you can't put on the brakes and say, "hold on, I need to let my partner know that we'd like to play."

Every experience teaches you something new. Talk about it and assure her that you understand she was overtaken by a jerk who had no concern for your feelings and/or rules.

Good luck with finding more pleasurable company in the future. There are some good people out there; you just have to be careful.

[riprat]

Yeah, we pretty much did just that. If we had of let it, it would have ruined us for good. After we met up with another couple and discussed how things went, they gave us some good advice and things have went much better since then.
Newbies like us at the time are overcome with so many things, it's easy for an aggressive person to take advantage of them. After we learned that, it's easy now for us to spot the aggressive types and avoid them. I think that's what happens to a lot of first timers and newbies, somebody takes advantage of them, and they get out, more oftentimes hurt or abused. I learned a long time ago, things aren't perfect every time. If you really want to do something, sometimes it takes more than once to make it work the way the way you think it should.

[jjtrindc]

First off, good for you two for looking at the situation objectively and working through it. We think that says a lot about you as a couple and the strength of your marriage. I think the others are absolutely correct in that you got caught in a bad situation by an aggressive man. It's too bad because you'll quickly find that 95% of the men in the lifestyle are very nice and respectful. There is a common phrase that the lifestyle is run by woman and most of us firmly believe that.

One piece of advice. Have ground rules before you go into a club or party covering what you will and will not do or the fact that you only play with your partner visible to you. Stick to them. Not only will that mean that you will avoid any issues with your partner, but having firm ground rules gives you the reason you need to stand firm against an aggressive man (or woman...and yes they are out there too). If a situation is progressing to a point where you are uncomfortable, then you simply state "I'm sorry, I don't do that or I'd be more comfortable if my husband was here." If the person tries to convince you otherwise then that's the alarm bell you need to walk away. That person doesn't respect you or your boundaries. If for some reason they follow you or keep at it, make a direct line to the club owner, bouncer, host and report them. You will be doing yourself and everyone else there a favor.

Good luck in future encounters!