First experience. Wow!

[SnowwwWhite]

Okay!!! I had my first swinging experience this weekend at an on-premise club... I'm posting my experience so other newbies can get an idea of what it's like from a different perspective.

(This is kinda long and probably would be better as a blog but here goes...)

As some of the SB regulars know I've been posting on here for about five or six months... well maybe more lurking at first. I've been curious about swinging since my former partner brought it up. Over the course of the last year and a half I went from appalled... to curious... to downright intrigued. And here I am... one of those people who should probably admit they'll try anything once.

Okay, twice!

For the record, since joining the site I've really enjoyed reading everyone's opinions and offering my own on occasion (as we all know I'm pretty opinionated!). Anyway all this time I've been really curious what to expect and had all these visions of what it would be like, and finally this weekend I took the plunge and did it. It was quite the mixture of excitement, sexiness, energy, and yes, a bit of drama.

The club was cozier than I expected. The downstairs was really small, and the dance floor was little more than a postage stamp with a pole in the middle... surrounded by couches and tables... but it was plenty of space for the crowd. The club was in a converted house in a multi-family housing area in a somewhat sketchy part of town. No big deal because the parking was close and I never felt unsafe. The front door was locked and you had to ring a bell to get in.

The owners were great... very friendly... and we got there early for a house tour. Upstairs we got to see four play rooms, a lounging area, and the roman showers. They had lockers (without locks) and towels provided. The basement was one large room with a few huge beds with an adjoining shower area. I immediately felt comfortable and liked the cozy atmosphere. The owner mentioned they're still working on updates, but I actually liked the retro quaintness.

We were pretty much the first ones in the club other than the bartender and owners, so we sat on the couches near the dance floor. I also should mention that I invited a vanilla friend and his girlfriend to meet us. It was a good call because they took to the club and had just as much fun as we did. I had no idea they would be interested but decided to give him a call on the off chance. Glad I trusted my intuition on this one. Although we agreed to not let the rest of our vanilla group in on our "little secret."

About 30 minutes after I got there I decided to change into the lingerie I brought. I'm overly modest and typically shy away from full nudity, even with boyfriends so this was an exciting departure from the norm for me, but I decided I wanted to have the full libertine experience. I still can't believe I was walking around in public in heels and lingerie! But I'm glad I did. There was lots of partial nudity on the dance floor and a lot of women in lingerie so I felt right in place.

So, on the boards I'd heard so much about the problems with couples chemistry... how it's hard to find another couple where everyone has chemistry. That was in no way a problem for me and my partner. I was definitely attracted to most every couple he pointed out.

So it was my job to approach... I felt a little weird at first because it's not my style to "have an agenda" when I'm making friends with people. I think my partner assumed since I have an outgoing personality I would go out and "make things happen." I sort of felt like a sales person cold calling when I went up to a few people. If I hadn't been there with my partner it would have been more natural for me, but I could feel his expectations and sense of urgency. I at one point told him to stay calm and not expect to play with specific couples TONIGHT because they would feel the desperation if we smothered them. I'm more of the type to just meet and talk and hope for a future meeting, no pressure. I think that's one of the reasons people receive me well in typical situations... I truly expect nothing more in any encounter with new people other than to just meet and find out more about them. So I was feeling a little unnatural being the "cruise director" to make sure my partner got to play. Maybe that's just a guy thing... at times he reminded me of a kid in the candy store, which can come across a little creepy. I tried to encourage him to relax and chill out and be his regular quiet self. (I didn't want anyone to smell it on him and accidentally get turned off!)

As the night wore on, the owners asked me if I wanted to go around and measure the guys. I was open to it but did a lousy job because I didn't go up to anybody and ask them to strip down! I just waited for the owners to tell me who wanted to be measured... I was pretty tipsy at that point and my attention was all over the place... maybe I'll be better at it next time! I was standing around and chatting during it so it wasn't that I was a wall flower... just not used to asking men to whip it out!

One of the things that happened that I really liked was when I went up to several different couples to talk to them... and each of them said they couldn't believe it was my first time. At least three different couples said they thought I was a regular. One of those couples was a newbie couple and the female said she was glad I came up to her because she had told her boyfriend that of all the people at the club she liked me the most and thought I looked like a nice person, and she was excited that I approached them. How cool!

It's funny how things transition from the public floor to the playrooms. I didn't plan it at all... it just kind of happened. And I don't know how we ended up with our playmates because it just happened. All this time my partner wanted us to scope people out and have a plan of action, but when it came down to it our playmates basically found us. (Note to self!)

We grabbed some towels and then went upstairs... stripped down, wrapped the towels around us and then started out at the video voyeur room, just watching. Then we went to the other play rooms and I spotted that newbie couple together with the door open... I came in and asked if they wanted some company. So we all were on the bed... but stayed with our own partners at first... then I started talking to the female and asked if I could touch her... she said yes... it all went well until my partner started playing with me and I ended up lying on the bed with my eyes closed... someone started touching me and I thought it was her... Turns out while I was focused on my partner she had left to the bathroom... it was HER partner who was touching me... all of the sudden I heard her at the door saying "We're going home NOWWWW." I was a little surprised when I opened my eyes and it was him right beside me! I honestly thought it was her.

Bummer. I felt bad because I would never want to cross their boundaries or cause them to have an uncomfortable first time. Everything had played out so naturally and we were basically just playing on the same bed with our own partners so rules never came up. I'll just be more careful next time and more cautious. I'm guessing they hadn't discussed their boundaries together, or maybe he crossed it by starting something with me when she was in the restroom. If I had known it was him and she was no longer in the room I would have not allowed anything. Fortunately it was a few caresses and kisses above the waist, nothing permanent. I hope they can work it out and I can see them again. Hopefully this situation gives them a good reason to talk about things so they can be more prepared next time.

So after that, my partner and I went to a larger more open room and started playing together near my vanilla friends who were playing on a bed together. After a few minutes my partner and I went to the voyeur room, and then back to another playroom where we made space together on the huge bed next to about two or three other couples. That's when another couple came in and asked us if we wanted to play with them... we had seen them downstairs before and they were very attractive. I had measured the guy and he was a HUGE 9.5" inches. The girl was very cute, too and my partner had pointed her out so I knew it was a go.

We soft swapped for awhile. I turned out to be less bisexually open than I thought I would be. I couldn't bring myself to go down on the girl or let her do me... and I felt bad telling her I just wasn't ready... but she was really sweet about it. I'm sure I'll loosen up, but being my first time I was a little overwhelmed and didn't want to make a decision I'd regret... or feel like I allowed myself to give in to the environment without clear thought. This was their second time at the club so they were relative newbies, too. After my experiences Saturday I feel like newbies playing with newbies is an ideal situation. I never felt pressure and they didn't want to full swap either so none of us had to feel like the other couple was missing out on something.

Surprisingly, my partner and I didn't go in with any rules, which might surprise anyone who's read my posts and all my concerns about boundaries. I just didn't feel the need and figured I would communicate to him if there was something I didn't like. I knew he would be game for whatever so I wasn't worried about that. As the night wore on and we were on our way upstairs, I did tell him I didn't want to swap. That was pretty much the only thing I had to communicate. I had thought maybe I wouldn't want him kissing anyone but it didn't come up. And when we started playing with the second couple her rules were no kissing and no intercourse so I didn't have to say anything. Honestly, once I was in the thick of it I wouldn't have minded about the kissing. I think a lot of that was due to knowing we wouldn't see these people very often.

Other than my partner doing a few things in the public area that concerned me... like taking off without me to hit on some girls (which apparently didn't pan out), getting anxious to "make things happen" with specific couples... or when I asked him "do you want to go out there and dance?" he said "Yeah, I want to ask HER to dance!" and took off without me. (Jerk!), Otherwise he did just fine and we seemed to be really in sync for two people who hadn't discussed any expectations. Not to mention this visit to the club was a surprise to him. I gave him hints earlier in the week, but didn't come clean about where we were going or the fact I had invited friends until a couple of hours before we left. That may sound different, but I know what he likes and knew he'd enjoy being with that couple. We'd also gone to strip clubs together several times and had talked about swinging. And I can't imagine many open-minded men getting upset about being taken to a swinger's club! Anyway, he seemed to have a very good time with no complaints.

There's a lot of different parts of the experience I haven't mentioned. I started another post with details about a creepy guy that was lurking about, and I plan to start another few threads with some specific situations that might start some conversation... like how I was surprised at how sexy people can be when their bodies aren't perfect... and how I was pleasantly surprised at the general attractiveness of the swingers there. (I'd read lots of posts and expected a lot more unattractive or obese people. Was not the case!)

I'm definitely open to comments or questions about the night. It was a positive experience and I'm already looking forward to the next time!

[fun4Ds]

Sounds like a great first time at the club..... See, we told ya it was fun

I just wondered why the invite to a Vanilla couple? Was there previous interests talked about ?

Oh, and why the dick measuring ?

[SnowwwWhite]

Thanks Fun4Ds! Your posts have been some of my inspiration over time... I love how you guys have been together so long and continue to value each other.

To answer your questions...

I invited the vanilla couple on a hunch. Pure and simple.

He's a "private" guy (whenever we go on ski trips he prefers to have a private bedroom if we've got space and he strikes out on his own from time to time. A bit of a loner actually). He's also a doctor... but there's something about him that made me feel like he'd be open to it. He also has a young (26) girlfriend who's very attractive and outgoing. I tend to have pretty good instincts and just felt like he'd go. I don't think I ever considered he'd be shocked or reject it. I don't know why... like I said, just an instinct thing. Maybe I have "swinger-dar"

As for the measuring, the theme that night was "8+ inches night." I have no idea why... I asked the owners and they said it was just for fun and anyone could come. I thought it was hilarious when one of the owners handed me a dick measuring apparatus! Basically a ruler in the shape of a penis with little comments beside each measurement.

Yeah, I had a great time. I just got off the phone with my "vanilla" friend and he said he and his girlfriend want to go back... I said to just name the date.

[JustAskJulie]

I've been under the impression that you were a single girl, so who was this "partner" that you were there with? I'd say from his various actions and attitudes he doesn't sound like a boyfriend (or someone who really cares about you), more just someone to go to the club with. From all that I just read, I think you might actually have a better time there on your own or just going with another couple that you aren't tied to for the night.

Glad you had a good time and don't forget to review the club in question in the Club Reviews section of the site.

[SnowwwWhite]

Thanks Julie... working on a response...