First time experience was a bad one. - Newbies preyed on at club

[tribbles]

The complete bloodwork/STD check came clean so no worries about that anymore.

Can someone get HSV and HIV results in less than a month after playing? Or did the experience happen long enough ago that blood tests are good. I thought HSV blood work wasn't useful for 3 months after possible exposure.

Glad your tests are negative.

[SecretAsianMan]

It's a tough thing - but both you and your partner need to make it clear that "bareback" is not something y'all are into. I've been in situations similar to that & always stuck around to make sure anyone my partner was with kept a condom on throughout ... even if that meant I needed to forego playing with other people for a while. (Usually it just meant I would be getting serviced orally by my partner while they had intercourse with her)

It's one of those "dangers" you need to keep an eye out on. Most guys are fine with wearing protection ('cuz it's not just your gal that is being protected - the guys are protecting themselves from your gal) ...after all, if y'all have never been together before & aren't familiar with one another - who knows what y'all are bringing to play, right??

I hope that this was just a one-time "bad experience" and y'all will continue to have a good time in the lifestyle. Remember - you need to communicate to ALL your partners (and be aware yourself) of the type of interaction that's going on.

Be safe & enjoy.

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by magiriano

They are banned from all other clubs yet the owners of this club didn't banned them and didn't care to warn us about it.
Other members didn't warn us about them either.

How many on-premise clubs are there in Calgary, anyway? Most markets of Calgary's size only have one or two, but you make it seem as if this couple has been banned from five or six. If this couple has indeed been banned from a half-dozen clubs, then it's not unreasonable to expect other club owners to be wary of a couple with such a widespread reputation. But if this couple has been banned from only one or two, then we're not convinced that other club owners have a responsibility to ban that couple based on so little hearsay.

Speaking of hearsay, did you survey the other owners to verify that this couple was indeed banned from their clubs, or did you just take everyone else's word for it? Personally, we avoid making decisions about where we play based on what other people do or say. If we have a bad experience with a couple, we just don't play with them anymore, but that won't keep us away from a place we otherwise enjoy. Futhermore, we prefer to judge people based on our personal experience with them, not everyone else's experiences.

[onenastyday]

Originally Posted by NumbskullsX2

You are responsable for whatever situations you and your wife get into, not the club owner. Try getting to know people a little but before you hop into bed with them and this probably won't happen again.

I would not write anything except that I feel bad what you had to go through and it is lesson for next time if any. Thanks a lot for sharing as there are a lot of first timers here, they ought to know that bad things can happen

[J & K]

First it is not the club owners to screen who puts condoms on. We are all adults in this lifestyle and it is everybodys responsiblities to make sure safe sex happens. It all falls down to you and your wife to make sure all the right steps are taken.

When I saw you didn't stop the event I asked "why"? If I saw some dude doing that with my wife and sneaked off the protection I would of stopped it right there....temper or not. You still let it happen when it all comes down to it. So that guy and you were at fault in a nutshell. Others around you would of understood if you wanted to raise hell about it. At least that would of been a great warning signal for others on that night to beware of this guys behavior. On the other hand he is just stupid himself by not protecting himself. That tells you something about the guy and his lady. WOW!!! We would be scared as hell for a while if this happened to us, but I sure would of decked the guy anyways even if it meant us being thrown out of the club.

[nhcpl1968]

Take it from an owner if we are not told about a problem there is not much we can do about it.....So if i were you i would talk to the owners .then see what happens

[magiriano]

Originally Posted by NumbskullsX2

You are responsable for whatever situations you and your wife get into, not the club owner. Try getting to know people a little but before you hop into bed with them and this probably won't happen again.

Yah right!!!!!!!!!!
About a mth ago at the advice of some online friends, we decided to go back to the same club.
We had fun, socialised and then my wife and I went to the playroom to have fun by ourselves.
We were in the middle of it when a guy just tried to enter her bareback again and I heard my wife saying NO twice.......She jumped and left the bed.
Long story short, I beated the crap out of him and weren't for the owners I would've put him in a coma or worst. He was such a wimp and didn't even put a single hand up, just took the beating like a bitch.
Still think he got off cheap for his attempted rape. My right wrist still hurts.
Our guess is that this shit happens a lot more than ppl like to admit of.........
Anyway, we got the membership refunded and had enough swinging for now........
Good luck to the rest of you tho............

[slevin]

That is bizarre. We've been to a club here a number of times and not once has anyone even tried to touch Katrina without asking first. Every time she says no they politely go about whatever (and whoever) they were already engaged with. I've never seen anyone touch anyone else inappropriately and if it did ever happen all it would take is one conversation with the owners for that person to be shown the door permanently.

Sucks that you had a bad experience. Good luck to you both.

[rpu3]

We were in the middle of it when a guy just tried to enter her bareback again and I heard my wife saying NO twice.......She jumped and left the bed.

Well, I'm sorry you had two bad experiences, but I am a bit confused that if you two went off by yourselves, how did it come that this guy could even be in a position to try to fuck your wife, bareback/permission notwithstanding? If I'm going at it with The Spousal Unit or someone else, I'm not sure how anyone else could get their penis even close to in the mix?

And I'm with Slevin - other than a bit of non-permissive touching, for which nothing more than my very effective "death glare" resolves, I've not seen or experienced this kind of behavior. Your experiences are definitely a head-scratcher.

[BiloxiCouple]

There is more to the story than what we are being told.

[lizandtom]

I would venture to guess that you went to the club on a night when single guys are allowed and you encountered one who doesn't know the swing club etiquette. We only attend swing clubs when it's couples and girls only. Nothing against single guys who know the rules and have respect, but so many don't.

As for pummeling the guy who didn't throw fists back, I think you're lucky you weren't arrested, unless there's more to it than that. Usually you find a bouncer or the owner and have their arse thrown out and banned.

Considering you've had repeated issues, you might be too hotheaded to be in the lifestyle.

[magiriano]

Originally Posted by BiloxiCouple

There is more to the story than what we are being told.

Of course there is............
While asking the owners for a refund on the membership, the lady that brought the guy in(her guest) said to the owners that she told him repeteadly not to go near my wife without a condom on but he just wouldn't listen. She also said it wasn't her boyfriend but just a friend and she was banned from the club. He was not a member.
The club is not as upscale as the other two in town but it alows smoking ( for those who don't know this smoking is banned in public bars/ restaurants Canada wide) and since we weren't meeting anyone or looking to play with anyone that night but just go out, people watching and satisfy our voyouristic cravings I said what the hell, if we don't meet anyone we like at least I can smoke there as oppose to the other clubs.
So yes maybe we were slamming just a bit.
And short of writing a novel about it I can't describe all the events that occured that evening.....I can only give you my side of the story and it's subjectivity..........

Originally Posted by lizandtom

I would venture to guess that you went to the club on a night when single guys are allowed and you encountered one who doesn't know the swing club etiquette. We only attend swing clubs when it's couples and girls only. Nothing against single guys who know the rules and have respect, but so many don't.

As for pummeling the guy who didn't throw fists back, I think you're lucky you weren't arrested.

Thanx for venturing and no it was not a singles night. Something was fishy about the story the member that brought him in had.......He was not her spouse or boyfriend but just some guy, and she seemed too devastated about being banned from the club. She was crying and begging the owners not to ban her?!
At the time I was pissed that I didn't got arrested so I can find out who the guy was and where does he live..His luck I guess... The previous experience and the stress that accumulated over the few months of waiting for a clean bill of health and a negative pregnancy test got the best of me and I just felt like nothing short of puting the guy in a coma was enough. But the bouncers held me to give him a chance to run away which he did naked .
We were the only two people in the playroom, and before we knew it people magically appeared around us - see first time club experience and the questions that follow...
We were really into it and didn't mind the touching, condoms were close by and I put one in the guys hand but then he put it down and tried to enter Mia without a condom and she said NO, he tried again and she said NO but he kept at it and she jumped.
I was on the bottom, she was on top kissing me he was behind her so I didn't had a clear view of what went on behind Mia but after I heard her saying No the second time and when she jumped I did went bannanas.......

rpu3 I hope this covers your post too..........The touching was permissive, Mia liked it but he ignored my request for condom only and he ignored Mia twice when she said NO .........

[Additude]

Bizarre....

Just very bizarre......

With all due respect, I'm amazed that you'd even return to that club and even then that you did, have a second experience as equally related to the first, but this time even more intense and ending in physical violence, the club expulsing 2 individuals and you being refunded your membership.

I think you need to find a new hobby.

[JustAskJulie]

Was this the same club as the first experience?

It definately sounds like some asshole guy found this girl and used her as a ticket (she may have already been a member and maybe she told him and he thought it was a great chance to get something/somewhere/ someone he wouldn't otherwise have the opportunity to do.

I'm sorry that you've had two experiences in a row go this way, but this is not the norm. I've never had it happen in over 10 years in the lifestyle, going to clubs, being involved in a variety of large group sexcapades including gangbangs and the like. I can definately understand how going through that twice would be enough to make you not want to try again, and that's your choice. But, please know that that is not the norm.

[magiriano]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Was this the same club as the first experience?

It definately sounds like some asshole guy found this girl and used her as a ticket (she may have already been a member and maybe she told him and he thought it was a great chance to get something/somewhere/ someone he wouldn't otherwise have the opportunity to do.

I'm sorry that you've had two experiences in a row go this way, but this is not the norm. I've never had it happen in over 10 years in the lifestyle, going to clubs, being involved in a variety of large group sexcapades including gangbangs and the like. I can definately understand how going through that twice would be enough to make you not want to try again, and that's your choice. But, please know that that is not the norm.

Yes, same club.We really didn't wanna go back TO MM but we got talked into going back by one of our internet friends from AFF .As far as I know there's 3 clubs in Calgary and another one about 30 mins out of town. But this is the only place in town other than the indian casino where smoking is still alowed and while I am not a chain smoker I enjoy smoking especially while clubbing.
The truth is, the other two clubs seemed more selective of it's members, one of them is too new and with a young crowd and to us it felt like a rave place but the other ( CAPC) is just awesome. Small, but well decorated well supplied with snacks, drinks, fruit and the presentation is great, the rooms are well suplied with lubes, towels, etc., non smoking and about 30-40 mins drive.
Since we only went once to the awesome club and didn't knew the usuals or anybody there, and we weren't looking to play with others yet we chose to put behind our first experience and go to the same club that is 5 mins away from home(we have a toddler), where we know a few people and were I could smoke even tho it seems less selective of it's members and is not as nice as CAPC. Being a lifestyle club we expected that everyone plays by the same rules. And we took the advice of some here that said it wasn't the club owners fault for our first crappy time there.
And we did have fun the whole night there, we danced, mingled, met new people it was all good untill the idiot decided to disregard us. He got a rotten deal - poor bastard, I took out on him all my anger and frustration from the first idiot but oh well..........
I don't know, maybe our idea of swingers was that of hippies and free love and now we know that we should've learn more about it before getting into it?