Our first full swap

[ktimephoenix]

We went to the local meet and greet. it was the same night as one of the big parties, so we actually thought we were giving up the chance of playing (the meet and greet premesis has a no-play rule).

anyway, we met a few people, many of which recognised us from our profile.

we settled in with a couple older than us (mid 40's, compared to 18 and 25). we talked and really clicked, so ended up spending most our time with them. we danced together, and had fun. we discussed our kinks and our preferences.

they lived up our way, so offered us a lift once the night wore on. we thought "we might play with this couple". we both knew that we were attracted to them (he looked closer to 30, and she was a sexy 40).

after more flirting in the car, we got to ours, offered them in for a drink. we chatted a bit more, and they left, after swapping numbers with us, so we could arrange to go to the next party together.

Mrs P and I were talking about how we could have/should have stepped the flirting up a notch, when low and behold, we got a message from them, saying that they were too shy to ask us to their place, because they had never couple swapped before, and that the lady had never been with a woman before (she seemed pretty keen on Mrs P all night), and if we were keen, we should come over, they had the porn on standby, and they'd make us breakfast .

so of course we did what any couple would do... warm up the engine while they gave us their address !!!!

we got to their place, chatted a bit more, and the conversation drifted towards each couples preferences and rules. i still felt things were too surreal until she asked Mrs P, "so am i allowed to fuck Mr P" . things started getting playful between our own partners, and i wispered to Mrs P that she should give him a hand in pleasing his partner. Mrs P started kissing up her leg and you could see her shiver at each kiss. she then just exploded with lust towards Mrs P, with some of the most sensual kissing i have ever seen. she greedily ripped Mrs P's top off and started on her boobs (can't blame her, they are PERFECT!!!). after the girls played for a bit, he started stroking both of the girls, and then i joined in.

we split off, with him kissing and playing with Mrs P and me playing with his partner. Her and i moved to sex pretty quickly, while Mrs P and he took their time. my moment of truth came (i was always concerned about guilt/jealousy after i came), but i was fine, apart from some dehydration.

she and i grabbed a drink and watched our respecive partners play for all of about 30 seconds, until we started playing again. now i'm not normally a guy that can recover from sex quickly, but the minute i saw Mrs P give another man head, i got hard again. she wasted no time in going down on me, then jumping me again. she claims it's "the naughty 40's"... if mrs P gets more insatiable when she hits 40, i think i'll need a pacemaker.

Anyway, after things wound down, we sat around, had a bit of a chat, then i went off for work!!!

Unfortunately, because i wasn't thinking, i overstepped one of our boundaries during the experience (i know i know, i'm beating myself up for it at the moment), so Mrs P and I have mainly focussed on that aspect so far with our discussions about "how it was".

[socolais]

Congratulations!! That sounds like a very fun encounter. I think it would have been very difficult for me to pull a shift at work after our first swap....

[JustMrJ]

Congratulations!

Yes, if something went outside of your set boundaries during play, you should DEFINTELY discuss it at length.

Keep that communication going...

[ktimephoenix]

Originally Posted by JustMrJ

Congratulations!

Yes, if something went outside of your set boundaries during play, you should DEFINTELY discuss it at length.

Keep that communication going...

Yep, we are definately working through it. Mrs P felt justifiably upset about it, and i know i did wrong, so we can't see this "festering" into a big issue, it's a clear cut case that will just take time, and opportunity for me to "prove" myself trustworthy. and then it'll take even more time for me to forgive myself for marring our first time.

things are improving already though. Mrs P. last night actually started a conversation about the experience, and is starting to look at the positives from the experience.

[justcurious22]

You explained this very well. From someone who is just beginning to think about this type of lifestyle, I appreciate your honest and detailed encounter.

[justcurious22]

Still learning here. That previous message was meant for the story of Mr and Mrs P. Thanks.

[bryanlee]

I am just curious waht the boundary was that you crossed over. I can see things getting getting lost in the heat of the moment, but i guess that's why it is so important to talk about these things so much.

Sounds like your experience was a great one otherwise. We are looking forward to ours as well.

Bryan & Sharon

[ktimephoenix]

The boundary was that Mr P and the other Male was to wear a condom at all times during full on sex (head of course is fine) but he didnt and to me that was a big thing, not just because it was a condom but it hurt me that he disregarded my feelings and our aggreements as soon as something started happening.
I have been f*!ked around alot in the past when it comes to trust so i find it hard to accept it as a mistake at mr p says it was, honestly i know i can trust him i think i just have to see him prove it was a mistake.

~Mrs P

[bibbwtoronto]

Mrs P, you are very justified. I would be very pissed about that as well. Mistakes happen but on the first encounter everyone should be on their "best" behavior.

[tittietwister]

Originally Posted by ktimephoenix

I have been f*!ked around alot in the past when it comes to trust so i find it hard to accept it as a mistake at mr p says it was, honestly i know i can trust him i think i just have to see him prove it was a mistake.

~Mrs P

Mrs P, from the male perspective I'm in full agreement. To call it a mistake is evading responsibility and accountability for a decision made contrary to your agreement. And frankly, I'm very tired of couples who proclaim condoms required and then make similar "mistakes."

[cataryna]

Originally Posted by ktimephoenix

honestly i know i can trust him i think i just have to see him prove it was a mistake.

I am curious as to how you think he could prove it was a mistake? Has he apologized? Has he said he wouldn't do it again? Do you think he feels appropriately remorseful?

You've opened up your communication about the issue I'm sure so in my opinion the only way he can "prove" it was a mistake is to go back out into the rain with his raincoat fully buttoned. Are you willing to go back in the rain and risk getting wet again or are you going sit under the protective cover of the porch and wait for the rain to end? Silly analogy I know lol but my point is...At some point or another I believe that most everyone's boundaries may get tested or stretched. I think that's how we grow and progress in the lifestyle. If you can communicate about it successfully to where each party understands what went wrong then you can work past it. Remember this lifestyle is based on trust not "proof". There are two ways you can deal with this, either don't swing again or trust that he has learned his lesson, put it behind you, and move on to your next adventure.

[ktimephoenix]

it is definately a hard one to prove but i will give Mr P another chance, and if it happens again i will definately re asses our swinging life. Trust is such a big thing when you are swingers but i agree with bibbwtoronto everyone should be on their best behavior especially on the first encounter.
guess i just need to see that it doesnt happen again in the future, and i do believe mr P will make sure it doesnt.

[tribbles]

One thing we learned.....what we are used to doing with each other is a habit. And with being nervous and excited, it's easy to slip into habit. It takes time to learn new behaviors and stopping to put on a condom was for us, a very new behavior.

So, be patient and work together to remember.

[ktimephoenix]

Originally Posted by tittietwister

Mrs P, from the male perspective I'm in full agreement. To call it a mistake is evading responsibility and accountability for a decision made contrary to your agreement. And frankly, I'm very tired of couples who proclaim condoms required and then make similar "mistakes."

Without full knowlege of the situation, or the aftermath, i think it may be premature to step onto the soap box with this one. if someone makes a "mistake" behind the wheel of a car, and crashes, we don't jump to the conclusion that they deliberately went on a rampage to tryd to harm anyone, nor does it mean the driver is trying to claim no responsibility. Mistake simply infers it wasn't a deliberate, intended action... or lack of one.

have i appologised? plenty of times. Am i remorseful? absolutely. am i kicking myself about it? absolutely. If Mrs P want's us to leave the lifestyle because of this breach of trust, then i support that decision 100%. and i see it as a tribute to how strong she is that she is willing to give me another chance.

Originally Posted by tribbles

One thing we learned.....what we are used to doing with each other is a habit. And with being nervous and excited, it's easy to slip into habit. It takes time to learn new behaviors and stopping to put on a condom was for us, a very new behavior.

So, be patient and work together to remember.

This is exactly how it happened. Mrs P and I have only used condoms together about 3 times in our relationship (all very early on).

when the wife of the other couple and i started playing the first time, i wore a condom. i was very concious of our rule, and followed it.

We finished early, while Mrs P and he were still playing. instead of getting them to stop the fun (which was another of our rules, that once one was done, all were done, but have since decided that it was a silly rule), her and i enjoyed our own live porno, and soon enough were emmersed in the lust again... but as you said, it's pretty easy to just go on auto pilot. once i realised the vital missing ingredient, her and i stopped playing completely, and waited for Mrs P and her husband to finish up.