Our first time-the good and the bad

[wlhotwife]

Well, we aren't Lifestyle virgins anymore! I think we'll still be newbies for quite a while, but at least we popped our cherry.
I tried to go into the experience without expectations, but I suppose like any fantasy turned reality...there is going to be a bit of a letdown.
It was exciting, but not nearly as much of a thrill as I had anticipated. The sex was good, but not great. I was very nervous, and probably over-eager to please my partner, so I didn't really get to relax and enjoy the experience. Also, I felt a bit detached, the whole evening. It was very surreal...like an out of body experience.
Part of the problem is I'm not overly physically attracted to the other Mr. I love his personality, and we have tons in common, so I thought the lack of physical chemisty wouldn't be an issue. (It must be said that Mr. WL wasn't my "type" either when we met, and still isn't physically, but we've been together for over 30 years, so obviously I got past that!) I'm not sure it really was an issue, but I can't get over the feeling that I was "faking" my enthusiasm. I respect and like him too much to do that, so I have very conflicted emotions about it.
Mr. WL did not get to have intercourse with the other Mrs., and he regrets this. (He came during oral, and once he recovered I hopped on-I didn't realize they hadn't done the deed...greedy me!)
Mr. WL had minor erection difficulties. Surprising, since he had taken Cialis..never had any problems with that on board before.
Now for the good parts....Neither of us had any issue with seeing the other with someone else. In fact, it was a huge turn-on. I wish I had taken more time to watch!
I had my first girl on girl contact. My reaction at the time was somewhat muted, due to the whole "out of body" feeling, and I was a somewhat passive participant. She kind of joined in while I was getting it on with her Mr. and fondled and kissed me. Then later, she brought me to orgasm with a toy she had in her goodie bag. At the time, I was on sensory overload, but Mr. WL tells me it was the hottest moment of the entire night.
They made things very comfortable for us, and were so gracious. I have a far from perfect physique, and have many body image issues, but they did their best to make me feel really beautiful and sexy.
Probably the best thing to come from the experience is the fire it lit under Mr. WL. Up till now, he has been somewhat passive about our foray into the lifestyle, referring to it as "Mrs. WL's thing". Now, he can't wait to do it again, and is asking me to try and find other couples for us to meet. He didn't want to go to any dances or meet and greets, and now we are both looking forward to one in a couple of weeks.
We will probably get together with this couple again...I hope my detachment was more a result of nerves, and I'll be able to enjoy myself, and be more "in the moment" next time. I also want there to be more interaction between all 4 of us. (we were on two seperate beds last time.) And I definitely want to be a bit more active with her!
In any case, we have some new friends that we really enjoy spending time with, and hopefully things will be better in the bedroom from here on out.
I welcome any comments or suggestions for making our next experience(s) even better.

[VegasLee]

We work hard at telling newbies don't ever have expectations of any kind.

The mind is very powerful and it is not possible to ever live up to what your mind can come up with.

Sounds like you are pretty much grounded in your thoughts those after this experience and heading the right directions.

Good luck to you.

[shymxcpl]

I don't know about you WL but this sounds pretty normal. Kind of like our first time too.
And it seems like "so that's it?" until you think about the first time you had sex in your life.

My cumming of age was a "so that's it?" moment too. I was done in about 90 seconds and it was not what I thought it would be. But with time we learn to do it better and have a more pleasurable experience.

Kudos and best of luck on your next adventures, whatever they maybe.

[socolais]

That sounds like a great first encounter!!! Nice narrative of the events and thoughts too. Every encounter is unique as a snowflake, and yeah I think they keep getting better all the time....

[cocpl2007]

Congratulations on the loss of your swinger virginity! We've all been there (well, those of us non-newbies here) and the story you recount is probably similar to a lot of our virginity-losing couples experiences. If your experience evolves as ours, you'll find that multiple sessions with the same couple allows the nerves to settle, and the exploration to become much, much more lusty (or is it luscious).

So it was an experience you are looking forward to repeating?

[wlhotwife]

Originally Posted by cocpl2007

So it was an experience you are looking forward to repeating?

Well not repeating exactly...that's where I'm a little hung up. If it were just me in a vanilla dating scenario, I would probably elect to remain "just friends" and keep the relationship out of the bedroom. There just weren't enough physical sparks for me.
But Mr. WL is very attracted to the other lady, (and I guess I am too) and definitely wants at least one more playdate. And we really do like the other couple and have a lot of fun with them. It is so hard to find another couple that we are compatible with on all levels.
I'm hoping that next time I will be more relaxed and comfortable to explore a little more, so it will be more enjoyable for me, sexually. If it's not, then we probably will move the relationship back to the just friends level, and move on. So now I'm nervous that my expectations will be too high again

[cocpl2007]

Originally Posted by wlhotwife

. So now I'm nervous that my expectations will be too high again

As one who has been in that very same place, this is what happened. We had several more playdates. As things worked out, and being very flexible, we ended up with some FMF play with the wife of the couple, then there were some MFM with him and DW, and one Hotwife date. It seems that we all had exhausted the exploration, and the relationships moved on.

They are a couple you already know. While it may not have been a "hot" as you anticipated (it seldom is on the first encounter), it was enjoyable. Explore it for what it is, and if you can overcome the negatives it just may evolve, like ours did, into some very memorable play.

Good luck, and keep us in the loop.

Mr. Co

[OhioCouple4Real]

First time was a MFM I set up for her with a buddy of mine...he sort of folded under pressure (although she was able to get him to cum in her mouth even with a semi hard-on). First actual time at a club after months of discussion we hooked up with an awesome couple, very nice folks, the gal an amazing catch for a first time couple too. Long story short, we all had a great time but after the gal gave my gal her first ever girl licks, she swung under and they 69'd for an extended session, both of them cumming several times as her man and I watched and participated as we wished (we did stay to our own that night except for some gentle touching of the tasty bits though). It was an awesome evening with no issues of any sort.