First Experience Story and Questions

[K&JIntimates]

I didn't know where to post this. I'm sure there is a place for first experiences but I had some questions and felt that the story was pertinent to obtaining answers.

Our local club was hosting a little game. We were all given a playing card and the point was to find your match during the evening to win prizes. I love ‘party games’ so was excited to play. This little game turned out VERY well for us.

While we were visiting with our friends and talking to a couple that we’d just met I was looking around the room looking to find people that I hadn’t already approached about their card number. (You’ll see I was determined to win!) I noticed a couple at the bar that I hadn’t seen previously. This couple was hard to miss; the woman was very tall with northern European features. This made me curious about them (along with a strong feeling that I should go over and talk to them).

I’ll interject now that I’m not exactly vertically challenged. I’m nearly 6 foot tall in an environment where the median height for a female is 5’5”.

The bar fills up a little bit and I tell K that I’m going to scout out our card number. (This also offers the perfect excuse to engage them in conversation.) I start asking couple about their number, small talk a minute or two and then move on. Finally I get to the couple I was watching. I ask them about their card number and the Husband immediately begins engaging me in conversation. I can’t recall exactly what was said in this exchange. (After finishing off half a pitcher of Sangria and having a glass of wine in my hand, I was feeling pretty good.) Anyhow, it ended up that I invited J & S to join K & I and our friends.

We start talking, they ask if we’d come to the club a lot. We explained that this was our third time. They were curious if we’d done any ‘swinging’. We told them we had not. This was their first time to a ‘lifestyle’ club and they weren’t sure what to expect. (Which was ok because neither did we.) The evening progresses, we dance with them and spend a lot of time talking. Some of the things we talk about are what brought them to the club, how were they hoping the evening would turn out, and what fantasy was it that they had in mind to fulfill. This is where it got very interesting (IMO). Turns out that J’s fantasy was to see his wife S with another man. I asked her if this was something she wanted too. I got the impression that she was both intrigued and nervous about the prospect. I told her that it was interesting that he wanted to see her with another man because one of my fantasies was to watch K have sex with another woman. (What was the chance that we’d run into another couple with the converse fantasy? Several things are ironic here. Similar fantasy, the fact that I had teased K all this last week about giving him over to another, and that I had told him that if a woman expressed interest in him at the club then he should follow up on it.)

This opens up the conversation up even further. Looking back on it I think J’s reasons for wanting it were a little less straightforward than mine. He asked why I wanted to see K. For me it’s simple, it’s a turn on to think of him giving and receiving pleasure and gratification from another woman while I’m watching. It affords me an opportunity to see him in a way that I can’t normally. J indicates that I could do more than just watch K if I wanted to. This is where I bluntly told him, “No, I can’t.” I explained whenever K and I have had sex where mirrors are involved the same thing happens. I go from participatory to observatory the moment I allow my attention to drift to the mirrors around us. K has gotten used to this and it doesn’t bother him to know that I just went from 100% attention on him and on our lovemaking to 10% because I’m trying to see!

Besides, it’s my fantasy and if I’m going to have an opportunity to fulfill it then I really want to get the most from it. I want to watch without distraction. <<Didn’t say this although I did think it.

At this point K and I are aware of the direction this evening is taking but we decide to wait until they invite us to join them in a more private area. We had already talked about such a scenario and knew how we felt about it but we didn’t feel that they had done the same and wanted to take things at their pace.

After dancing some more we go to an area where we can sit down. K is rubbing my feet and I’m massaging S’s neck and shoulders, J is rubbing her feet and we can tell that he’s anxious and eager. He talks with S for a moment while I’m massaging her and then asks K and I if we’d like to go with them into one of the private rooms for a little massaging and touching. We agree and we all go into the back.

They join us in the shower (hygiene is important!) and we talk a little more there. I can see that S is looking K over, very subtly but she is. (I would too if I was thinking about having sex with someone.)

We go into a room (with mirrors ) and begin a little massaging and touching. I invite K to caress S’s soft skin. They ask about our boundaries (no penetration-me) and tell us theirs (no kissing). J & S engage in some kissing and caressing, K & I do likewise, K is between my thighs and J & S are caressing my breasts, I’m feeling good.

We break apart and S & K are kneeling in front of each another touching one another. K is caressing her breasts and kissing her shoulders, she’s running her hands over him. J & I move over to the side and are watching them. K lays her down and starts kissing her body. He kisses and sucks on her breasts. She’s getting excited, he’s taking his cues from her reactions. K starts kissing S between the legs. I can tell that she’s really into K and S starts stroking and caressing his cock while he’s giving her oral. J asks if he can touch me and I’m getting turned on so I agree. J starts touching me and I’m a little moist at this point. Seeing K pleasure another and knowing in part how he was kissing and licking her was warming me up. S begins losing herself and I can see that she’s close to reaching orgasm. I can tell that K senses it too and adjusts for her. She cums and K eases off and follows through by licking her softly.

At this point J is getting a little weird. He was halfway aroused while K was kissing S but the minute she got close to cumming he stopped touching me and I noticed tension in him.

S asked K if she could suck on him and he answered yes. She asked J and J said he’d prefer that she didn’t. That was fine with us. While I would have liked to have seen that, and K would have enjoyed it and S wanted to it was still okay. During this little pause K started to soften up some I know what was going through his mind and he confirmed (all of) this later when we talked. He was thinking, are they okay, do they really want to continue, do I really want to cross this line. I think that J nearly put a stop to all of this but S really wanted to have sex with K and she was very eager to keep going. J asks me if K is ready to have sex. (I did not care for how he stated this because the way he said it came across like he was considering my husband as a piece of meat and I didn’t like it.)

Once it was confirmed that S wanted to keep going I started to suck K back into a fully aroused state after confirming that we were ok. S lays down and K begins warming her back up. In both our minds we were thinking that it was pretty arousing to be like this. Me sucking him and him licking S. When I saw that K was good to go I rolled a condom on him and went back to watching.

I asked J if he was ok and he reassured me that he was. K licks S and lays on top of her, he kissing her breasts while he starts to enter her. (We’ve been married 8 years, I know him intimately and knew how he was entering her.) I’m getting really excited. K starts thrusting and S is really excited and she’s got her hands all over him and is grabbing is ass thrusting up to meet him.

I asked J if S makes noise during sex and he tells me that she’s pretty quiet. (I know this did not help things with him) Right after he finishes telling me S starts moaning rather loudly and she's well on her way to a good O. I’m watching how she’s moving and I see what K is doing in response. I’m getting hotter because I know how he feels and it was just arousing me to see S really, really enjoying. S grasps J’s arm while she’s writhing under K.

S reaches climax and K follows her, he continues to kiss her shoulders and breasts while she’s calming down. I know this sound ridiculous but I was so proud of him. K was attentive, passionate, and considerate in all the right measures. S really enjoyed and she was so into him that I was proud that he gave her a good experience. He withdrew and we shared a kiss where I could taste S on his lips, he asked me how I was, I put his hand between my legs so he could feel how I was.

I didn’t want to be rude but I really wanted to get K alone. I wanted to hear all about it and I wanted him to give me release. We excused ourselves (politely) and went someplace where it could be just us. He fucked me while he told me about how S felt, what he enjoyed, how S’s responsiveness fueled his desire. It was really exciting. The whole rest of the night and ALL of Sunday I was aroused thinking about the experience. I felt closer than usual to K, a heightened sense of intimacy, I wanted to show him by coming together physically. We had sex more times in a two day period than we’ve had in years. I’m aroused now, writing this!

So that’s the good parts of experience. I do feel obligated to talk about some of the other things K and I noticed and maybe some of the experienced members can help shed a little light on them.

When S reached climax while K was giving her oral J not only stopped touching me but his state of arousal decreased significantly.
I got the distinct impression that J might have stopped the whole thing if S hadn’t really wanted to keep going.
J told me when K & S and finished that it wasn’t as arousing as he’d thought it would be.

K and I left them alone not only because we wanted to be with each other but also because we felt that they needed a little time to reconnect.

When we met back up with them (about an hour later) there was a distinct tension coming off of J. K and I both noticed it. S looked like she was taking her cues from her husband. She wasn’t tense but she was reserved. We felt a little bad because they told us that they’d walked around the club some (presumably looking for us). We assumed that they had sex after we left but we weren’t there so don’t really know. They both seemed a little taken aback to find out that the reason why we weren’t about was because we were having sex with each other.

These are the things we noticed and we wondered if this was normal for this kind of situation or if there was anything we could have done differently to ease any anxiety from the other spouse?

[LFM2]

First of all, Congrats on your first experience! It's so freakin' cool, isn't it?

After reading this, I don't think there was anything you guys could have done to prevent the aftermath of this. I think this falls on the other couple and they own the bad feelings. I believe, from what I've read, they weren't quite as prepared as they thought they were. Especially, the male. He seemed to have it all together at first and then he waned. I wondered if they hadn't done enough talking of what they wanted to happen and feelings associated with it. After all, it was their first time. I'm also wondering if the other male was wondering if he was an inferior lover because he couldn't get those little sounds out of his wife like your husband could. Right there, I think he was uncomfortable with his own feelings of jealousy, inferiority maybe, with a little regret mixed in.

I don't think there was anything you guys could have done to make it better. It does make me wonder though if J didn't take S to task for having such a good time and making him feel like a dud. I don't know why else she'd be so reserved instead of elated that she'd given him a good time and if they were in sync, he would be happy that his wife had a great time as well as K. I don't know...

You and K sound so much like Dave and I. This is my one fantasy that I want to see before either one of us dies. I want to see him once with another woman having the time of his life. I just want to watch the whole thing without distraction. We've been with plenty of couples, but I'm usually so busy with my partner that I don't have time to watch him.

I could be very off base here. (I usually am) but there is my $0.02.

[JustAskJulie]

I think perhaps this is a case where the reality of the experience just did not live up to the fantasy he had in his mind of watching his wife with another man. I've seen this many times when guys claim to want to see their woman with another woman... in reality what they want is a threesome where they are involved. I think perhaps he didn't enjoy feeling a bit left out (admittedly your attention was more on his wife and your husband - and their attention on each other).

Then following all that up with the seperation, they may not have really understood why you excused yourself and felt that there was a bad feeling on YOUR end that led to your leaving the room. The only thing I think could have changed this some would have been for you to stay in the same room a bit longer and allow your husband to get you off with them still there and hopefully they would have followed suit. This would have made it difficult for him to really share with you how it all felt to him, etc, tho and in the end you have to do what works for you.

There are many misunderstandings that happen in situations that lead to awkwardness that we really can't do anything about unfortunately. We've had similar situations where there were just small misunderstandings that have led people to get bad feelings and assume things that weren't there.

[Dynamar]

Nice write up on what sounds like a very fine experience--with both pros and cons--for your and your husband. Congratulations on having your s*** together... talking about and clarifying your desires to one another, and taking time after the scene played out to go have sex with each other.

That being said, as long as you were respectful to the other couple (and by your description, you seemed very accommodating)... they need to own their own s***. As others have noted, it sounds like they didn't quite have their stuff together the way that you did. Hopefully, they have learned some lessons about themselves and their own desires, and it also sounds like they had a good example to follow if they paid attention to the two of you.

[K&JIntimates]

Originally Posted by LFM2

I'm also wondering if the other male was wondering if he was an inferior lover because he couldn't get those little sounds out of his wife like your husband could. Right there, I think he was uncomfortable with his own feelings of jealousy, inferiority maybe, with a little regret mixed in.

K and I both have reason to wonder about this same thing. We both noticed during the evening little things. I'm not a man but I can imagine that if you came into that kind of a situation without considering the possibility that someone else might be able to dial your wife's number the same or better than you that it can't be good on the ego. I think you're right and he had a lot of conflicting emotions.

[K&JIntimates]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Then following all that up with the seperation, they may not have really understood why you excused yourself and felt that there was a bad feeling on YOUR end that led to your leaving the room. The only thing I think could have changed this some would have been for you to stay in the same room a bit longer and allow your husband to get you off with them still there and hopefully they would have followed suit. This would have made it difficult for him to really share with you how it all felt to him, etc, tho and in the end you have to do what works for you.

When K and I left them alone, not only did we get the sense that they needed a little time but they also indicated that they'd like a little space. (It was clear that J wanted to reconnect with his wife.) We parted company warmly. I kissed both of them, K was respectful and careful to not put too much attention on S, he asked if they needed us to bring them anything (like water or condoms). We locked the door behind us and I didn't think that we'd done anything rude.

I think that perhaps we could have made it a little more clear that we were going to go do a little reconnecting ourselves. (ie. we might be gone for awhile) But we didn't really know that they'd finish ahead of us.

This was our own inexperience showing.

We had another reason for leaving. We felt that if J was having any feelings of inferiority it probably would not have helped if K brought me to orgasm in a short space after doing the same thing for S. We realize these feelings are not ours to deal with but we were trying to be sensitive.

[K&JIntimates]

Originally Posted by Dynamar

Nice write up on what sounds like a very fine experience--with both pros and cons--for your and your husband. Congratulations on having your s*** together... talking about and clarifying your desires to one another, and taking time after the scene played out to go have sex with each other.

Thank you. It seemed appropriate to share both sides of this coin. K and I really got a lot out the experience. (If I can get all the kids to sleep we might get a little more out of it tonight.)

Originally Posted by Dynamar

That being said, as long as you were respectful to the other couple (and by your description, you seemed very accommodating)... they need to own their own s***. As others have noted, it sounds like they didn't quite have their stuff together the way that you did. Hopefully, they have learned some lessons about themselves and their own desires, and it also sounds like they had a good example to follow if they paid attention to the two of you.

Thank you, we tried very hard to afford them as much respect as we'd like to receive. This was our first time so we were also a little uncertain about proper protocols.

[realcplub2]

I am glad you and K were able to pull the positives out the experience.

Its a shame that sometimes, when you get what you are asking for, in thier case, they arent ready for it.. Which would apears to be the case with them.

Sometimes people find thier way into the lifestyle and arent mentally or emothinally prepared to participate. Seeing S, with different and clearly from your story, stronger reactions that he was able to illicit from S, pushed J's buttons.. The fact that they were just having thier first experiences as well, compounded the situation. It would seem he wasnt able to see the JOY, and the PLEASURE that S was experiencing, and be happy.. instead his one insecurities crept in.

So are we to take it that this was recently or a encounter from years ago?

[JustMrJ]

I'm happy to hear you had all your 'stuff' together!!! Congrats on the good time for you both.

It's a shame when couples have bad or uncertain feelings and can't communicate them well enough to each other to talk things out.

Personally, I EXPECT other men to be able to find my wife's 'buttons' better than I can. Then she can tell me what they did... and I can learn how to do it better.

Same goes for her... she said to me that when she watched me with our last 'hostess' that she was only jealous for a flash and that it wasn't so much of a turn on as it was a learning experience for her to watch. Later she asked if this or that pushed my buttons better or not as well as she did and what she could do to improve.

Gotta love an intelligent and logical woman who uses her emotions and doesn't let them 'use' her!

*HUGS* to you for your success and excellent handling of the events!

[K&JIntimates]

Originally Posted by realcplub2

So are we to take it that this was recently or a encounter from years ago?

This happened this last Saturday.

[K&JIntimates]

Originally Posted by JustMrJ

Same goes for her... she said to me that when she watched me with our last 'hostess' that she was only jealous for a flash and that it wasn't so much of a turn on as it was a learning experience for her to watch. Later she asked if this or that pushed my buttons better or not as well as she did and what she could do to improve.

Firstly, thank you for responding to my post. I enjoy reading yours. They are always intelligent, articulate, and educational!

I agree with your wife. I know in all probability we will encounter a woman who will just curl K's toes. If and when that happens I expect that I will either be there to see it or he'll give me a blow by blow so that I can try to do the same thing. Always room to learn how to please your spouse more completely!

[bendmeovernow]

well it seems that you did an okay job on handling there issues... i agree with the others that you and him did fine dealing with things and that the other guy prob didn't get what he wanted out of the deal. but that's not to blame on you and your husb.. you will find people that aren't on the same page and you just have to deal with it. but it sounds like you had a fun time and don't let the other cpl get you down.