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First Time Experiences Share your first experiences here... whether it was your first time, or just your first time in a new situation.

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Old 02-14-2008, 01:46 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Our first time tomorrow night...

Hi All,
First I'd like to say thanks to all who post on this site, as the info is great. My wife and I are absolute 'newbies' to the lifestyle. We visited SMI in the Palm Springs area in mid-January and although we did not swap, even though we were approached many times, we did have a GREAT time as exhibitionists.

Originally we had planned only a one night visit, but we had such a great time, and met some really fun people, we decided to stay another night...and boy were we glad we did. We ended up in the 'Play Room' on the round bed, albeit with each other, but the atmosphere was electric! Oh, and let me add that what we noticed was that 'swingers' as people are so much more unpretentious, open, and relaxed...that is so easy to make friendships. So not only sexually, but socially we had a blast! So much so that we may attend again later this month and for sure have reservations for March 21/22.

So fast forward to the present. With our interest in expanding our sexual boundaries, but not sure in what direction, we decided to do a bit of online searching for something closer to where we live (Santa Clarita, CA). We found a site http://www.swingwithnorm.com/ and after reading through it, figured 'why not'?

We signed up for the Saturday's (2/16) party in the Arcadia/Pasedena area. I called and spoke with 'Norm' about what to expect, numbers of couples, singles (M/F), ages, etc. He reiterated that the environment, while being a swingers party, it was still a NO pressure environment, and a great place to get started. Numberswise there are about 25 couples, 10 single males, and an undetermined number of single females signed up. The site is a 2 story Residence Inn. Any advice on what to expect would be greatly appreciated!

So...the wife and I, while being excited, are also very nervous about our upcoming evening. We are going through the process of establishing boundaries, code words, signals, etc. One of the most exciting things is actually talking over with your spouse and understanding what their fantasies are. It was quite a surprise to my wife to find out that I'd be quite turned on watching her have sex with another guy. MFM seems to be a big turn-on to a majority of men....guess I'm in that crowd.

Anyway, I feel we are lucky to have found this site, as the info has really put us somewhat at ease in as far as what to expect going forward. Seems the best advice is just to communicate with not only your spouse/partner, but with the other couples/singles of which you have an 'interest'.

Thanks again to all...and I will be providing an update to Saturday's party...for better or worse.

Scott & JoAnn

Oops...the subject line should read..."Our first time Saturday night..."

Last edited by Scott & JoAnn; 02-14-2008 at 02:03 PM.
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Old 02-14-2008, 01:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Our first time tomorrow night...

Welcome, Scott and JoAnn! Congrats on getting off to such a great start in the lifestyle! I hope you two have a wonderful time at your next party and that you continue posting here. This is a great place to seek advice, support, or just "hang out" with other lifestyle folks.

=)
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Old 02-14-2008, 08:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Our first time tomorrow night...

You have found the best place on the internet to find the information you are seeking, and it sounds like you are off to a great start. Have a great time this weekend!
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Old 02-15-2008, 06:08 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Our first time tomorrow night...

Welcome to the swingers board Scott and JoAnn. Its great that you guys are talking and making sound plans for a good time. Keep us informed.
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Old 02-15-2008, 08:17 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Our first time tomorrow night...

Just an update...ONE day to go! We are both excited, but nervous at the same time.
Any last minute advice?
We are planning on casual attire to show up in and then change to our 'sexy' clothes. Wife has 2 outfits...not much to them, but I am at a quandry as to what a guy wears. At SMI I wore nothing...can I do that tomorrow?
Also they open the doors at 8, close at 10 (after they let all 10 of the single males in). What time is best to get there? We were thinking 8:30, so that we could initiate come conversation and get a feel for some of the couples.
I don't want to walk in @ 10, not knowing anyone, and feeling wierd.
Advice?

Scott & JoAnn
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Old 02-15-2008, 08:22 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Our first time tomorrow night...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott & JoAnn View Post
Any last minute advice?
1. Have fun.
2. Go with no expectations.
3. Have fun!
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Old 02-15-2008, 11:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Our first time tomorrow night...

Hey U 2,

FYI, We attended a lifestyle party last week at the lifestyle mansion in Riverside. The place was awsome, classy, and the host were wonderfull. The best thing about it was couples only. You may want to ck that out.

Whatever you end up doing enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, and you both keep talking, talking, and keep talking. Some of the best things for us is talking about what went on when we were playing with others.
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Old 02-16-2008, 01:32 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Our first time tomorrow night...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott & JoAnn View Post
Any last minute advice?
We are planning on casual attire to show up in and then change to our 'sexy' clothes. Wife has 2 outfits...not much to them, but I am at a quandry as to what a guy wears. At SMI I wore nothing...can I do that tomorrow?
Check with the owner.

Quote:
Also they open the doors at 8, close at 10 (after they let all 10 of the single males in). What time is best to get there? We were thinking 8:30, so that we could initiate some conversation and get a feel for some of the couples.
I don't want to walk in @ 10, not knowing anyone, and feeling wierd.
Advice?

Scott & JoAnn
When you say they "close at 10", I'm assuming that you mean no one else is let through the door. 8:30 seems like a good time, it will allow you to find a place to sit/stand so you can notice everyone who walks in.


Have fun.


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Old 02-16-2008, 12:09 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Our first time tomorrow night...

We like to be there when the door opens so that we can get settled and watch who comes in. Have fun!
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Old 02-16-2008, 02:06 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Our first time tomorrow night...

Question still unanswered...

What do the guys wear, if anything at all, at a swingers party?
Should I be au natural? Towel? Hanes boxer briefs?

What says the guys?

What says the girls? (What turns you girls on?)

Scott & JoAnn
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Old 02-16-2008, 02:12 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Our first time tomorrow night...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott & JoAnn View Post
Question still unanswered...

What do the guys wear, if anything at all, at a swingers party?
Should I be au natural? Towel? Hanes boxer briefs?

What says the guys?

What says the girls? (What turns you girls on?)

Scott & JoAnn
I would check with the club's website or give them a call. At the meet and greets/parties we've attended thus far, the guys dress either with the theme or slacks/jeans and polos/buttondowns. Wear whatever undies you're comfortable with.

What turns me on is guy who is clean, well groomed, and has a great attitude.

=)
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Old 02-16-2008, 02:44 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Our first time tomorrow night...

Well, it's not exactly a 'meet and greet'...

http://www.swingwithnorm.com/faq.html
Here's what it states for attire:

Appropriate attire for women - Lingerie, negligee, teddies, 2 piece bathing suit, total body fishnet, thong outfit, or a sexy bra and panties are appropriate. You may also, at your desecration, run around in your birthday suit.

Appropriate attire for men - Boxer shorts, a wrap around towel that you bring, men's thongs or butt huggers, or your finest pair of Hanes. You may also, at your desecration, run around in your birthday suit. We encourage the showing of ' wood '... If you got it... flaunt it !!

My question is which of the options is, in your opinion, best?
What do the guys prefer? What do the ladies like to see?

As for myself, I think a lady in a skimpy and suggestive outfit that leaves something to the imagination would be a turnon. But what turns the ladies on?

Scott & JoAnn
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Old 02-16-2008, 02:49 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Our first time tomorrow night...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott & JoAnn View Post
Well, it's not exactly a 'meet and greet'...

http://www.swingwithnorm.com/faq.html
Here's what it states for attire:

Appropriate attire for women - Lingerie, negligee, teddies, 2 piece bathing suit, total body fishnet, thong outfit, or a sexy bra and panties are appropriate. You may also, at your desecration, run around in your birthday suit.

Appropriate attire for men - Boxer shorts, a wrap around towel that you bring, men's thongs or butt huggers, or your finest pair of Hanes. You may also, at your desecration, run around in your birthday suit. We encourage the showing of ' wood '... If you got it... flaunt it !!

My question is which of the options is, in your opinion, best?
What do the guys prefer? What do the ladies like to see?

As for myself, I think a lady in a skimpy and suggestive outfit that leaves something to the imagination would be a turnon. But what turns the ladies on?

Scott & JoAnn
Okay, now I've gotcha'! For the guys, I'd say boxers or boxer briefs unless you're totally comfortable being naked.

For the ladies, I'd say the negligee or bra and panties unless you're totally comfortable being naked.

Personally, I like having something to take off/be taken off.

=)
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Old 02-16-2008, 03:36 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Our first time tomorrow night...

I love those boxer briefs with the "pouch". It really accentuates the woody.



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Old 02-16-2008, 03:42 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Our first time tomorrow night...

That's what I'll start off with...we will see how long they stay on

Scott & JoAnn
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