Trip report - first house party

[tittietwister]

Hello,

Him again posting another true newbie encounter.

We played with our first couple prior joining this board. We met once for a very enjoyable dinner and then played on the second date. I won't go into the details on that one but suffice to say it ended poorly. My wife's partner could not perform due to blood pressure meds and I couldn't keep it up due to performance anxiety. My wife reacted poorly to the situation and her partner took it very personally. His wife later become nasty about it despite our many apologies and complete acceptance of blame. In hindsight though, my wife admitted that she agreed to play when she didn't really want to as she wasn't physically not attracted to him. Had she said no instead of yes the whole sitution would have never happened. Lesson learned is say what you mean and mean what you say.

The second date was yesterday evening with a couple I had chatted with for months and become very friendly with. We had a dinner meeting with them several weeks ago and things went great. Conversation was animated and there was a good bit of groping. We had already agreed not to play that evening. We later made a date to play but suddenly my wife got cold feet and we backed out, apologizing with every step. We remained chat buddies although not as frequently as before. When my wife decided she was ready to play I invited them out, dinner and drinks on us, and then to a hotel to play. They had other plans. Then last week we got a short fused notice that they were available to play Friday night. I was very happy as I really do like this couple and wanted a long-term relationship with them where we do many things together.

I was still nervous about meeting though as I am haunted by my failure to perform with our first couple. That combined with a pathological shyness prompted me to take Cialis, Dostinex and Yohimbe prior to leaving for the dinner. I figured I was a one man orgy. I had tested that combination with my wife and it worked great with her.

So we go out to dinner at the same place as before. We have another fun time and I pick up the tab. More groping and the girls got nice and loose with some drinks. I limited myself to one drink just to be social as I know alcohol is bad for erections but with all the rocket fuel I had in me I thought I could have one lousy drink.

Dinner is over and we head over the hotel. My GPS gets us lost - more stress. We finally meet them in the lobby and I sign in as they had already done. Everyone is cool and making jokes. My nervousness continues to rise anyway. I figure no worry - the meds can compensate.

We're on different floors so we part company and head to our rooms. I could feel something wasn't right. The passion had disappeared. I still liked the lady very much but I didn't feel sexy. Kissing I thought - that will fix it. She was a fantastic kisser and I do love that. Finally I feel a rise. We then start undressing and kiss some more - really good feelings now and hardness is kicking in. I'm home free.

She goes down on me. She is really good at it. Deep throats like nothing. She says she just loves to suck cock. I think she wants me to come but I can't - I'm always thinking a lady won't like no matter what they say. Then we go back and forth with eating each other, kissing, and playing in different ways. Her husband had previously told me I had to use a condom because she was fertile so I brought some along. I was worried about being able to perform with one but I figured that would be a plausbile reason if I couldn't perform as I haven't used one in over 30 years. As we're playing for longer and longer I notice my erection is getting softer. Panic starts to build. The she puts me inside her without the condom. Another puzzle to work on. Why did she do that? She previously told me she cried all the way home on another occassion when a condom broke so why would she putting me inside of her and risking worse? All this thinking combined with the panic from the fading erection resulted in a complete loss of the erection while she is on top riding me like a cowboy on a bucking bronco. She goes down on me to try to revive the stupid thing. It works briefly and then she reinserts only to have my thing die again. At this point I want to call Scottie for an emergency beam out. I decide I have to make the best of bad situation and go down on her again with the intent of making her cum. I've got to do that to save any face at all. It was a mighty struggle but finally she cums. Shortly thereafter the closest thing to an emergency beam out occurs - her husband calls wanting to know if we are done as he and my wife are. They are coming up and shortly it is over.

My wife and him have had a great time. I later learn that she made him cum twice, that he was very good, had a nice dick, good body and they also liked each other as people. That's about all my wife volunteered. My narrative is not just about me because I like writing about me. She just didn't communicate much back to me because she was a little angry at me for taking so long. She didn't realize the situation I was in and that I couldn't think of a way out.

We part company and everybody is still acting lovey dovey. We decide to spend the night at the hotel. After they leave I collapse mentally. I can't believe I have failed myself and the rest of them so miserably. I'm also a little upset at what I perceive as the lack of support for me on the part of my wife even after she learns of my experience. It's really my lady friend that I feel the worse for as she had some self-esteem issues herself although I found her perfect just the way she was.

When we returned home this morning I called and made an appointment with a professional to help deal with these anxiety issues. I realize that I have always had a social anxiety disorder and swinging has made it impossible to evade as I have in the past. I am also very goal oriented which is fine for business but doesn't work in the bedroom where the process is to be enjoyed.

I truly regret this happening to this particular couple as I saw in them the possibility for a real light-poly kind of relationship - my ideal. I sent both of them separate emails. I thanked him for the great time he gave my wife and apologizing to them both for my failure. I haven't received a reply even though I can see they have been on-line. Is a simple acknowledgement
too much to ask?

I don't know what the future holds but I refuse to back out of this feeling less than a man. Hopefully with some help I can redeem myself. This is not about swinging anymore.

We have another first meeting with a couple on Monday. I called the female half today, was very honest about my performance issue and said that I was giving them the opportunity to cancel as I didn't want to waste their time. Her response - your mouth and fingers still work, don't they? Maybe there is hope after all.

As always, your kind comments and suggestions are solicited and welcomed.

S&D