we did it!! Wow but hmm...

[smpdjd]

So we did our first 3 some last weekend and it went really well. we learned a lot but… are not certain we want to do this again any time soon.... here’s how it played out..
We posted an ad on CL and filtered out dozens of horny deluded males all claiming to be all night lovers possessing 8 inch cocks etc. etc.. So we made our ad very specific and a little sarcastic to filter out the numb nuts males down to about 5 or 6 eligible guys.. all smart, educated, single and because my wife really wanted a specific kind of guy they had to meet some physical requirements.. i.e. she wanted a guy at least my height, over 40,white, blond, non buff, worldly, quirky, bi curious etc. fortunately we share the same taste in men or rather I should say I know what kind of men she's attracted to because I like the same kinds of guys..er.. hmmm.. Well you know what I mean..
We interviewed them all.. we liked 3 out of the 6 . The first choice had to leave town on business and the 3rd choice got held up in a meeting so we went with number 2.. really nice guy, mellow, clean cut, experienced and really attracted to my wife.. he told us everything we wanted to hear.. and we liked him a lot. She was nervous because she carries a few extra pounds and has a few stretch marks and she was afraid some guys might be turned off by her.. Actually the truth is she’s in great shape, no stick insect to be sure she’s rubenesque.. I told her that if the guy doesn’t like your body type then he isn’t the right guy..
But we had some ground rules that we had to work thru having never done anything like this before..namely that although it was originally my idea to do this I had never forced her into it and it took her a long time to come around to the idea of swinging but when she did it was like opening a Pandora’s box for her.. suddenly she felt so alive and sexy.. and it showed.. guys were hitting on her in public.. she started jogging again bought some sexy clothes.. I was a little nervous that maybe she'd take it too far.. as we've been pretty much happily married for a long time, 19 years to be exact, and have a very rich and passionate sex life.. but she was pretty wild for this. After our first meeting with the guy I noticed that she was too forward in her body language for my comfort. We had agreed that it should be really important to convey to our prospective partner that we are stable and secure and that this is about sharing our fantasy with another man and not us working out some dysfunctiona sexual neurosis..but my wife took is too far and I was pretty upset that night when we left the bar and she opted to walk with him and not me.. she didn’t even realize she was doing it..
We had a pretty intense discussion and I told her that if this was going to happen then she had to make sure she connected with me the whole time and that we all check in with each other and at any time if someone was uncomfortable they could hit the veto button..
A couple of days later we met.. had dinner with him and she sat between us..she made sure to hold my had and rub me under the table and she allowed him to rub her legs and flirt and it was fun..
So we went back to the hotel and she had decided that she wanted to make the first move on him.. it was very very sexy..i felt no anguish because she made certain to keep me involved and I encouraged her to have fun..which we did.. and even though the guy turned out to be a poor lover… it was amazingly hot. My wife is the most amazing lover I have ever had and to watch her cumming all over this other guy and then see that he didn’t know how to handle her.. he told us he’d never met a woman who can cum like my wife and seemed overwhelmed.. Nevertheless 2 hours later we were all still playing it was so unbelievably hot.. we made sure she and I kissed a lot.. I told her how much I loved her, stared into her eyes and she cried out my name over and over .. she literally couldn’t stop cumming for over 2 hours.. and this is when it got a little strange because this guy couldn’t cum.. I have heard this is common amongst western males and so he was going and going but not doing much else. Eventually I had a massive mind blowing orgasm then sat off to the side to relax and I started to feel a little uncomfortable because he was still going.
30 mins later I signaled to my wife that we needed to stop and for a few minutes this was uncomfortable as he didn’t want to stop.. my wife was kind of delirious at this point as any woman would be who’d just been fucked non stop by two horny guys..and so we lost our connection… not good for me and potentially a big problem but eventually I had to say pretty forcefully .. “this has to stop and you have to leave” he did and apologized that he couldn’t orgasm but said that it was a problem he was working on. So it was an awkward ending to an other wise great night and we want to repeat it but we think a couple scenario is a better way to go.
So to anyone reading this and thinking about swinging I’d say make sure the two of you are totally hot for each other, make sure you connect with each other the whole time. Make sure this is about fun and figure out how you’re going to end the evening… we have felt closer than ever before. We can’t keep our hands off each other and want to spend every minute f the day hanging out with each other and talking about that night and how to do things differently next time.
good luck

[prettylady]

You seem to be a very caring thoughtful husband.
I am glad that most of the night was good for you. Some guys do have trouble cumming and it can make for a long night if one of the participants is done but the other is not. Good for you to stop things when you were made to feel uncomfortable. I think that too often one lover will deal with thier issues though out play time only to feel like they made the worst mistake later and have problems with talking about the problem. Big kudos to you for keeping the lines of communications open.
I hope you are able to find a couple or individual that works well for you both.
Good luck in the future.
Oh and great advice about being connected. I love the connection Dog and I have had in swing situations. It is over the top wonderful
Your friend,
Prettylady

[dayhiker]

Hi smpdjd,
Thought I'd add a comment that came to me as I was reading for experience.
We are taught to focus on the once we are making love to. This most often is just one person. So sometimes it doesn't come natural to focus on more than one. Sounds like your wife will be able to focus on you and the other guy now that she is aware of this.

thanks for sharing your experience
dayhiker

[graygo98]

I hate to be the skunk at the picnic, but I think that you still have some major issues about your wife being with another man. Whether it is jealousy or insecurity I don't know, but something just comes through in your comments ... becoming upset that she was acting inappropriately by coming on too strong, for example. Hell, this is new to her and thrilling her half to death as well as scaring her pants off at the same time. She isn't going to have the same calm focus as Tiger Woods addressing the ball.

This doesn't make you a bad guy or anything.... this is pretty big stuff. And you don't have to put up with anything that makes you really uncomfortable. But before you bring another couple into the mix take some time to really understand why the two of you want to do this. And be prepared to let your wife explore her own sexuality in her own way, even if she is not behaving according to script. Or, do the other couple a favour and take a pass.

[wolfnblu]

I agree with graygo98. Were you the only one who wanted it to stop? how about your wife? how did she react? You said she was "delirious" so I wouldn't imagine she would be too interested in stopping. What has she said to you since then?