Our First Full Swap - Lengthy Synopsis...

[2jersey]

We’ll begin with the punch line: Saturday night we attended our first party and we fucked a young sexy couple who were complete strangers to us a few hours earlier. After 20 years of sexual monogamy, and one year of soft swinging – we are now a full swap couple – and regret is the absolute furthest thing from our minds. ‘Doing it again soon’ is the first thing on our minds.

What do we mean by soft swinging? For us, soft swinging has involved swapping partners for kissing, touching and oral. In other words, we had (until Saturday) established a key boundary for ourselves – we did not engage in intercourse with other couples.

Why no intercourse? Probably because we, like many people, had viewed intercourse as a manifestation of love – and limiting ourselves to soft activities was reassurance of the fact that there is a part of our personal relationship which is sacred, and off limits to others. Additional reasons: We felt we needed to educate ourselves on the topic of STDs - we haven’t used condoms is 20+ years. Also: We considered intercourse as an eventual possibility, but we felt that we would be better off if we first established a successful track record of soft swap activity.

What is a successful soft swap? We measured “success” according to how we felt after each of our soft swap encounters. We had heard about, read about (and witnessed) some of the problems experienced by new swingers who experienced negative emotions after sharing their partner with others. After each soft swap encounter - we shared our thoughts with one another in a very open and honest manner. We gradually came to realize that we were completely devoid of any negative feelings – no jealousy, no resentment, no drama whatsoever. In fact, the soft swap experiences seem to enhance our marital communications, and fuel our love (and desire) for one another.

Things were going perfectly? Well, in the midst of our incredible journey, we hit a slump. After several months of active swinging we decided to take a winter break and resume activity in the spring. Unfortunately, we couldn’t get back on track in the spring. We have no steady swing partners, and we went through a three month period during which we were not clicking with the couples we met online.

What changed? We got a lot of good advice from several members on this board (thank you). In essence, we realized that slumps happen to everyone, at times – but we may have been contributing to our slump in subtle ways. We decided we needed to make a few adjustments to our overall attitude and approach.

Why a swingers party? Based on the accounts of others, we realized that there might be advantages to thrusting ourselves into a room full of swingers. Although we decided to attend an on premises party, we weren’t committed to any specific agenda. Our general feeling was that we would ‘speed date’ a number of couples, and perhaps play - or at least make some promising contacts for the future.

And? Saturday, we checked into a hotel in NYC, a few hours before the party. We had thoughts about taking a nap to prepare ourselves for a late night – but we ended up having sex with each other instead (bad idea?).

And? We arrived at the party early (by NYC nightclub standards) and we began to mix and mingle. Nice crowd, lots of attractive couples – but also a few people who we knew from online and wanted to avoid.

And? We kept crossing paths with one particular couple who we had met on the way in the door. After a while, it became apparent that this couple was very interested in us - they were sexy and personable and we spent quite a long time talking. Our conversation became increasingly flirty, and the couple seemed undeterred in learning that we were soft swap oriented.

And? We gravitated into the play room was a sea of naked bodies. We staked out a double futon in full view of the entire room (gulp). Our clothes came off and the sparks started flying. For about two hours, we participated in every soft swap activity imaginable, in virtually every combination. The young lady (who had more than her fair share of orgasms – compliments of the Mr 2jersey) finally declared that she needed to be fucked. (gulp).

Time to switch partners? Well, we weren’t carrying condoms – don’t own them – haven’t used one in 20+ years. But, our eyes met one another and we knew… - quick conversation between Mr and Mrs 2jersey – and by unanimous decision – let’s full swap! Other couple applauds and then asks if we are sure. “Yes”!

And? The other couple had a spare condom, and… twenty minutes later we realized we had quite an audience, and we had put on quite a show. We even cuddled afterwards – tremendous empathy and affection. A great experience!

Bottom line? Making the leap from soft to full swap was the right decision, at the right time, with the right people. We have updated our online profile and we now consider ourselves to be a full swap couple. We hope to never skip over soft foreplay, but we now realize that full swap is a heck of a lot more fun than soft swap. We do not regret having progressed to full swap over a period of months – it worked very well for us.

Finally - We now fully realize that intercourse is not the sacred aspect of our marriage – our respect and love for one another is sacred - and swinging continues to strengthen these feelings in ways which we could not have imagined.

Okay - Our bed post is still along way from becoming a toothpick. Who wants to be next?

[AZ Dreaming]

Now THAT is the way to become a swinger!!!!

You moved slow, talked about everything and did what felt right at the right time!

I am glad you had a great experience. Thanks so much for sharing it with all of us. I think new people should read and learn from you two!




HMMM... how far do you live away again? Cuz we want to be next!! (I think hubby has some vacation coming. )

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

Finally - We now fully realize that intercourse is not the sacred aspect of our marriage – our respect and love for one another is sacred - and swinging continues to strengthen these feelings in ways which we could not have imagined.

Swinger site membership : 19.99
Slut wear : 300.00
Onsite Party: 150.00

Figuring out what your marriage is really about: Priceless.

(Oddly I don't think they will be using this one)

[sexyshelby]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Swinger site membership : 19.99
Slut wear : 300.00
Onsite Party: 150.00

Figuring out what your marriage is really about: Priceless.

(Oddly I don't think they will be using this one)

Well they should! I love it!

2J, thanks for sharing your story and glad that everything worked out for you two.

~SS

[Darkblue]

2jersey
You are describing us down to a "T" we are the same not got as far as full swop though, still a bit early for us but our soft swinging has brought us a lot closer and we can talk far more openly over everything.

I am sure that we will at some stage do a full swop but at the moment neither myself or my wife are upto this stage!!

So you have put one hell of a story on the forum and i take my cap off to you and yours!! brilliant to say the least!!


Steve

[DGrey]

Sounds like you had an amazing night!

Glad you were able to fully enjoy your first party and realize that it's not the act of sex that makes a marriage special or sacred. Sounds like you're headed in the right direction for more fun nights ahead.

E

[NandTfromCA]

That is so awesome 2Jers!

I'm sure there are many others, that have been where you were, that will get alot out of your insight.

It's great to hear of such a nice first experience!

[intuition897]

Boo-yah! This sucker is going on my favorites list! AWESOME post 2jersey. That one moment is simply amazing, when you finally realize where the real strength of your marriage lies. Suddenly you understand: NObody has the power to come between you, unless you allow them to. No matter how hard they try. Finding this out was one of the most empowering moments of my life.

[DBL D]

Male D Dito Flag!!!

Congrats 2jersey!

Male D

[Menage_a_Trois]

Thank you so much for post a totally POSITIVE view of moving into full swap.........You may possible help others get over the "vanilla" world expections of LOVE! LOVE isn't defined by physical act of intercourse but by the emotional connection we have with our significate other during that physical act.

The Other Mrs. Menage

[ANGEDKY(mr)]

What an awsome experience ! Isn't is great how the good stuff makes the not-so-great fade quickly in the rearview mirror? Again, good for you !!!

[Sweet_Candy]

Love the way you two reached your decision and your path sounds like it was an experience to be remembered. Good luck and happy swinging!

[mickey&minnie]

I am sooo glad I read this!!! My hubby and I have been reading here and talking for weeks about getting into the lifestyle. At the moment we are searching for a bi-female for me to have my first experience with then for me to get comfortable with her then share with my hubby then possibly share with her hubby. Thinking about a full swap at this time just makes me so nervous and scared. (catholic upbringing) It is so good to know that it is ok for us to take it slow and that there may be a time that I will feel comfortable with a full swap. I am so happy for you!!! I hope our experiences are as good. My hubby has been so great in talking to me and being patient. He wants to see me with another man, but we have decided to take it way slow and let me feel like I am in control by letting me get comfortable with a female first and for me to decide when we let the men join.Your story has eased my mind. Thank-you
Minnie

[2jersey]

Over the past few months, we have posted many times on this board, and we have started several threads. We have received feedback (positive and negative) on many of our posts/threads - and each is much appreciated. To us this board has been informative, entertaining, and inspirational.

Based on the reaction to this particular thread (some posted, and many via private message), we now have a sense that we are welcome here, and we may have actually helped others by sharing our personal experience. And for this feeling, we are very thankful.

[DBL D]

Ah geez 2jersey...you've always been on my top 500 list! Now where are those pictures!

I liked your attitude right away! I was very disappointed when you told us all that you were giving up. I'm very happy that you both have persevered and voila!....success!

You go girl!

Male D