We finally jumped in

[dreamer]

Originally Posted by easyliz

Just enjoy cleaning up afterwards. My husband does.

I'm trying, he doesn't like oral that much, and she almost always needs clitoral stimulation to cum so I'm there for that. Amazingly he has fucked her to climax twice.

I guess I was mostly concerned that she wouldn't see me as a man, because I see the state of ecstasy she's in being pounded by him, and on top of that, I'm cleaning up after him, I'm more concerned how she see's me. I think it's an alpha male thing. I was feeling like I was falling in the beta male category fast.

Kind of like she tasted ice cream for the first time, and she was realizing what she was missing all these years. It just feels wrong to ask her to give something up she enjoys so much.

[shygrrl]

I agree with Spoomonkey and NFA_n_Indy, I was just chicken and hoping someone else would say it.

It sounds like you're trying to be very accommodating to her and despite how nicely she said "suck it up and be a man" about your newfound insecurity, she needs to look past the lust for a second and discuss this with you. Not trying to rag on her or anything but there needs to be some compromise and it just seems like you're the only one doing it.

Hope it all works out for you!

shy

[JaneAndJohnDoe]

Originally Posted by dreamer

I guess I was mostly concerned that she wouldn't see me as a man, because I see the state of ecstasy she's in being pounded by him, and on top of that, I'm cleaning up after him, I'm more concerned how she see's me.

Hon, I'm worried about this, and I'll explain why...

It is crucial for us, as swingers, to never do anything we're uncomfortable with, for any reason. It only leads to didaster if you're doing something you're uncomfortable with, just for her sake.

Swinging is about MUTUAL pleasure, not one-way pleasure. Yes, you're partially pleased, because you enjoy seeing your wife pleased, but it sounds as if there are far too many issues here that you are being a martyr about, and that's what worries me.

You are NOT comfortable with cleaning up after him, so why do you do it? It seems to me that you're doing it because she makes you do it, and that will not lead to a healthy end for either of you.

If she loves you, and isn't a selfish person, then why isn't she listening to you about you being uncomforable with the cleaning up process? She should be concerned about your needs too, and if she isn't (I'm not saying that's the case here, as I am armed with little information about her feelings) then she needs to re-examine why she wants to swing.

It seems like you are being emasculated, and either she doesn't realize it, or doesn't care. But that isn't my concern here. My concern is why you don't seem to want to put your foot down about it.

If you are worried about becoming the beta male, that firmly establish your status as the alpha male by establishing your groundrules and don't back down from them. Stand up for your rights, and THAT is what will re-establish yourself as alpha.

And hey, now that I think about it, how safe is your play? Has he been tested? Clearly condoms aren't being used. Why?

[dreamer]

Originally Posted by JaneAndJohnDoe

Hon, I'm worried about this, and I'll explain why...

It is crucial for us, as swingers, to never do anything we're uncomfortable with, for any reason. It only leads to didaster if you're doing something you're uncomfortable with, just for her sake.

Swinging is about MUTUAL pleasure, not one-way pleasure. Yes, you're partially pleased, because you enjoy seeing your wife pleased, but it sounds as if there are far too many issues here that you are being a martyr about, and that's what worries me.

You are NOT comfortable with cleaning up after him, so why do you do it? It seems to me that you're doing it because she makes you do it, and that will not lead to a healthy end for either of you.

If she loves you, and isn't a selfish person, then why isn't she listening to you about you being uncomforable with the cleaning up process? She should be concerned about your needs too, and if she isn't (I'm not saying that's the case here, as I am armed with little information about her feelings) then she needs to re-examine why she wants to swing.

It seems like you are being emasculated, and either she doesn't realize it, or doesn't care. But that isn't my concern here. My concern is why you don't seem to want to put your foot down about it.

If you are worried about becoming the beta male, that firmly establish your status as the alpha male by establishing your groundrules and don't back down from them. Stand up for your rights, and THAT is what will re-establish yourself as alpha.

And hey, now that I think about it, how safe is your play? Has he been tested? Clearly condoms aren't being used. Why?

Sorry for the late reply, but this has been a busy week.

He's not a new aquaintence. She knows him well and, and her comfort level with his history is such that she feels certain about him being clean. It's just a judgement call you make in swinging, and the risk we are willing to take. We feel pretty certain of his character and history. He is newly divorced from a 9 year marriage.

Over the last week we've been talking quite a bit as you can imagine. As I said before her level of excitement is incredible when he's banging her. She has been cumming sometimes just with him penetrating her which I still can't get over. Watching her moan and whimper is amazing. Feeling her get wet when she knows he's coming over is very stimulating. She says it's not so much the length, but the length combined with his substantial girth. It makes me cringe inside, but obviously it's a turn on to me as she point's out by my erection that she's looking at when she's sitting on my face afterward while I'm giving her oral. She's right, it is incredible to see her like that, and it's even exciting watching his cock. She says I should join in, but it seems like I would be a third wheel. I will next time. I think I'm discovering I might have some bi tendencies. I find the thought of kissing a man the most repulsive thing I could engage in, however; his cock is very arousing to me maybe because it's so arousing to her. She made the comment after they were done in a very good natured way that he should just cum in my mouth, it's just going to wind up there anyway. I think the blood almost drained from my head when she said that, because I felt kind of dizzy. He said he certainly wouldn't have done this with us if he didn't have some Bi feelings in him, mentioning something like it could be a possibility. I'm thinking: Not! She did say one thing that made me feel better about licking his cum out of her. Just pretend it's hers. Sounds crazy, but it works. She gets white and creamy like that as well.

I told her about this whole alpha/beta thing I was feeling. She found that kind of amusing, as she is the one that wears the pants making a very high income in her profession, saying if there is an alpha anything among the three of us, it is her, the alpha female. She said I could choose to end it if I wished, but that she would like it to continue if I could get my head together about it, but that if it continues it would need to be a frequent regular thing because it wouldn't be fair to him to cut him back to once a month like I was suggesting. He would then have to go somewhere else to get his needs met, and if he did that, she would break it off all together because she wouldn't have any confidence that he would be disease free. He is monagamous to my wife at the moment and seems to have a very strong libido. I'm hoping it's just because it's the newness of the relationship and the frequency will taper off.

She was saying she certainly didn't marry me because of my penis size, that the size of a penis wouldn't even play a factor in who she wants to be with. She married me for all the right reasons, and penis size wasn't one of them. We spent awhile discussing our sex life. One of the reasons I married her is that she's honest to a fault. She admitted that my penis does nothing for her, but she really thinks it's cute, adoreable and very easy to give oral to. She thinks I give great oral especially after he leaves. She also mentioned I have been an angel over the last few weeks, and that this might actually be good for me. That's true, I've been going out of my way to not do anything that might upset her, not that I upset her alot anyway, but I've been making sure the house is spotless feeling like I need to prove my worth or something. She noticed that and laughed when she heard the reason, but she thought it was a good thing. I admit that it's pretty stupid.

I love her more than anything, and I don't want her to feel for 1 minute that she is missing out on something being married to me, especially sex with a decent cock! I just don't think I can take that away from her. I know she would feel like she's missing something when she's looking at my penis that barely breaks over 4 inches on a good day. I don't think I could take that kind of look. She glows after he's done with her, and I love to see her glow even if it bothers me more than a little that I'm not the one responsible for it. Her Vagina was loose before with little friction, and now that he's been there on quite a regular basis for the last three weeks, there is really no sensation for me in there anymore anyway. It really is just much more pleasurable when she lubes her hand and I hump it. Taking him away would leave her with only clitoral stimulation from me, her silver bullet, and dildos. She was resistent at first, but now she is more than willing to give this up for me, but I insisted that she continue as long as it's in front of me and I'm there.

[sereneiders]

For those who are giving advice to him, he's the paradigm of the cuckold lifestyler (look for the lifestyle in the web, the same story over and over, the same wording), he is LOVING this, and moreover he loves to have a place where to share all the details, even those that would be humilliating for someone else, and he even choose the words that have a "better" effect agains't his self esteem.

He's not asking for advice here, he's just trying the feeling he would have should he makes this even more "public".

He's hesitating because of the jealous feelings, but even those have a pleasurable thrill for him.

Am I wrong, dreamer?