First Experience

[allsafe411]

I am not sure where to place this thread, so I guess this area is as good as any. Wife and I had our first swinging - full swap - experience a couple of weeks ago. Even though we were very comfortable with the concept because we have had many discussions regarding the subject, I have to admit I was very nervous and the biggest reason for this feeling is that I have never "been" with anyone other than my wife, and I was afraid of how i would perform. Everything happened very quickly (in my opinion) long story short (my nervousness, my putting so much pressure on myself and with the alcohol consumption coupled with a disease called diabetis) I was unable to perform. Wife had a great time, lol, but I was so embarrised that I did not have a good time.

My question is have I lost all credability - when we return to the club, will we be shunned?

[curious49251]

Originally Posted by allsafe411

My question is have I lost all credability - when we return to the club, will we be shunned?

I'm pretty certain that you haven't lost any credibility with anyone who matters. This is a quite common event, don't beat yourself up. I would think that anyone here who is experienced has run into the same problem at some point.

We understand your situation...Last year, Hubby had an incident where he achieved a little too quickly. He still has a hard time facing the couple, even while they maintain that it was no big deal.

[bear_and_babe]

Don't beat yourself up over this. It happens to almost everyone in the lifestyle. Bear had a little trouble with our first experience. We were lucky though that the lady knew how to handle the situation. And we have been with this couple a few times since then.

We were at the club a few weeks ago, and I played with a man who I just had the feeling that he was not able to stay hard and I was right. But I think that was one of my best play experiences! What did he do to make it great? He focused all his attention on me. He would not let me do anything for him. He spent over an hour making sure that I was having fun. facelick In other words, there are more tools in the tool shed. And when someone at the club asked me if I had a good time, well, the smile on my face told all. But I never said that he could not stay hard. That is between me and him. So don't worry about people at the club. I would hope the lady in question would be descreet and understand that this was your first time.

[jennandjamesinm]

There are times I think that men have performamce issues, a first swing encounter would be one of them. I wouldn't worry about being shunned, it happens more often than you realize.

You mentioned that you have diabetes. James does also, and sure enough, if he drinks there is the potential for problems. He realized this, and rarely drinks now. Our thinking is that the playtime is WAY more fun than the drinking. You know that as a diabetic, you shouldn't be drinking alcoholic beverages, the sugar content in them is way too high. High sugar = bad circulation = limp member. Cut out the drinking, stick to Diet Cokes and have a great time.

Jenn

[The Big A]

It does happen...My wife and I had our first full swap experience this past Saturday night. While I performed with no problems the other male could not....He was very embarrassed but I tried to reassure him that it was ok. After everything was done he felt the same as you but I let him know that we WILL meet again and he can redeem himself.....

[allsafe411]

Thanks guys for all your help, support and comments. The couple did send us a note afterwards letting us know that they had a good time, so that did make me feel a little better. I know alcohol and diabetis do not mix, but was required to calm the nerves. The next time we go it is strictly Diet MtDew for me lol. Again, y'all are the best and I am so glad i found this board.

[lovedoctor]

Also, with diabetes being a disease which affects the circulation, and erection being a condition dependent on good circulation, you might consider asking your doctor for some Levitra. It just may help keep you in the game at a higher level! Let us know how it goes, and don't give up on it; you will get there!

[iowancouple96]

Don't beat yourself up over this. Actually we almost had our first full swap experience last night, but hubby suffered from the same ordeal. He was absolutely mortified. Even though the hubby from the other couple said he had the same thing happen the first couple of times. Definately nerves. So instead of proceeding, we all just agreed to try it again someother time
Hopefully you'll (and we) will have a better experience the next time! Good luck!

[N&G]

Sometimes I have problems performing but as far as I know nobody has shunned me yet. Sometimes general nervousness is a factor and after a few times things will change, besides as long as the guy can satisfy the woman through other means there shouldn't be a problem. Most women understand that men can't always perform and it's not an issue for them.

[WesternSwing]

allsafe411, don't worry about it. This has happened with us and other couples before for one reason or another. Alcohol, nerves, various meds, etc. Mrs. WS knows it is just that and has never been disappointed as long as other things work too. And as the other couple has become more comfortable it all starts working really well. As she sees it, it's the person, not just the penis.

Mr. WS