My First introduction to the lifestyle. (single male)

[Tterrific]

Well, it happened. I went to a couple's house up north for a few days, and was invited by MR. and Mrs. to join in playtime. Since I have been a good boy and doing my homework by reading here for a couple of months, I felt that I was ready for this very exciting adventure.

For me, it was the most wonderful experience to just shower Mrs. with tenderness and kisses and caressing while Mr. was doing his part of fore play. Mrs. was so hot and excited that she was simply chomping at the bit to have our fun. The trouble started when Mr. kept leaving the room for several minutes at a time, and Mrs. wanted him there to enjoy the fun. He kept saying that it was OK for me to do as I wished with her, but since she so clearly wanted him to be a part, I did not feel compelled to do much while he was gone. She told him several times what she wanted, but he just did not seem to understand how much his partner wanted him there. The first night ended up with them getting into a verbal fight, and everyone lost.

Night 2.
Well, we tried it again, after having what seemed to be the right communications; He & I, He & she, She and I, and finally all together. Again, the mood started off very hot with both of us pleasuring her in soft carressing and kisses. We got all the way up to where she was really enjoying having the both of us orally, and we were all about to pop with excitement. Guess what Mr does? Yep, he goes upstairs again. Another beautiful time shattered by Mr, all while she is being very vocal as to exactly what her needs and wants were.

I suppose that I just wanted to share this with all of you guys because I have learned that this group carries much wisdom in all of its members, and you could perhaps check me if I made errors in the situation. My take is Mr just doesn't hear his wife of 9 years. He say OK, but doesn't follow through on what he agreed to. That seems to be a huge shame. I felt really bad for the two of them, because they really wanted the very same things, but didn't have a clue as to how to share their wants and needs with their partner. I have known this couple for several years, and am confident that they will stay together, but I sorely wish that they could see the love that I see in them. Life would turn into something much more than work, kids, and the occasional diddle out of pure obligation. I am going to give them the site address, and hope for the best for them.

I really care about this couple and felt really special getting invited into their
private times. That part was wonderful, and will be the prime memory that I will carry about this experience. I could not have imagined how fulfilling it was for me to be a partaker in their sex life. It was something that I needed too;
You have to be able to give before you are able to recieve in the spirit of the gift. I am OK with that. At 52, I grew and learned. How cool is that? Giving totally for someone else's needs with mine not in the way. And it really feels good, in spite of the less than perfect ending.


PS
Thanks to many here who helped me go a notch higher on life's ladder. You guys and gals are great!

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Tterrific

Night 2.

I was going to say that this was your mistake... The fact that there even was a "night 2" after a verbal argument...

I'd have packed my duffle and drove home right then - leaving them to sort out their mess without getting me tangled up in it with them...

Until I read this...

Originally Posted by Tterrific

I have known this couple for several years

And honestly, I still lean towards maybe you should have gone ahead and called it a weekend. It is really disturbing when the single guy is listening to the wife better than the husband - not good at all.

I am sure they are fine folks, but this is ultimately a chink in their armor that you didn't need (or want, probably) to see.

Beware being in the middle of a domestic squabble. "Danger, Will Robinson."

Swinging is full of learning experiences. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself and managed to take that first step. Coming out of the experience with a little more wisdom and a "this is how I'll handle it in the future" type perspective is what will keep the lifestyle fun for you.

Spoomonkey

[JustAskJulie]

My first thought was to wonder if there wasn't something we were missing re: the husband. I can't help but wonder if he wasn't leaving because he was for some reason uncomfortable with things. Is this couple long -time active swingers? or was this something new for them too? Do they often play with singles? I just wonder if maybe he wasn't intimidated by the situation and uncomfortable so that he left, knowing that things really wouldn't continue without him. Either that or he just really wasn't comfortable watching her being pleased by someone else and couldn't handle it but at the same time he still really wanted her to have her pleasure, so he left the room thinking it would be best.

After the first night, you said you all talked, did he express at that time why he was leaving the room? I just really don't think it's an issue of he wasn't LISTENING to his wife, I think it was probably more likely an issue of he wasn't expressing his own feelings well enough.

[slolrner]

I was kinda wandering about the husband myself, but in a different way. Maybe his fantasy is to be a voyeur?

In any case he sure handled it wrong. If that were the case, competing fantasies then one of them could have at least explained the situation to you.

I agree with Spoomonkey, you should have packed up the bags and took the first train out of town. It is something they need to settle between them.

When I was in grad school I often visited with a couple who were very good friends of mine. He was always doing the same thing, leaving the room, pretending to fall asleep you name it. Now I was so dense I wasn't picking up the clues, finally the wife let me know that he just wanted to watch, but wanted to appear not to be aware of what was going on. I never got very comfortable with that, but they are still dear friends I see at Christmas almost every year.

[Tterrific]

Thank you all for your pearls of wisdom. You all hit on a partial explination with this one. I did, in fact, leave early from my visit. This visit was in another state, so I couldn't just go all that easily on a moment's notice. Also, since they have been friends for years, I wanted to give them all the lattitude possible. They have swung on several occasions, it was my first. The more I think about it, I believe Mr really wanted for me to take the reins while he watched. Most of the trips upstairs were for a drink, ice, whatever..........and he kept telling me that it was OK to proceed without him. He probably wanted to come down and "catch me" in the act.
That was likely his turn-on, but I was trying to honor both of them. Mrs however, wanted Mr to take the reins, as he has a tendancy to just go along without really voicing his real thoughts on a matter. I think that I see her as wanting him to be more assertive, especially in swinging. I got a positive e-mail from her, apologizing for their tiff, and extending an open invitation whenever I wished. Since I know this couple so well, I will just talk to both of them individually and simply ask what was what. I will probably get to the bottom of it without any problem.

Again, thank you all for your responses. I love this board!! Well, the folks on it, anyway!

[funn]

[QUOTE=Tterrific] The more I think about it, I believe Mr really wanted for me to take the reins while he watched. Most of the trips upstairs were for a drink, ice, whatever..........and he kept telling me that it was OK to proceed without him. He probably wanted to come down and "catch me" in the act.
That was likely his turn-on,


This could very well be what was going on. I know that's what I like to see and do. I like it when I get up to get a drink and come back to see my wife being smothered by other people. But then again, I could be wrong

[curiousagain]

Sounds like he is more into the voyeur thing and she is more into the threesome thing with her husband being one of the three.

I would think they need to have things worked out before you join in again.

[mmb]

Wow after reading that I need now I know their are things to learn.