"Rules" went out the window...

[michelle101]

Hi everyone, Mrs.101 here,
Mr. 101 and I had our first swing experience last week. Full swap, same room. We loved it, everything about it. I was surprised at how close we felt afterwards. Weird. We have no doubts in our minds about continuing on. Swinging Rocks!
When Mr.101 and I first began talking about swinging, one of the things we talked about in great length was anything we would feel uncomfortable with. Rules really. So we both new clearly what the other was uncomfortable with. Well, after this first experience the rules have changed drastically! It seems that we don't have many, if any, left. We were so at ease with seeing our spouse with another, that none of it seems to matter anymore.Such as same room only ect. A big part of my want to swing came from wanting to see Mr.101 with another woman. So although same room is still very high on my list of things I like, it isn't a given anymore. Anymore, listen to me, I sound like I have been doing this for years. There just doesn't seem to be any jelousy at all, which I think is what we were afraid of when we talked about these "rules". Now when we have talked about them, we both agree, pretty much anything goes. ( except pain, humiliation.) Our want to swing is no longer governed by stringent guidelines so soon in our adventures. We are both in agreement, but do you think this can be dangerous? Is this common? Did the "rules" change for you and your partner when you realized how good it made you feel. ( I haven't felt this sexy in years, if ever) or did you pretty much stick to your original plan? We love reading the board and have found it to be an invaluable tool for starting up in this lifestyle. Thanks to all. Mrs.101

[lovedoctor]

So tell us about your first encounter - how you met the couple, how did you plan this first adventure, will you be seeing them again, did you talk to them about how awesome you and Mr. 101 are feeling? We wanna know!

[lovefest04]

I think its very normal for you to change your rules and to find that your "fears" may have been unwarranted.

It doesn't really matter if its normal, although I believe it is, to change, you can do whatever you feel like.

Is it dangerous? As long as you two keep communicating as it sounds like you have then I'd say no. It seems that you're both open to the possibility that you may change you minds in the future and that's ok.

keep talking, keep enjoying and be flexible to change. Sound like you two have it down.

Oh and yea, we'd all love to hear the dirty details of your successful encounter.

Isn't it funny how we (swingers) always talk about the love and connection this provides, yet deep down we all want to hear about the juicy bits.

Congratulations

[good times]

Yep, this sounds real familiar to me. We had a bunch of rules when we first started but after our first few experiances we realized that most of them served no usefull purpose and usually just got in the way of the fun. We now have almost no rules and the ones we do have are almost all negotiable.

[cpl_n_ok]

Sounds like us.....we had several rules when we first started...but they didnt last long......

we don't have many now and things are GREAT


We personally dont play with couples who seem to have too many rules

from our experience too many rules=too many issues

but to each their own...



T & D

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by good times

Yep, this sounds real familiar to me. We had a bunch of rules when we first started but after our first few experiances we realized that most of them served no usefull purpose and usually just got in the way of the fun. We now have almost no rules and the ones we do have are almost all negotiable.

Dito

Our first time happened really fast. We had a day or two to discuss and plan for our experience. We came up with a million and one rules during those 48 hours too.

I think we broke them all in the first half hour except the condom rule.

[Jamie&Kieth]

Really can not remember any rules, we just did it and had fun. I think if we went to a cllub where we didn't know anybody really well then there might be some rules, but then maybe less fun.

[Saratoga]

Good for you! (I enjoyed meeting with you in Chat recently and Im impressed with your enthusiasm and openness and comfort level with all this...the only rules I maintained were about honesty; about avoiding hurting another person's feelings needlessly (ie, when you aren't attracted to your half of the other couple); and we always had a non-verbal signal to each other that meant we needed to stop, for whatever reason (no questions asked until later). You certainly bring a brightness to the Board!

[lostnwilds]

trying to rember if mrs lost and i ever had any rules

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

We had a list a mile long going into the lifestyle but like you after the first experience it was out the window! We "debrief" after every experience whether we play or not, to discuss what works and what doesn't. Just going to the club is an experience because of all the flirting and interaction with everyone so even if we don't play there is much to talk about the day and even week after. The sexual energy between us is explosive as well so there is just always a lot to talk about.

We have not what I would call "rules" necessarily since that sounds like someone telling the other "you can't do this". More of like you said, knowing what we are and are not comfortable with. We both like same room, not because of jealousy but because we do this to be together and see each other having fun. So that isn't really a rule just a preference. Make sense

Also, no matter what we keep each others feelings in mind so that there are no jealousy issues etc. We go out to have a great time, make friends and then hopefully find a couple or single that we both connect with. None of that will happen if we are inconsiderate of our spouse. We see so much drama at the club sometimes and it is usually one or the other spouse just doing their own thing and not caring about their partner.

So, rules or no rules the main thing is remember who you came with and who you'll go home with and a good night means a great connection between you the next day, week, month .......

Mrs Spoomonkey

[michelle101]

Hi everyone, Thanks for all the imput. Saratoga, you flatter me! I love writing on the board to get things off my chest. With the exception of mr101, there really isn't anyone to talk to about it. As you say here, All vanilla friends. Anyway, a few of you have asked to hear details about our first encounter, however, I have been asked not to tell and have to respect that. Sorry.
We are meeting another cpl for dinner this weekend. So maybe sometime in the near future, I will spill the beans. After all, you are all so generous with your beans. Thanks to all, Mrs. Michelle101

P.S. Mrs. Spoomonkey.... I loved the debrief session,very hot!

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by michelle101

P.S. Mrs. Spoomonkey.... I loved the debrief session,very hot!

Thanks They always are facelick Hope yours are too

Mrs Spoomonkey

[nwmifun]

We were very much the same way - we went into the whole swinging thing with rule after rule after rule. But it's funny how as time went on, a lot of the initial rules went out the window, but truth be told, some new ones came around, but not many. Like anything, you get more and more comfortable with it as time goes on.

[Saratoga]

Here's hoping you had an wonderful weekend encounter. I'm sure all of us would love to hear about it, Michelle101.

[SoulmatesNky]

Great!!! We started with a list of written rules... but as time went on we only kept a couple. I believe it is the tendency of new to the life always creates a bunch of rules out of fear.

We are now in a relationship with a totally new couple and we are watching them go through some issues and watching them make rules and then break them... I believe if the couple doesn't begin to relax then "danger Will Robertson". Oh, worse rule I ever heard of was "Husband will not orgasm with other partner... all the intercourse he wanted but no orgasm."

OUCH

Soulmates