First threesome, now husband has regrets...

[HotMoCpl]

Sex? Its God's way of letting us taste heaven! Oh, I forgot......

[YZF]

I am new to this (hell my girlfriend and I are only in the talking about it stage) but a while back I got involved with a couple. I had just been paroled and was working at a gas station and a great looking hispanic woman was a regular customer there. She was kind of turned on by my waist length hair, tattoos and prison muscles.

She came around often and flirted quite a bit. She was pretty honest with her husband about everything and told him she was was very attracted to me. Her husband had been trying to talk her into a threesome with another guy for a while so he jumped on this. Told her that if I was willing, they would have a threesome with me.

She kind of sprung it on me (I had not gotten laid in six years because of prison) so I ws more than willing. When we got together a few nights later, my enthusiasm later became a problem. She blew us both, we hit her at both ends (one in the mouth, one in the honey pot) and switched often. He was quickly done. I was ready to go again.

He had to work early so he decided to go to bed. This was at a motel with two beds so he took the other bed and told us we could just play with out him. This girl was great looking and since my last woman had been over six years before I could not get enough. I was read to go after a 10 minute break, I would put her through her paces. I would get off and 10 minutes later, I was ready again. When he got up to go to work, we were still at it. He joined in once and then we went our seperate ways.

We got together once more and again, he was done early while she and I fucked for several hours. After that he never joined in again, though he "said" he did not mind if we go together on our own. We would get together a couple of times a week and spend a weekend together from time to time. Their marriage started a pretty quick slide and crashed a few months later.

I think it came down to performance issues. I guess he did not realize that as someone who had gotten NO pussy in a long time, I was going to be ravenous for some.

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by YZF

I am new to this (hell my girlfriend and I are only in the talking about it stage) but a while back I got involved with a couple. I had just been paroled and was working at a gas station and a great looking hispanic woman was a regular customer there. She was kind of turned on by my waist length hair, tattoos and prison muscles.

She came around often and flirted quite a bit. She was pretty honest with her husband about everything and told him she was was very attracted to me. Her husband had been trying to talk her into a threesome with another guy for a while so he jumped on this. Told her that if I was willing, they would have a threesome with me.

She kind of sprung it on me (I had not gotten laid in six years because of prison) so I ws more than willing. When we got together a few nights later, my enthusiasm later became a problem. She blew us both, we hit her at both ends (one in the mouth, one in the honey pot) and switched often. He was quickly done. I was ready to go again.

He had to work early so he decided to go to bed. This was at a motel with two beds so he took the other bed and told us we could just play with out him. This girl was great looking and since my last woman had been over six years before I could not get enough. I was read to go after a 10 minute break, I would put her through her paces. I would get off and 10 minutes later, I was ready again. When he got up to go to work, we were still at it. He joined in once and then we went our seperate ways.

We got together once more and again, he was done early while she and I fucked for several hours. After that he never joined in again, though he "said" he did not mind if we go together on our own. We would get together a couple of times a week and spend a weekend together from time to time. Their marriage started a pretty quick slide and crashed a few months later.

I think it came down to performance issues. I guess he did not realize that as someone who had gotten NO pussy in a long time, I was going to be ravenous for some.

In defense of all the newbies that will read the thread in the future I have to say that your assessment of the demise of their marriage is wrong, and stinks of the "I banged her better than her husband" attitude that sinks 90% of single guys trying to get in the lifestyle.

Their marriage did not split up because her husband was inadequate in the sack and you were better. There were things going on behind the scenes you don't even know about. The swinging may have hastened the demise of the marriage because it was new ammo to use against each other along with their other issues, but it did not cause it.

We know a couple where she plays solo and he doesn't. Her sex drive is more than one man can handle, and he is never lacking for sex. Believe me, whatever her fuck-buddies get, he gets 10X better and more often. But he will say sometimes "you need to find another FB". BUT she has a very clearly defined sense of sex with someone she loves and her FB's. It wouldn't matter if he could never have sex again, she would stay married to him until the end of time because there is that emotional connection between them that nobody else will ever have with her. Their relationship is way beyond being defined by sex, which is what prevents so many from being able to swing. And I think is the reason for so many divorces. When the sex starts to wane after years of marriage there is nothing else left that binds them other than maybe codependence.

Successful swinging couples can swing because their relationships are much more than just built upon ,or defined by, the sex they have. There is much more substance to who they are individually and together.

Whatever you think, you were nothing but a tool in the demolition of their relationship, and that's it. You being insatiable and awesome in the sack wasn't the cause of thier divorce (but if you want to pat yourself on the back like that, have at it). If it hadn't been you it would have been someone else, or something else. You just gave them something else to club each other with. I can already see the argument. She screams "You're a lousy lay!" and he yells back "Yeah, well you're a slut!". They already had problems and were looking for big rocks to throw at eachother, you were just convenient.

Mr. WS

[semntj]

what you said was awsome..if you aoready dont have like a million friends, and are in need of new buddies, please keep us in mind. your words were right on and I thank you you are very wise

[YZF]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

your assessment of the demise of their marriage is wrong, and stinks of the "I banged her better than her husband" attitude that sinks 90% of single guys trying to get in the lifestyle.

Their marriage did not split up because her husband was inadequate in the sack and you were better.
Mr. WS

Sorry if I came on like that. Now that I have "caught up" so to speak, I do not have that I can bang better than anyone attitude. Didn't then. It was just that after not getting any, just looking at a naked woman was enough to get me ready. I was not doing anything better.

Even my current girlfriend. She is a lifelong athlete and has a great body and a model gorgeous face. Being anywhere close to her was enough to drive me crazy with desire. Now, I still have no problem getting in the mood, but just the sight of her naked if we are getting ready to go out or something is not going to spring a throbbing hard on on me.

For several months after my parole, I just could not get enough. It was cause for a letdown for one woman who I had a one nighter with then and then got with several months later after I had "caught up."

[EmpyreanPleasur]

Anyone may have misgivings and doubt from time to time. Whether they are irrational or unfounded shouldn't matter - our rule is, no matter how "paranoid" one of us is feeling, everything stops with that outside person until things are resolved and that partner feels comfortable again. If they never resolve those feelings, we move on. NOTHING is more important than each other.

[JimWActg]

Whenever my wife is jealous or insecure about someone in the lifestyle I try to take it as a compliment that she treasures me so, and a sign that I have not been giving her all the little TLC's that reassure her that she is number one.

Once I back off, pay that special attention to her, make sure she knows she is not only number one, but all that matters to me. She always comes back stronger and more secure in the next encounter.

Of course part of that is letting her decide when the time is right for that next encounter, whether it is with whomever she was jealous of or a new person.

[dirtwr04]

Damn, I love you guys. Especially you LikeMinds - I really feel good about the level of understanding this forum has about the psychology of swinging. I had to think long and hard - no pun intended - about the dynamics of what I was getting into prior to my/our start in leaving the vanilla world but had I found this site in the begining I probably could have saved myself a good 6 months of "what ifs."