I promised that I would post my experience at the club. WOW! It was great. The people were nice, the experience was erotic, and, even though we only observed, we met some great people. There was only one problem. We were there to meet and socialize with other couples. There were alot of single men at the club, which made me uncomfortable. In a way, that at one point we had to move from the TV Room to the lounge, because one man was doing things right next to me, that made me feel like, I either get involved or move. Is this the way all clubs are? By the way, we arrived at 8 and left at 1:30am. The rest of the weekend for us is unforgettable, to say the least. Thanks for all the advise, and we will be visiting more clubs in the near future!
The rest of the weekend for us is unforgettable, to say the least.
This has always been the payoff for us. If it stoked the fires at home, then it was a successful visit!
And - no - not all clubs are like you describe. In fact, I would guess that what happened was likely not all that common for Utopia. The people we know that go there are not into single men at all, and they swear by the place. It might have just been a weird night.
Last edited by Spoomonkey; 01-02-2005 at 05:08 PM.
It was New Years Eve, and the regular couples that attend said there were alot more people there then usual. I think that our next visit (which there will be) we will not go during a holiday. Being new, alot of people ask who initiated the lifestyle. When I say it was I (female), people are surprised. Is this uncommon for a female to initate a lifestyle change? As you can see, I am full of questions. Smiles bear with me...LOL
There were alot of single men at the club, which made me uncomfortable. In a way, that at one point we had to move from the TV Room to the lounge, because one man was doing things right next to me, that made me feel like, I either get involved or move.
starlinn, I'm so glad your first club visit went well! After our first visit we were kicking ourselves for being so nervous about it. Although we had a similar thing happen. This club does NOT allow single guys in EVER... ok well there's like one night per year when you're allowed to bring your 'toys' with you, but your own membership is on the line if they misbehave so I guess they're all usually very gentleman-like. However, the first night we went was the formal ball and fashion show. One perv we'll call Leering Larry did nothing but STARE at me all night. It was downright uncomfortable. He wasn't single, but he certainly didn't seem to be into swinging for anything as noble as improving his relationship with his g/f or wife. The fashion show consisted of naughty clubwear and lingerie and after the models were done showing it off, an area was set up as a (co-ed) changeroom if anyone wanted to try on the stuff before they bought it. I went up to take a look at some of the stuff and Larry just about spilled his drink scrambling to follow me up there. He figured I was gonna get naked in front of him. Ugh! I'm no prude, but I'm not a damn chunk of meat either! Mr. intuition was getting pretty pissed at him and was about to say something, but I guess someone else had complained about him before we had the chance to. He suddenly disappeared after that.
I'd say if someone is making your experience at a club unpleasant, either speak to him or her directly about what specifically about their behaviour you find offensive, or find your host and talk to him or her about it. Most reputable clubs will either give one very firm warning or some operate on a one-strike-you're-out policy (no warning, just the door hitting them on the ass on the way out). Hosts will go out of their way to ensure you have a fun pressure-free evening. They know that there are lots of clubs out there and unhappy members often don't renew their memberships! I agree with Spoomonkey (as usual): it was probably just a wierd night.
Yes.. for Utopia, that is odd that there would be a lot of single men there. But at our club (that we frequent) there were a lot of single men in attendance last night, too. It was suprizing me because each of them paid more than $80 to be there! WOW!
Anyway, if it had been me and there was a single man doing things right next to me, I would have asked him to leave or move over.
The one thing I have learned with them is that you have to be direct and to the point. (not mean- just direct)
I do not think any club would allow that, and 99.9% of the time, the women is always right- finished.
Anyway, it is probably different for a woman to initiate the change. I feel like I initiated it too. Mr and I had always discussed it, but it was I that said hey lets do this.
I think it depends though. I have found a lot of younger couples saying that the man initiated it, and then couples our ages (30's and 40's) I think it is more the women.
Okay, Now that I have everyone's ear bent, I do have another question. How do you approach another couple? I did meet a few, and I didnt expect anything to happen, but I would have loved to hear a "come on back now" or something. I dont really know if asking what they do for a living is appropriate or just asking them about how long they have been in the lifestyle. Another concern of my husbands is, he is not bisexual in any way, but I am. How do you know if the male of a couple is? My head is spinning with questions. I do not want to offend anyone. We are a very outgoing couple, and talk comes easy. I just do not want to talk about the wrong things.
HEEHEE > giving me something to do on a boring Sunday Night< HEE HEE
I think the best way to approach a couple is to walk over to them and say hi and introduce yourselves. Most couples, if they find you interesting are going to invite you to join them for a bit. If they don't, then they are either shy, or are not interested.
Flirting and chatting just like you would on a date is what works for us. We usually ask where people are from, how long they have been in the lifestyle, have they ever been to a club before, how long they have been married, what they do for a living is ok- Where do you work is not.
We call this our pre-interview. Depending on their answers, we may stay and chat, or excuse ourselves to dance, whatever. We get this a lot from couples scoping us out, too.
One thing for sure is that Mr. Indya nd I never play on a first meeting, so we are pretty safe in talking to whomever we want, and to how many people we want.
Bi-Sexual men are very hard to come by, I think. Mr. Indy is straight too, and we have yet to be approached by a bi-sexual male. I am not saying they aren't out there, I am just saying that they haven't found us.
When we are talking to a couple in the preinterview phase, and have decided to go to the next phase "the interview" then we will ask those questions: are you both bisexual? What are you looking for in another couple? Etc.