We Did It!!!!!!!!!!

[Alura]

Spoomonkey wrote:

Now - had they put the horse BEFORE the cart... Well, that would be a whole other story.

True enough, Spoo, but as we say here in Oklahoma, "Shouldadones don't count." These folks must accept what has happened as history and go about facing the future.

There is no reason to wallow in guilt. What good can that possibly do?

Probably the best thing to do is to continue the friendship as before, without sex. This seems to be the way y'all have decided to go and I think it is the best course of action. I think confession would be a bad idea at this point.

There is one intriguing possibility, though... If the two ladies were somehow to find themselves alone with the other husband some quiet evening... Well, a double blowjob might change his reluctant mind...

Mr. Alura

[oncewere]

It isn't always a good idea to tell all, especially when there are other issues to solve. It could unnecessarily complicate things. Talk with her, let her know how you feel, that you shouldn't play until she and hubby are ready but don't insist that she tell all. Alura had a good idea.
The difference between a person and a lightbulb? A lightbulb can be unscrewed. ;-)

[TNT]

We have just recently had a similar problem occur.

One of the single men we play with invited us to meet his "new" girlfriend. He was wanting to introduce her to the swinging lifestyle and felt that once she met us she would see that people who do swing are normal people. Her and I had been chatting on line some before the actual meet, with myself answering her questions about swinging.

We met for dinner one night, had a good time, and on the way home Ted and I discussed that we were not sure she would be able to handle swinging. A few days later I was chatting with her, she was extremely upset because she had found pictures of him on his computer with other people. I asked her if these were taken before or after he and she had become a couple, she replied after they were together. OK, lights start going off in my head...I asked her how long have you been together as a couple...her answer over a year, we're engaged. OH, shit...we had not played with him since he had informed us that he had a girlfriend but had played with him during the past year. She did not know about us and him, whereas he had told us that he had told her about the three of us when he asked if we would meet and talk with her.

I spent time on line as well as the phone with both of them, reaming him a new one and apologizing to her (he finally told her about us) letting her know that we were unaware of their relationship while we were playing with him. The end results being that she still wants to explore swinging, I will still be here to answer her questions as well as we will accompany them to socials but...we will not be playing with him behind her back or them as a couple unless we feel she is ready.

We don't feel any guilt about this at all...we were deceived as well as her.

In a situation like simba101's, you knew the woman was married, you made a conscious decision at the time to go through with it, as well as she made the same decision. A lack of respect for the friendship as well as for her marriage and husband were shown. Shit happens. The thing to do is learn from your mistake. All you can do is deal with your feelings on it. Her cheating on her husband is on her head, not yours. We are not here to police other peoples relationships and what they do in them, the only relationships we can control is our own.

Handle you own feelings on this and let her handle her own problems within her marriage.

Teresa

[SexhoundDog]

Simba,
Only a few things come to mind after reading what everyone else said.

My husband is telling me to quit feeling guilty and we should just leave it alone.

This is part of what you said. I don't condone affairs, but sometimes no good can come of a confession, as Mr. Alura said, and depending on the circumstances, occasionally you just take it to the grave with you. If anyone has any confessing, it had better come from the other wife to her husband first, and she probably feels it's better to take it to the grave also. Would be very dangerous to your friendship if either you or your hubby had a bout of remorse and had to cleanse your soul to him.

And the other thing that could be VERY interesting comes from the old horndog Mr. Alura again, and you may run this one by your hubby and the other wife too:

If the two ladies were somehow to find themselves alone with the other husband some quiet evening... Well, a double blowjob might change his reluctant mind

I think that's an OUTSTANDING idea, Mr. Alura!!! And, somehow I doubt that guys mind "surprises" like that as much as women do! facelick

[Alura]

SexHoundDog wrote:

...the old horndog Mr. Alura...

Thanks, SexHoundDog! I appreciate the vote of confidence!

Mr. Alura

[SexhoundDog]

You earned it, Mr. Alura! That was such a good suggestion that my mind is almost fantasizing in third person for what a lucky devil that other husband could be. Can't you almost put yourself in his shoes, having these two women plotting a surprise like that on you?!!! facelick

[Alura]

I'd put myself out of his shoes, and everything else. It's a long-time fantasy of mine and I'm sure a lot of other men. ...and women, come to think of it...

Mr. Alura

[simba101]

Mr. Alura, your idea is very interesting and thought provoking. You gave me a good laugh today, thank you! I can see the look on his face now if we were to surprise him like that. I think we'll just stick to being friends and no more playing, no confessions, no more anything. We've learned our lesson.

My husband would love a surprise blowjob though, if only I could give a better blowjob and do it more frequently. I never feel quite adequate in that department



~M~

[intuition897]

simba, I'd like to apologize if anything I said offended you both. I certainly didn't mean to be direct to the point that I was injuring anyone's feelings. You asked for our opinions, and mine happened to be that cheating/adultery - regardless of the reason or number of occurrences - never really has any good excuse. It is something that one decides to do. When someone decides to cheat on her spouse, and she will not own up to it and admit her mistake to him, that says to me that their relationship is unstable. It's true, shit happens. Sometimes people, in the heat of the moment and in their attraction to one another, can get carried away. I like to say swinging is a contact sport and you can expect some injuries. I should've made a point of applauding your admission of guilt; that's one of the toughest parts of making mistakes. No one likes to feel like they're a bad person, and unfortunately mistakes like this will do just that. No, we all understand you aren't bad people. It was a learning experience and as long as you've come away from it knowing more than you did before, it's ok. Again, truly sorry if I've offended.

[Alura]

Simba wrote:

I think we'll just stick to being friends and no more playing, no confessions, no more anything. We've learned our lesson.

Whatever suits you tickles me plumb to death, Ma'am. And if you want to work on that blowjob technique there are several very helpful threads on this board.

See y'all around the Board, and the best of luck always.


Mr. Alura

[simba101]

Originally Posted by intuition897

simba, I'd like to apologize if anything I said offended you both. I certainly didn't mean to be direct to the point that I was injuring anyone's feelings.

Neither you nor anyone else has offended us at ALL! We certainly didn't have to post this to the group at all, but we wanted everyone's advice/opinions or else we would not have solicited them. I appreciate you and everyone else taking the time to advise us, even if some of it was difficult to swallow. We didn't hear anything that we weren't already thinking ourselves. It was nice to have others validate it.
So, we've experienced, we've learned, and now we'll move on to hopefully a much more less dramatic encounter the next time!

~M~

[simba101]

Originally Posted by Alura

[b] And if you want to work on that blowjob technique there are several very helpful threads on this board.

See y'all around the Board, and the best of luck always.


Mr. Alura

I've actually looked for threads about blowjob techniques but haven't found them. I must be looking in all the wrong places.

~M~

[Alura]

Here, Mrs. Simba, this'll get you started:

How to make a guy cum with oral

Mr. Alura

[simba101]

Thanks again Mr. Alura! My hubby wants me to read all about it and maybe I'll get over my issues with it!

~M~

[Spoomonkey]

For the record, I don't think you guys should beat yourself up with guilt. That is very unproductive. My point is that I know how I would feel as a husband if my wife had cheated with another couple.

Telling him could devastate your friendship, their marriage and his psyche. It does make the situation troublesome.

If a double blow job will fix it, then I am all for that approach...

After reading the thread, I have a "hand's on" course I offer...

If you guys are interested...



Spoomonkey