First experience, one man down

[djsexyass]

Well, we had our first experience.........we were very excited, had a few nerves, but they quickly went away. We had a lot of fun with the couple and after drinks and dinner decided to invite them back to our hotel room. They met us at the hotel, and we began playing. We werent going to full swap.....centered on girl girl play......... The man couldnt seem to get it up which seemed to have upset his female partner.

Has this happned to anyone? Do you acknowledge it? or not?

We didnt, we just kept playing, but things seemed weird at the end of play time. The female partner quickly got dressed and quickly wanted to leave, and became frustrated when the man wanted to stay the night.


Any comments, or suggestions would be great.
All the threads here always have such great responces.
Looking forward to the replies.

DJ and Jimmy

[EvilMJ]

Hi DJ and Jimmy,

I think you have experience something many of us have gone through. I remember our first swap, both men had troubles getting an erection. In our case they both felt a little anxiety by being with a woman who wasn't his wife, with his wife in the general area.

Both of them felt as if they had somehow let us down and had feelings that bordered on self disgust. However both of us women did out best to make them feel better . After they got a little more comfortable and familiar with the situation it did not happen again. ( I noticed in similar threads that others use Viagra to help out).

The problem I see here is the other woman, I am sure her hubby felt bad enough when he could not perform, but her acting like that does nothing for his selfestime. They obviously have some issues to work out between them.
Normally we just let them know that we had a good time regardless and they should not be concerned that they did not perform to their expectations, if there is something we can do to make them feel more relaxed and comfortable then we will do it. Men can be affected by a lot of things, too much alcohol, too tired, stress, not in the mood, mental blocks. It is normal and acting like she did was just wrong and disrespectful towards both her husband and both of you. If it was their first experience I might be a little more understanding, however if they are not newbies I would be inclined to forget any further playing.

oh and congradulations on your first time!!! May all further adventures be less confusing and more fun!!!!

[EternallySingle]

Men CAN'T fake it. If anything was bothering him, he wouldn't be able to get it up until he relaxed. Most of the time that just takes time for the excitement and anxiety to wear off.

I can't say not to meet them again, but I'd talk to her about what she wanted to get but didn't out of the situation, and ask him if there was something on his mind.

[djsexyass]

Thanks for the replies Eternally Single and EvilMJ.

We did inform them that we had a good time. And yes, alcohol and other things couldve been part of it. But I do wonder if it would be the same if we decided to play with them again, or possibly worse. The situation hasnt changed our minds about having more experiences, but I have to be honest and say that it has slowed me down a bit.

Again, thanks for the replies......and I look forward to other replies as well.

[biblonde]

Like the others have said....this happens alot! truthfully although most of the time the other woman doesnt get upset by it. I have had more than one have a problem in that erea and I just find other things to entertain myself! I think it being the first time may have had alot to do with it? but who knows unfortunatly men cant really control that. This other couple really needs to sit and talk about this because if she had that reaction this time the next time the poor guy is going to be so nervous that he wont perform again and well you get the picture! He needs to be reasured that it isnt that big a deal and that it was fun...helps to settle the nerves some. Maybe you could talk to her and find out why she got so upset about it. Geez if that ever happened to my hubby I surely wouldnt be upset with him. It isnt like he could make it happen or stop it from happening. but some people get upset over the silliest things.

good luck in your next adventures!!

[lcjtsd]

That's why we always carry the little blue pill. I (hubby) always have a problem with nervousness and, as all you men know, the more you think about it the worse it gets.

[Hellboy]

It probably is anxiety. The first time I was with my wife, I had that problem. And that was when we were dating and we were both in college. And I was in the best shape of my life. So, it happens. I stalled for time and got my shit together and the Captain came around, but I had never experienced that before. Makes me wonder what will happen if I am able to pull this swinging experiment off......will the same thing happen? hmmmm.....

[djsexyass]

Again, thanks for all the great replies.

Several of you have mentioned "the little blue pill"......so we're curious, where do you get this? and is it appropriate to have to give to the other male who we're playing with? Jimmy has never had that problem (only time was when we had just had sex and I was ready to go again a lot sooner than he was), so I dont think it would be for us........but if this situation happens again with same couple or another couple.......would it be rude to say "hey, do you want one of these?"

Also........does this "blue pill" give you an erection for hours as it claims to do? any negatives to this? Just curious...........so those of you who have mentioned it, could you please say more?!

Thanks again.

DJ and Jimmy

[BradAndJanet]

Well, DJ, just have him go to your regular doctor and tell him that he's having a bit of trouble getting an erection sometimes (he doesn't need to know the exact details. ) If he's in good health, I'm sure he'll have no trouble walking out with a prescription. Your insurance might even help cover it, mine does (and it's no great plan, believe me! )

And, yes, they really do work. I get erections like I was 18 again and it makes the recovery time in between much shorter. Personally, I like Cialis better than Viagra, because it literally works for 36 hours, whereas Viagra is only good for 6-8.

I suppose one could have an erection for 4 hours, but I usually cum before that! Seriously, without the proper stimulation, you become flaccid again. These drugs just help you achieve and maintain an erection when you want one; they don't automatically cause one.

I hope that helps!

-B

[HaynHonu]

I was going to post about the same thing but decided to do a search on the subject first...smart posting!

I've heard little about these two drugs but "locker room talk". I was stongly recommended Cialis by the male of a couple we play with because I too had an issue this last weekend. Couple weeks before I was stiff as a board, but last weekend.....I need not say more.

Havent been to a doc since I was in the Marines 12 years ago, but would like to be prepared before I walk in.

Can anyone give any 411 on the difference between Cialis and Viagra? so I dont have to STFW (search the fucking web) all night?

[midnight hour]

Personally, I like Cialis better than Viagra, because it literally works for 36 hours, whereas Viagra is only good for 6-8.


we have been wondering about that one...does it only work once in the 36 hours or more then once...I know with viagria when it used it comes up within so long..but this commercial on this one has me puzzled on how it really works.
Thanks in advance.

midnight hour

[Belkin]

Originally Posted by djsexyass

........does this "blue pill" give you an erection for hours as it claims to do? any negatives to this? Just

They just make it easier to get an erection. He won't walk around with a woody for hours for no reason...it will still take sexual stimuli of some sort.

I've tried all three, but V the most. They all affect me in a similar manner, though I think the only one that has given me a headache is V. My erection seems stiffer with any of the three than with nothing at all.

The drug company websites claim they are all one-shot-wonders (no studies have proven their usefulness the second go-round), but I've found that they can do wonders the night I take them and the next morning I'm still very easily excited.

Don't use them much any more, but if I were to get another perscription it would likely be Cialis or Levitra.

-Belkin

[BradAndJanet]

Originally Posted by midnight hour

...does it only work once in the 36 hours or more then once...

Oh, Cialis works many times in 36 hours. Within reason, you want an erection, you've got it - much more easily and with more...vigor. The best way to honestly describe it is that you'll feel like you're 18 again, spontaneous wood and all that. Firm as iron. Yee-haw.

(Check with your doc first.)

-B

[hotsummers]

OK, back to the woman's original questions.

We've learned from one experience that sometimes the woman will become offended if her own SO can't perform. It is sort of like an insult to her sexuality. Imagine if they've talked about it for a long time and gotten excited by the talk and now its time for the reality!! Then ........ nothing....
Maybe she was angry because he would not consent to let her use the only working equipment in the room! The point is that she felt angry for whatever reason and decided to let all parties know. I feel that this is uncool. Bow out gracefully if you ever find yourself in a less than perfect situation. You'll feel better about yourself in the Morning.