First time at an on-premise

[sensuality]

Hi everybody!!
Well, I am writng about this because I am sure at least a few of you may have come across this type of situation and if not, like I said...you learn something new everyday.
My hunny and I went to an off-premise club Saturday night{first time for us at an off-premise} and we had so much fun! We danced so much my legs are still sore! The night started out fabulously, when we first got there, we were seated at a table, but I eyed the bartender, who was just too cute.So, we moved to the bar and that's where we sat off and on throughout the evening.Things were going great,the music was awesome,the drinks were flowing and strong! I was flirting shamelessly with the bartender...He was African-American and he looked delicious! facelick I have to say he was the best looking guy out of all the men there, to me.Besides my hunny. Of course, he couldn't play...but it was so fun flirting with him! As I was saying,we'd dance and talk to different people, hubby's still learning to dance,and so it took him awhile to actually go out on the dance floor without me,but he did great!I danced with a girl and then a few guys.We were just really enjoying ourselves.Well, about an hour before the club was to close, this guy came up to my hunny...Didn't even introduce himself to me and says his wife went out for a cigarette and they'd like to get to know us when she comes back.So, we're thinking-Okay,no problem, we'll see what happens.So, the guy walks off. My hunny and I decided a few minutes later to go dance...when low and behold here comes the couple. They introduced themselves and we said we'd be back, we're just going to go dance to this song...Well, I guess they took it as an invitation, because they followed us out to the dance floor-Mind you, we've not even had a conversation with these people We both looked at each other and gave the "ahh,what the hell" shrug .All 4 of us danced together and it was really sexy...after the song was over, we headed back to the bar,and this girl is yelling how she's going to get laid,and telling the guys to go get a room{the club is run out of a hotel} and she and I are going outside to play alone for awhile and so she can smoke a cigarette :rollseyes .And, I said okay, hold on a minute, first of all,we want to tell you guys if we do do anything,it'll be soft swap,and we'd like to stay at the club until it closes. Because while she was relatively attractive to the both of us, her man was not all that spectacular to me and the most I was willing to do with him was simply make out But, she was on a mission and flying a bit too high and kept saying how she'd change my mind and I should really go ahead and do full and all this crap .Sooo, hubby and I decided to go talk amongst ourselves and I told him, if he wanted full, he could go with them and have a threesome, because I was perfectly content to flirt with the bartender all night{I did get to hug him and grab his ass...kissed him on the cheek a few times,too---woo hoo} He told me that her aggressiveness and pushiness was a turn off and he wanted to forget it.I guess she had pecked him on the lips while we were on the dance floor and grabbed him and told him-"let's get a room",and he told her that we all needed to get together and talk about it first.And, even before that he said he had gone to lift up my skirt while we were all dancing and she had slapped his hand away and that turned him off ...so,after we had decided, I went to the rest room and on my way back to the bar, I noticed the couple were talking amongst themselves.So, I went to ask my hunny what he wanted to tell them...then, they got up and left!
Of course, we've been analyzing this all weekend, and we feel like if they'd come and actually talked to us and maybe gave us a chance to get to know them throughout the evening,it possibly would have turned out different, but "wham-bam"...just doesn't cut it!
Goodness!I swear, that girl was like a hurricane,she was just going sooo fast!!
But, like I said, other than that...we had an absolutely wonderful time.Dancing with them was really sexy,like I said...but we needed a little more time to move from the dance floor to the bedroom.
This was definitely a big lesson for us.It seems like every experience helps you to fine tune what you really want and are willing to do and also what you will not tolerate!

[robnbarb]

Well, useing my experence from my singles life, I would have to say the woman sounded like she was out of a lay, and cause you didn't respond quick, they left cause they figured no one wanted them and probably muttering to themselves about how the club was full of "losers" never once realizeing that her personality is a major turn off. Basicly they didn't want talk, they wanted action. I suppose it is different peoples way of looking at things, but to me, these two had no clue.

[sensuality]

That's exactly what we thought.I was willing to even explain that to her,that if perhaps we could spend a little time together...but like you said, they really had no clue.Hopefully, they'll change their tactics.

[biblonde]

What an interesting evening but I dont blame ya ...would have been a total turn off to both of us. I have to chatt some and feel comfy with ya if I am gonna go and get nekkid! Hopefully she will think about her behavior and change next time she goes there. They sound like those that just want another notch on the bedpost! But glad to hear ya had fun. I am a little leary about going to clubs and dances still but I know they can be alot of fun!

my 2 cents for the day!

[DBL D]

Hi Sensuality,

I'd say someone was in the wrong club and it wasn't you! :rollseyes

Did you mention them to the Hosts?

Male D

[mrs good times]

We've been in that situation too and I have to say that I find overly aggressive people to be a total turn off. If they try to persuade you to do something you are not willing to do then it's time to move on quickly.

[De and Ci]

Yeah, the woman definately had a problem, she sounds a little desperate. We had to deal with a pushy woman before, hitting on my wife hanging on us wanted to get a hotel, wanted to go down on my wife really bad-had to tell straight out thanx but no thanx. Thinking about it later, we should have let her. My wife was on the first day of her period and bleeding heavily, that would have been interesting.

[sensuality]

OMG,De and Ci: That is too funny! Wouldn't that have been interesting?!
Male D:We did think about reporting them to the hosts, {the next day, } We were pretty tipsy and it happened so damn fast...hindsight is 20/20. We are still in the "Can you believe that happened?" stage . We both agreed,like I said, that perhaps if they had taken their time,it would've turned out differently, but who knows?I mean, for all we know the guy wasn't even her husband or b/f...the whole thing was bizarre! However, BiBlonde:
You should really try an off-premise, and in time, even an on-premise club...the atmosphere is really sexy and everyone is so friendly...If anything, just go one time to check things out and if you don't like it,at least you had the experience!

[biblonde]

However, BiBlonde:
You should really try an off-premise, and in time, even an on-premise club...the atmosphere is really sexy and everyone is so friendly...If anything, just go one time to check things out and if you don't like it,at least you had the experience!

We have talked about it. I think we are still a little chicken (well me..lol) so maybe sometime we will go and check them out. I know there are some new ones by us so..ya never know!

[sensuality]

I think you will really enjoy yourself!

[De and Ci]

BiBlonde, from our experience, the ambience of an off-premise club is about the same as a typical night club, not very intimidating.

[sensuality]

Hi guys,
It's been a few days since the "incident".And, I have to say...now, I'm a little pissed off at that couple.I really did not appreciate the girl pushing herself on my hunny and me.I'm worried now, that when the next time comes and we go to a club...am I going to get jealous? I really don't think this is jealousy,I'm just really pissed off that she kissed him w/o permission...not from me, but from him.I mean, it was almost like a girl came up out of nowhere and kissed my man...it's a totally different feeling than when we had our threesome with another female...he kissed her and she kissed him and I loved it...So, what is wrong with me?He and I have discussed this and he says that he'd be pissed off too if some guy kissed me out of nowhere and he found out I really didn't give the okay for it..not to mention her trying to convince me to do full when I clearly said soft.And, he has also told me he really did not like her behavior... Is it possible that this has turned me off a bit? I mean, how often do people act so pushy like that?We love the club atmosphere and we absolutely love spending time with people who are on the same level as we are,and when those types of people are around, I feel nothing but relaxed and comfortable, but I guess I'm wondering how some of you may have handled this after you've had time to digest it all.I suppose that just really caught us off guard. And, is what I'm feeling normal?I should add, that in no way at all am I angry with my hunny...as a matter of fact, it seems like what happened brought us closer...And, I really like when ladies pay attention to him and all of that,which is why I' m confused as to why I feel this way.
Perhaps we should just be better prepared next time? Is this to be expected at clubs?That people may just come out of nowhere,people you haven't even said a thing to, and just kiss on you or grab you? I feel violated in a way...is that weird?Any thoughts are welcome!!

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by sensuality

I'm worried now, that when the next time comes and we go to a club...am I going to get jealous? So, what is wrong with me? Is it possible that this has turned me off a bit? Is what I'm feeling normal? I really like when ladies pay attention to him and all of that, which is why I' m confused as to why I feel this way. Perhaps we should just be better prepared next time? Is this to be expected at clubs?

You’re over-analyzing the situation. That couple you met was aggressive and rude, so you had every right to be pissed off at them. Couples like those are a minority in this lifestyle, so you need not worry about this being a common occurrence. You handled the situation as well as it could be handled, so don’t second-guess yourself. Just relax and allow yourself to have fun the next time you go to a club.

[biblonde]

sensuality and de and ci...that is one of the reasons I am a little intimitdated by swing clubs. We dont really go to regular clubs but when I do have a girls night out and go, it seems that guys pick up on me and dont understand go away to well....And the fact that it is a swing club I guess my biggest worry is that something like this will happen and not so sure I would have handled it as good as sensuality did. I dont want people thinking because I am there that I am fair game. And I also get real intimidated by big crouds...but that said we have talked about going and think we will sometime with friends.

And sensuality...I would be pissed too... she crossed the line in so many ways. I am happy that hubby is a great guy...he seems to feel the same as you on this. Anyone who doesnt understand no or tries to push you into something you dont want has no business being there. If they are there when you return to the club I would speak to the host and let them know what happened last time so that it doesnt happen again.
just my 2 cents for the day!

[De and Ci]

Biblonde, as other people have pointed out, the vast majority aren't pushy. Yes there are a few, but like a regular club where you deal with single guys, you just let them know your not interested and let it go. If you have have a really pushy couple like sensuality did-it will give you something to talk about later. There are always going to be obnoxious people in all kinds of situations. My wife is a hairdresser and she's had to deal with pushy male clients who want to go out with her. Its just part of life. Also remember at a couples club you'll be with you hubby-he can provide some security. And in Sensuality's case-she was being outgoing and as far as I can tell-on the make. From our experience-its easy to spot apprehensive newbies-they seldon get approached and if they do-the first thing that their told is to relax, have fun and enjoy themselves. Couples who are trying to hookup want to approach couples who they think will respond in kind.

Trust me, I berated someone on this board who explained that she chickened out after they pulled into the parking lot of a couples club. I was slammed by many in here who said I was basically being a jerk. I told the woman who wimped out just go next weekend-that she'd wonder why she made such a stink of it. Well, she later sent me a private msg telling me that I was absolutely right-that she had a blast. Anyway I hope this helps.