First time at an on-premise

[mrs good times]

The behavior you experienced is not the norm but it does happen. Mr. & I have both experienced similar things and I have to say that they are unnerving at the time but we still go because we know that most people are considerate and we will meet them too. Don't let this one experience ruin what could be a alot of fun for you both.

[DBL D]

[QUOTE=biblonde]... We dont really go to regular clubs but when I do have a girls night out and go, it seems that guys pick up on me and dont understand go away to well....And the fact that it is a swing club I guess my biggest worry is that something like this will happen and not so sure I would have handled it as good as sensuality did. I dont want people thinking because I am there that I am fair game. And I also get real intimidated by big crouds...but that said we have talked about going and think we will sometime with friends....Anyone who doesnt understand no or tries to push you into something you dont want has no business being there. If they are there when you return to the club I would speak to the host and let them know what happened last time so that it doesnt happen again....QUOTE]
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I won't try to sway you, BiBlonde, towards the clubs. We've been trying to have a balance between the two. Obviously you can actually talk to people instead of waiting for an e-mail or IM. Shortens the waiting and decision making; BUT, you have to stay where you are comfy. That's the only way you can be yourself sometimes. However, NO means NO and it is much more strictly adhered to at a "dance" than in a regular bar--I am sure of that. People usually catch the hint before anything can go wrong. This couple with Sensuality didn't get the hint or understand rules that couples have. You are very right in saying that someone who is pushy has no business being there. They should go find their own kind and hang with them if they happen to want to be so aggressive. Most people at clubs are very considerate, (if not all of the dances we've been to). The problem is that you actually have to do some thinking and decide who looks interesting to YOU and go after that...in a dignified way and with permission.

BTW, Your opinions are worth more than .02!

Male D

[sensuality]

Thanks everyone for all the reassurance...I am very grateful!!BiBlonde, I sincerely hope I didn't scare you off completely with our situation...overall, everyone has been extremely kind and considerate at the clubs we've gone to.
Mr.De...I'm not sure if you're referring to us as apprehensive newbies or not, but if you are...I have to tell you...we're not all that new and that night alone we were approached quite a few times...That girl was not only a bit tipsy,she was also...I would wager,on something....she was flying a way,way too high.So I'm not sure exactly what you were trying to say...no offense.

And, yes,I know I am over-analyzing.{It's just something I do} And,yes, my hunny really is a great guy and I was proud that the ladies really liked him and were attracted to him, but that girl just spooked us,and now we've once again fine tuned a few things...for instance, now if we meet a couple...we won't go dance right away. Heaven forbid they follow us again,unless they're both really sexy! And, we want to make it clear that there needs to be some time spent talking...I've even redone our online profile a bit to reflect this.{I must have done something right, because I keep getting a lot of positive responses.}
And, BiBlonde,your opinion is definitely worth more than 2 cents.
Thanks again everyone!! Have a sexy weekend!!!

[biblonde]

You guys are sweet! And We have talked quite abit about going to a dance or club. No you didnt scare me away...I dont scare that easy. LOL. And Sensuality I hope your next experiance is soooo much better! (without the drunken morons) lol.

Happy hunting and have fun!

[sensuality]

Bless you,BiBlonde...I hope so too!

[De and Ci]

Originally Posted by sensuality

Mr.De...I'm not sure if you're referring to us as apprehensive newbies or not, but if you are...I have to tell you...we're not all that new and that night alone we were approached quite a few times...That girl was not only a bit tipsy,she was also...I would wager,on something....she was flying a way,way too high.So I'm not sure exactly what you were trying to say...no offense.

No, I was referring to Biblonde as a potential "apprehensive newbie", this is what I said about you -"And in Sensuality's case-she was being outgoing and as far as I can tell-on the make", in other words-more approachable. I was trying to get across to bi-blonde that "apprehensive newbies" are percieved as being less approachable so obviously couples will be less likely to to hit on them. Hope this clears things up

[biblonde]

Originally Posted by De and Ci

No, I was referring to Biblonde as a potential "apprehensive newbie", this is what I said about you -"And in Sensuality's case-she was being outgoing and as far as I can tell-on the make", in other words-more approachable. I was trying to get across to bi-blonde that "apprehensive newbies" are percieved as being less approachable so obviously couples will be less likely to to hit on them. Hope this clears things up

LOL LOL We arent newbies I have just never been good around lots of people. I am great in small crouds but get a little nervous around lots of people. We have been in the lifestyle for 2 years almost and I dont have any problem meeting new people, I am usually the one that gets the "party" started...Just the club thing is a little on the intimidating side. Once I am comfy with a situation I am very outgoing and entertaining to say the least..lol

[De and Ci]

Biblond-interesting. We are more comfortable going to clubs than trying to meet any other way. For example, we recently posted on Swing Lifestyle-but we don't want to go and meet one on one at a restaurant or something-we're uneasy about what to do if we can't stand them. If we meet someone online we'' have them meet us a couple's club-if we don't like them, we'll just start socializing with others at the club.

[biblonde]

Originally Posted by De and Ci

Biblond-interesting. We are more comfortable going to clubs than trying to meet any other way. For example, we recently posted on Swing Lifestyle-but we don't want to go and meet one on one at a restaurant or something-we're uneasy about what to do if we can't stand them. If we meet someone online we'' have them meet us a couple's club-if we don't like them, we'll just start socializing with others at the club.

We both do real good with the one on one meetings and if we dont like them we finish our drink or dinner and enjoy each other and go home. We have had a couple dates where one of the other people annoyed the crap out of us and well we didnt let it get to us and when we left and returned home we sent them a sorry but dont think there was a connection. Best of luck to you! and we leave it at that. We alway make sure that the first meeting is someplace where we have an out. And we tell them when we are meeting that it is just to see if there is a connection...nothing more. If we really like them and all 4 want to play you know it...and one of us will suggest the next step. If we dont like them we tell them our sitter cant watch the boys all night and we go home...although we have liked a couple and didnt have an all night sitter which was such a bummer but worth the wait!! lol