Meeting potential swing partners: what makes a good or bad impression?

[pairbond]

OK, folks, what do you like to find when you meet a new couple or single? What makes a favorable impression on you? What gives you a BAD impression? What things are for-sure killers of all possiblities? Inquiring minds want to know.

pairbond

Looks are important to us. Call us shallow or vein but they DO matter.

If the first words out of their mouths are "do you wanna fuck?"
Deal breaker.
Of course we want to fuck, why else would we have a profile on a swingers site?
We already know that about each other lets see what else we have in common.

If we make it thru that and chatting is going good we move the chat to phone calls.

You get a lot better feel for someone when you can actualy hear their voice.

Conversation is important. If we feel like we have to keep dragging the conversation along or there would be silence that is a red flag. We have to be able to have a TWO way conversation going with in the first few minutes.

If we are done with dinner and we are not talking like old friends yet we obviously are not clicking.

So lets break it down a little....

If we are both physicaly attracted to the other couple (Doesnt have to be lust, just an attraction) we move to the next step.

If we chat thru messages and all is going good we move to the next step.

If on the phone we can carry on a conversation we move to the next step.

If we finaly meet and they are who they said they were in all the previous steps and we continue to click we fuck.

[PLZUREZONE]

The "ME" attitude has always been a deal breaker for us. You know the type...I did that BETTER..Oh, I stayed there but i stayed in a BETTER place.ME ME ME...We like good ol' down to earth folks...who can carry a good conversation and never have the need to out do anything you say or have done. Those who after spending a few hours with, you feel as though you have been friends a long time. It just flows that easily.
Although looks are of corse important to us....Pretty is, as pretty does...ya know?

[Elusive BiFem]

The number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.....thing on the list of deal-breakers for me is even the hint of uncleanliness. OK...so that is after meeting someone.

Prior to meeting, I think the Naughty's summed it up rather well. Chat/e-mail, phone conversation, dinner/drinks - that sort of thing - to really start to get to know someone. I like people that can laugh and have a good time doing whatever they happen to be doing. People that can carry on a reasonably intelligent conversation. Similar interests in other areas of life. Camping came up in a previous thread. If someone wanted to go camping every weekend that would exclude me. I don't camp. I don't enjoy clubs so if they wanted to go to clubs all the time - not for me. I don't like overly cocky people, but I do enjoy self-confident people.

Basically - people like me. Average. Too far under average and I probably wouldn't be interested and too far above average and I probably wouldn't be interested.

- EBF

[tazzie_n_truck]

With us when we are meeting someone new some of the things we look for are.
#1. Are they clean.
#2. Are they dominating the conversation about sex? We have turned down lots of couples because they only wanted to talk about sex.
#3. Attitude, do they seem to be only interested in sex, or are they interested in friendship as well.
#4. When the conversation does come to sex, and swinging, if they have been with other couples, what are they saying about other people.
#5. Are they pushing wanting to have sex? We have had lots of people when we met tried to push us into going back to either our place or theirs and getting naked and swapping right away.
#6. Do they respect that we have kids and can't just change plans at the drop of a hat with the kids?

Those are what we look at. Alot of it we would also say has to do with conversation. Just talking and getting to know each other can really help us get a feeling if they are people we want to hang out with, and possibly swing with.

Hope this helps.

[mrs good times]

We are into looks too but most importantly they have to appear like they took the time to prepare to meet for sex. If they show up in sweat pants, deal off. If they have a five o'clock shadow, deal off. We want a couple that has good personal appearance and hygene because it generally means they care about themselves so in turn care about others.

[GirlieZ]

First impressions aren't always perfect--and I usually try very hard (although I don't always succeed) to look beyond those first impressions. If the first meet isn't perfect then I always say yes to a second one. Sometimes there will be a third or a fourth. After that...I give up.

Things that really turn me off...

People who aren't warm...I am a very cuddly person and really need to be cuddled. I need someone who is willing to open up their bodies. I mean body language..I simply can't get into someone's vibe if they are sitting there with their arms crossed.

People who want to talk constantly about sex...Please don't get me wrong, I love to talk about the subject, just not all the time.

People who do not understand the word no.

People who are pushy...the best way to turn me off is to push me..Hey wait..I guess this is the same as people who don't understand the word no!

Um...dirty people...UGH...FINGERNAILS that are dirty...that totally grosses me out (its one of my peeves at work)

My turn ons?

People who warm and friendly, who understand and respect our limits, who know how to carry a good lively conversation, who know how to tell a good joke and are clean. We like rowdy people...

Zgirl

[sexypairca]

I'm really bad with unforgiving first impressions. Once something strikes me as a turn off, it tends not to be over looked. I don't expect people to be perfect,I'm far from it, but a little effort can go a long way.

Pet peeves would be a lack of personal hygiene, inability to carry an intelligent conversation and the absence if a sense if humor (if they can't laugh they probably aren't much fun either).

Laid back and down to Earth types will do just fine. Not being shy helps too, I always worry about scaring the shy types with my agressive nature. Good thing I don't bite.

Annette

[LikeMinds321]

There is something no one has mentioned that turns me cold. I have never warmed up to anyone who has this BAD habit: It's when someone first approaches you and they look you up and down--like they're comparing themselves to you...or have to check out your clothes...and they never smile when they do this. It's as if they don't think anyone notices what they do. It's done very quickly, but it is so noticable and rude! I find women do this more than men. It instantly sends a message that they are shallow and more interested in the surface than the core.

What makes a GOOD impression is when a person looks you straight in the eye and smiles when they say hello. They light up when they meet you. Now that's a wonderful first impression!

LM

[frenzb4sex]

Originally Posted by pairbond

OK, folks, what do you like to find when you meet a new couple or single? What makes a favorable impression on you? What gives you a BAD impression? What things are for-sure killers of all possiblities? Inquiring minds want to know.

pairbond

Well, let's see.....

Favorable impressions:
1) Cleanliness is a definite-We aren't looking for Ken and Barbie by any means, but for god's sakes iron your shirt!!!
2) Classiness and respect-we don't have to have upscale by any means, but those that are interested in us for people, not just for the sexual side of things. Let's carry on a conversation about things other than what positions get you off the best....
3) Smiling and having fun-come on, this is supposed to be fun! While understanding that there are nerves that can make people somewhat inhibited, at least show some desire to be there and "get in the swing" of things!!!
4) People that show obvious love towards their spouses/SO: We've met with a few people where it was not evident they were married to each other, but they did yell at each other. Not good.
5) A willingness to think outside the "BOX": As mentioned here several times, yes we are meeting because of a sexual reason, but jeeeeeeeeeesh, don't you even want to know my name?????
6) Flirters-this is HUGE with us. If you can flirt with your eyes, casual touching , comments, we are like putty in people's hands. It's so great!!!!!!!

Unfavorable impressions:
If you fit any of the comments below:

"Like my mullet?"
"The doctor says it should go away in a few days"
"Hey, can we go back to our house, I'm really not have supposed to have left there."
"I need another drink *hiccup*"
"Hey, do you guys know so-and-so? They did this and this and I heard this and oh my god this and can you believe it?"


.as well as some of the other undesirables people have mentioned....

Tim

[windsor4fun2]

Originally Posted by sexypairca

Not being shy helps too, I always worry about scaring the shy types with my agressive nature. Good thing I don't bite.

Annette

Didn't scare me.
Since you don't bite do you at least nibble. That wouldn't be too scary.

Jesse

[sexypairca]

Originally Posted by windsor4fun2

Didn't scare me.
Since you don't bite do you at least nibble. That wouldn't be too scary.

Jesse

Only upon request .