Finding that elusive couple

Kind of weird to hear that.

I always hear the elusive female or male but never couple.

But that seems to be our dry spot.

We are not looking for Ken & barbies. Just average everyday peolpe who like to have fun.

But the couple thing is seeming almost impossible to find.

We have over a hundered messages in our messege box from single males ready to meet.

But the couples are much fewer and after a few messeges back and forth, thats it. They just stop talking.

Anyone find it hard to meet a couple??

Even for a first date?

[leftcoastcouple]

Geez, are you kidding? We've read enough about you guys to ask, "Want to come out to California?" I bet we'd have a great time together.

I know it's a dirty word around here, but our ad on AFF has drawn so many responses--even without a picture--that we can barely keep up with the replies. Not sure where you guys are looking, but we've certainly not had a problem there.

Too bad you're so far away! Good luck as you continue your search. You two sound like a lot of fun waiting to happen.

[newgentry]

Same problem here. We're on SLS, and between the couples that are too old, too young, too aggressive, and the others for which there is no physical attraction, we're pretty much batting a big goose egg too.

[Spoomonkey]

One word...

Club...

But - aside from that, we never had problems when we seriously played on the internet. We only paid for a month of memberships and still had pretty good luck meeting friends. The problem is, lots of them aren't serious, real or compatible.

That's why we prefer clubs. It is convenient to shop for clothes on-line, but it is best to go try them on...

BUT - the internet does work. Maybe your ad is TOO single male - know what I mean?

Spoomonkey

We do clubs. There isnt a problem at clubs. As a matter of fact we are going to one next weekend!

I dont know what it is.

I was just wondering if this is common.

We are looking in are area and about a 100 mile radius area around us.

[DandS]

and I thought it was just us!!

We have had no problems meeting couples at clubs and always have fun when we go to one.

We are relatively new to the online ads, only 5 weeks. So far we have gotten quite a few emails and we take the time to read the mesages, profiles and responded to each one. We have started chatting with a few couples, traded g rated photos, continued chatting and then twice in the last 3 weeks we suggested meeting for drinks or dinner and never heard anything back from the other couples.

I understand changing your mind or getting cold feet but I would prefer a sorry, not interested email rather than silence. I'm not sure if i should email these 2 couples back and asked what happened or not...don't want to come accross as pushy or aggressive.

Meeting couples online... actually meeting them, and finding couples where all 4 people click is turning out to be much harder than we thought!

Mrs DandS

[OhioCouple]

We have never aggressively sought out a single, but when we were looking, it was pretty difficult locating someone that we could both agree on and then after sending them a message and exchanging a couple of e-mails, they just disappeared. We find the same thing with couples on line too. They have seemed to range from too aggressive to extremely elusive. We have met some extremely genuine people, but the amount of time spent to meet those folks seems to be a long road for us. Trying to meet the schedules of four people just to see if there is any further interest can take a long time. Clubs don't work well for us as neither of us care for the club scene (which limits us even further) and I prefer to know more about a potential partner than just happen-chance conversation at a club. However if you keep at it, you will eventually come across one where all click and the possibilities are endless from there.

[good times]

Same problem for us with the online sights. We have had various adds online for a year or so and have never hooked up with a couple from the adds yet. What we find most often is that we get messages from people that so obviously didn't read our add that we thought they must have meant to email someone else. I've tried changing our add several times because I assumed it just wasn't clear enough what we were looking for. But no matter what our add says we mostly get responses from other people that when wwe look at their profile it is obvious we wouldn't be compatable. Because my wife and I are both high profile or widely known people, we can't feature pictures on our adds. I always assumed that not having pictures may contribute to this problem, but have never figured out how, specifically.

Like the always witty Spoo dude said above our experiance at the clubs is totally the opposite. In fact I would guess we hook up with a compatable couple at the clubs better than 50 per cent of the time we attend.

[yawanna]

It's been my experience that online meetings take longer to come to fruition due to: initial emails back and forth...schedules...sending pics back and forth....getting to know each other via emails mostly....maybe one or two phone conversations....THEN...you meet for drinks or dinner...maybe once, twice, three times.....We once dated a couple for about a year...and we never went further than having dinner with them. The wife was hot and cold about swinging which is what took so long.

I also think that online folks are predominantly 'let's meet NOW' or it will take you months of 'courting'. Not all....just most are one or the other imho.

Couples who go to clubs are more sure of what they are looking for and what they expect from swinging. They are brave enough to get out from behind a keyboard and actually show up in person - even if it's just to get the lay of the land, so to speak

They are already out and about. They are steps ahead of people only placing ads or answering ads who are still in the research and discussion phase...something there is no way of knowing ahead of time.


If you are comfortable enough and ready for the next steps, as I think you are if you are finding frustration with trying to meet people online.... try clubs a few times. I think you'll see a difference

[GirlieZ]

Originally posted by Spoomonkey
One word...

Club...

That's why we prefer clubs. It is convenient to shop for clothes on-line, but it is best to go try them on...

BUT - the internet does work. Maybe your ad is TOO single male - know what I mean?

Spoomonkey

Great Fun!

I have to agree...I have met more like minded people at the single club that I go to than all the ad services I subscribe. Atmosphere means so much and what better place for meeting people who think like swingers than a club?

I remember one of my first posts about freaking out about going to a club... I can't even remember what I was so worked up over.

Anyways...don't get me wrong...I have met many great people in person that have been online "friends" first.

Zgirl

[fun_pairTX]

Zgirl,

We remember your post about freaking at the thought of going to a club. Glad things settled down.

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by Spoomonkey
... It is convenient to shop for clothes on-line, but it is best to go try them on...

We agree, now, but it took us a while to feel secure enough to 'come out from behind the keyboard'. Many people from this board helped with that (Thank You! )

We're looking forward to 'trying on some clothes' this summer...

-B

We do do the club thing. As a matter of fact we are going to the VC in Dallas for their Pimp & Ho Ball.

Mrs naughty and I were talking and thinking we may save the couple thing for the clubs and the single males for inbetween club visits. Unless we just happen to fall into a couple.

A little off subject here but not only do I enjoy the MFMs because double teaming Mrs naughty is so damn hot but there is no pressure on me.

I have no one to impress. I am just along for the ride.

Hell, I dont even have to make sure my underwear do not have holes in them before we head out for the night.

So not finding a couple from our ads is not all bad.

We do have a few we are talking to and cant wait to meet. But havent met yet.

Posted by Spoomonkey:

BUT - the internet does work. Maybe your ad is TOO single male - know what I mean?

We only have one line in there about single males. It just says they are more than welcome but must show a face pic. And its the last thing written in our profile. The rest is about meeting couples.

I didnt think dropping one line in about single males being wanted would turn off a couple.

Besides as mrs naughty points out (reading over my shoulder). Its not a matter of getting them to talk. A lot of the couples will message us first. They want to chat, chat, chat. We bring up a phone conversation or meeting somewhere and it is silence.

Its not all couples but a VERY LARGE majority.

[C&D]

We seem to have some of those problems as well. Most of the couples we come in contact with either want to jump straight into bed or we'll send a few emails and then everything seems to stop. Matter of fact we've gone back to standard members on AFF because of that very reason. Our SLS profile seems to get better responses but we find some of the same problems there.

And yes we agree getting 4 people, especially with kids and schedules involved, to meet takes some serious strategic coordination. However we are far from aggressive so taking a little time doesn't bother us. It actually helps us get to know someone before we actually meet. A hard lesson learned from the first couple we were with.


CandD