Meeting Friends of Other Swing Couples

OhioCouple · 05-09-2003, 04:24 PM

How does everyone feel about getting together with some one that you know and have enjoyed being with in the past, when they suggest that another couple join us?

We haven't been swinging for some time now and a couple that we know (who we really like) has contacted us again for getting together about a month from now. This couple (the one we know) swings very limitedly as their situation (family issues) are much like ours. We are considering saying yes and have actually had some e-mail contact with the other couple, who seem very excited for all of us to get together.

My concern though lies with the what if's. What if we really don't like them? What if we are not compatible socially, much less sexually? We do not normally swing on a first meet, but what happens when you are with someone you know and someone you don't? Has anyone ever been in this situation before? The couple that we know, tells us that they would fit in very well with us...and I do trust that judgement. But it is almost like breaking one of our own rules of a 'no swing' on a first meet, if we all seem to be compatible.

I know it sounds confusing....but hey.... I'm confused!

As they will be doing the driving to our area (each of them live about 1 1/2 hours opposite of us), I'd hate to waste their time or ours, since we don't have much time to get out and play anyway and neither do they.

Help? Suggestions?

Lori

EternallySingle · 05-09-2003, 05:12 PM

If you meet this other couple and things don't work out, they don't work out. You are not obligated to like the friends of your friends, only to respect everyone's feelings and let them know, politely, how you feel. You can't spend so much time worrying about what will go wrong that you miss out on an opportunity. Meet them and see how it goes.

OhioCouple · 05-09-2003, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by EternallySingle
You can't spend so much time worrying about what will go wrong that you miss out on an opportunity. Meet them and see how it goes.

Thanks Eternal. I know that I am going a tad overboard on this, but for me, when meeting new couples there is always that element of anxiety. As I said, I do trust the other couple entirely in their assessment and I think that they are just trying to make the best of the limited time frame that they have. They have been swinging for nearly 25 years and are very much like us in likes, dislikes, etc. We get along with them great and we really don't want to miss an opportunity to meet with them. I might also add that they said if we did not want to include the other couple for our day/evening out, that was fine with them and gave us the option for a yea or nay. (The other couple are long term swing friends of theirs.)

In our exchanges of e-mails, it is apparent that they are much like we are. I just detest the anxiety that comes along with meeting new couples. I've never been really good at being the
'new kid on the block' and it tends to show in first meets, until I can get comfortable with someone. My husband on the other hand can hold an ongoing conversation with an ardvark and make sense. I am the shy one. I just don't want to let anyone down.

Lori

Roxysbayou · 05-09-2003, 07:55 PM

I agree, you'll never know if you don't at least take the chance and meet them!

DragonsLair · 05-09-2003, 08:00 PM

I agree too, sis. Remember, the other couple might be going thru exactly the same things you are.

Relax and have a good time. You two deserve it.

DragonsLair

He is T. I am A.

Handyman69 · 05-11-2003, 09:42 AM

Hey Cuz,

We had that experince and it was also our first time to go to a club too. Anxiety....gitters...well I was a basket case. But went, met and enjoyed. Don't know if it works in all cases but it did that time. All I can say is give it a chance.....

Rhonda

romance4me2 · 05-11-2003, 11:33 AM

You should always follow your first instinct. Go have a great time. P.S. Tell us how it goes.

**Alura** · 05-11-2003, 11:34 AM

If you meet them and don't like them, you will have lost nothing. If you like them, however,

Alura

romance4me2 · 05-11-2003, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Alura
If you meet them and don't like them, you will have lost nothing. If you like them, however,

Alura

You can say that again! As I said Nothing Ventured is Nothing Gained!

BradAndJanet · 05-11-2003, 02:03 PM

Sometimes, you know, we just have to step off into the unknown and see what happens...

I agree with DragonsLair, you two deserve some R&R.

-B

velbuzz · 05-12-2003, 02:16 PM

Lori
I hope you are appreciating the encouragement you are getting to give it a go. I am sure your first foray into a swinging situation was similar. Now you have some people you trust saying come meet some people we think you might like. I think the risk of a few hours of dealing with people you may not like is worth the reward if the new couple is simpatico.

Just think of the fun you can have.

Bill and Sue

fun_pairTX · 05-12-2003, 03:36 PM

You can "what if" yourself to death. This is all counterproductive to meeting people and making new friends. We went to meet 5 other couples "bowling" of all things. We all had a great time and all wound up naked on our living room floor 3 hours later. Look at the bright side.

romance4me2 · 05-13-2003, 10:18 AM

You go Tx. couple! Sounded like a simply delicious evening!

***JustAskJulie*** · 05-13-2003, 02:53 PM

It's not like you are meeting with strictly a new couple here. You know you are comfortable with the couple you are friends with and they are comfortable with this other couple. If you don't hit it off with the new couple to a point that you want to have sex with them, then hopefully you still have options open with the old couple... if not there's always your hubby. Or perhaps you have one big group play session where the old couple kinda switches off between you. There's really many options open there.

I think the bigger question is what happens if you don't even hit it off with them socially. Like you have dinner with the other 2 couples and you discover that you really can't stand this new couple. Then what? If it were me, I think I'd have to politely dismiss us and head home. It would suck to lose out on a chance to possibly play with the old couple, but if you are that uncomfortable with the new couple then it would be for the best.

OhioCouple · 05-23-2003, 07:26 AM

Well, I finally convinced myself that it was worth giving it a shot. I had a less than fun experience a while back and that is another reason that we stepped back out of swinging. Nothing really major, I just didn't know how to say "no", or "please don't do that". I needed to work through that issue myself.

Needless to say my husband is doing his best to contain his excitement. We have had quite a bit of contact with this other couple via e-mail and one phone conversation. They seem really nice and as the other couple had said, "We think that you'll like them". I must admit that we do. We, (all three couples) are working on a date that works for all of us, it's looking like mid June at this point.

Geesh, I feel new all over again....

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05-09-2003, 04:24 PM	#1 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	Meeting Friends of Other Swing Couples How does everyone feel about getting together with some one that you know and have enjoyed being with in the past, when they suggest that another couple join us? We haven't been swinging for some time now and a couple that we know (who we really like) has contacted us again for getting together about a month from now. This couple (the one we know) swings very limitedly as their situation (family issues) are much like ours. We are considering saying yes and have actually had some e-mail contact with the other couple, who seem very excited for all of us to get together. My concern though lies with the what if's. What if we really don't like them? What if we are not compatible socially, much less sexually? We do not normally swing on a first meet, but what happens when you are with someone you know and someone you don't? Has anyone ever been in this situation before? The couple that we know, tells us that they would fit in very well with us...and I do trust that judgement. But it is almost like breaking one of our own rules of a 'no swing' on a first meet, if we all seem to be compatible. I know it sounds confusing....but hey.... I'm confused! As they will be doing the driving to our area (each of them live about 1 1/2 hours opposite of us), I'd hate to waste their time or ours, since we don't have much time to get out and play anyway and neither do they. Help? Suggestions? Lori
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

05-09-2003, 05:12 PM	#2 (permalink)
EternallySingle Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 1,035 Location: Michigan Status: Single Male Swing Lifestyle Name:ABSingleMan	What's the problem? If you meet this other couple and things don't work out, they don't work out. You are not obligated to like the friends of your friends, only to respect everyone's feelings and let them know, politely, how you feel. You can't spend so much time worrying about what will go wrong that you miss out on an opportunity. Meet them and see how it goes.
	__________________ "Style is not lusting after somone because they are cool. Style is loving yourself till everyone else does too." Prince

05-09-2003, 07:55 PM	#4 (permalink)
Roxysbayou Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,376 Location: Louisiana Status: Married Female Swing Lifestyle Name:likethat	I agree, you'll never know if you don't at least take the chance and meet them!
	__________________ I put the "grrrr" in swinger baby, yeah! --Austin Powers

05-11-2003, 11:33 AM	#7 (permalink)
romance4me2 Registered Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 6 Location: Florida Status: couple	Nothing Ventured Nothing Gained You should always follow your first instinct. Go have a great time. P.S. Tell us how it goes.
	__________________ Robin & Mark

05-09-2003, 08:00 PM	#5 (permalink)
DragonsLair Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 1,020 Location: Cleveland, OH Status: Married Couple	I agree too, sis. Remember, the other couple might be going thru exactly the same things you are. Relax and have a good time. You two deserve it. DragonsLair He is T. I am A.

05-11-2003, 09:42 AM	#6 (permalink)
Handyman69 Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 553 Location: MI..God's country.so we thought. Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:handyman69	Hey Cuz, We had that experince and it was also our first time to go to a club too. Anxiety....gitters...well I was a basket case. But went, met and enjoyed. Don't know if it works in all cases but it did that time. All I can say is give it a chance..... Rhonda

05-11-2003, 11:34 AM	#8 (permalink)
Alura Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,136 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	If you meet them and don't like them, you will have lost nothing. If you like them, however, Alura

05-11-2003, 02:03 PM	#10 (permalink)
BradAndJanet Only slightly cracked... Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 7,071 Location: Seattle Status: Married Couple	Sometimes, you know, we just have to step off into the unknown and see what happens... I agree with DragonsLair, you two deserve some R&R. -B
	__________________ "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain All about us...

05-12-2003, 02:16 PM	#11 (permalink)
velbuzz Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 325 Location: Bradford County, PA Status: MWC 59/56 Swing Lifestyle Name:velbuzz	one more vote to go for the gusto Lori I hope you are appreciating the encouragement you are getting to give it a go. I am sure your first foray into a swinging situation was similar. Now you have some people you trust saying come meet some people we think you might like. I think the risk of a few hours of dealing with people you may not like is worth the reward if the new couple is simpatico. Just think of the fun you can have. Bill and Sue

05-12-2003, 03:36 PM	#12 (permalink)
fun_pairTX Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,185 Location: Ennis, Texas Status: Couple	Think Positively You can "what if" yourself to death. This is all counterproductive to meeting people and making new friends. We went to meet 5 other couples "bowling" of all things. We all had a great time and all wound up naked on our living room floor 3 hours later. Look at the bright side.
	__________________ fun_pairTX

05-13-2003, 10:18 AM	#13 (permalink)
romance4me2 Registered Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 6 Location: Florida Status: couple	Way to go You go Tx. couple! Sounded like a simply delicious evening!
	__________________ Robin & Mark

05-13-2003, 02:53 PM	#14 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,288 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	It's not like you are meeting with strictly a new couple here. You know you are comfortable with the couple you are friends with and they are comfortable with this other couple. If you don't hit it off with the new couple to a point that you want to have sex with them, then hopefully you still have options open with the old couple... if not there's always your hubby. Or perhaps you have one big group play session where the old couple kinda switches off between you. There's really many options open there. I think the bigger question is what happens if you don't even hit it off with them socially. Like you have dinner with the other 2 couples and you discover that you really can't stand this new couple. Then what? If it were me, I think I'd have to politely dismiss us and head home. It would suck to lose out on a chance to possibly play with the old couple, but if you are that uncomfortable with the new couple then it would be for the best.
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

05-23-2003, 07:26 AM	#15 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	Well, I finally convinced myself that it was worth giving it a shot. I had a less than fun experience a while back and that is another reason that we stepped back out of swinging. Nothing really major, I just didn't know how to say "no", or "please don't do that". I needed to work through that issue myself. Needless to say my husband is doing his best to contain his excitement. We have had quite a bit of contact with this other couple via e-mail and one phone conversation. They seem really nice and as the other couple had said, "We think that you'll like them". I must admit that we do. We, (all three couples) are working on a date that works for all of us, it's looking like mid June at this point. Geesh, I feel new all over again....
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

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