Couple interested in wife but not me

[big_ems]

There is a couple, that wants to have a intimate relationship with my wife, but does not want to include me. I talk to the lady, all the time, and she says my wife wouldn't have sex with them if I was present. She says my wife needs to have time to know them, before I enter into the situation. She has talked about being with her husband, when he does my wife, and her only being there for comfort to my wife. Kind of like a coach or something. She did mention that after a few times with him and my wife, she would like to have sex with her too. Perhaps a one on one with my wife.

I have asked her, if I could just watch, and she said in due time. I asked about doing her, but she says she only likes black guys with large endowments, and I don't fit the bill either way.

I am williing to let them do want they want as long as the wife is favorable to it too. She has told me that she wanted me there while they screwed, but the couple says no way. What should I do?

[sweet_tna]

Sounds like this couple wants to go where you're not comfortable going. That is reason enough to pass them by. That your wife wants you present as well and they still aren't okay with it is the kiss of death.

There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

[VegasLee]

If your wife wants you there, and you want to be there and the other couple does not want to agree with it then don't play with the other couple.

Sometimes, many times two couples can not agree on what they want or are all attracted to each other. When that happens keep it simple, move on and find a couple that works for the both of you.

[LikeMinds321]

This is all so wrong in so many ways.

I get the feeling you've been e-mailing with this "woman" of the couple quite a bit and you've probably shared information with her that you haven't shared with us in your OP that caused "her" to make these requests. Nonetheless, this whole thing smells of rotten fish to me.

I looked at your Swing Lifestyle profile and you're brand new at this and haven't any experience with swinging. I think someone is trying to take advantage of you in the worst way.

I don't think this "couple" is a couple at all. I don't think it's even a woman writing to you. I think it's a man, alone, who has contacted you and is pretending to be the woman of couple. He wants to meet with your wife privately. Who knows what he would do to her! Simply stated, this "couple" is a fake.

I have to wonder about your motivation for even considering such a proposal. Your profile is written from a very one-sided stance...your wife seems only marginally interested in swinging. You seem to be the one eager to give it a try. I can't understand why you would even consider sending your wife off alone to play for the first time without you unless you hope this will give you what you want in the end.

Drop this "couple" pronto.

LM

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by big_ems

There is a couple, that wants to have a intimate relationship with my wife, but does not want to include me. I talk to the lady, all the time, and she says my wife wouldn't have sex with them if I was present. She says my wife needs to have time to know them, before I enter into the situation.

Who is she, some person online, to tell you what your wife needs or wants? Isn't that up to you and your wife to know?? I agree with LM. You are being scammed and manipulated.

#1 rule in swinging: what you do and who you do it with, and how you go about it, is between you and your partner to decide and agree on. Don't let anybody else tell you what you need to do. You and your wife both know that you want to be together as a couple, and that swinging is for the two of you to do together, as a couple. Do not let others dictate to you!

Run away from those people, don't walk!

Does your wife read this board, too? You'll get real support and good information here.

[Tybee Swing]

I just read your profile, too. You say on it that your wife is very "questionable" about the lifestyle, and that she hasn't gotten her questions answered about it.

There is probably no better place for that on the 'net than this board. Are you two seeking answers together? Make sure that your communication between you two is very good before you proceed. Make sure that you're respecting her wishes and boundaries along the way.

[ncmd_couple]

Big_EMS,

I echo what the others have said. This a personal security situation that should be sounding alarm bells in your head that I could hear up here! I also want to reiterate that if you wife has questions, this is the place for her to get answers.

S

[ibn battuta]

Ditto to the above posts. Something is wrong here, and you shouldn't let yourself get pressured into a situation you and/or your partner isn't 100% comfortable with. I am sure there are plenty of other fish in the sea that will understand and respect your boundaries.

[Ellyanne77]

Wheew, It will be a cold day in hell before another couple tells me what my wife is going to do without my consent or comfort. I better end this post, I feel it making the Dr.Jekll side of me come out..

[JustAskJulie]

As others have said rather than talking to the female half of another couple about what your wife wants and what's best for her, you need to be talking to your wife. No where in your post have you told us that your wife has told you anything

[Alura]

I can't really add to what the others have said. That it is unanimous should tell you that this is a very dangerous situation y'all don't want to go near!

Mr. Alura

[curious_2for2]

Although we're rather new here, we'd be pulling out the red flags and waving them all over the place. If mutual participation is important to you, then these people aren't for you. There's plenty of good people out there to help you learn the pleasures...

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by big_ems

She has told me that she wanted me there while they screwed, but the couple says no way. What should I do?

Respect your wife's wishes and expect the same from the other couple. If she wants you there, but they don't, then move on. There are other fish in the sea.

This is a couple I wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole. You guys have to play YOUR WAY. I wouldn't put up with ultimatums. If your wife wanted to play alone - and you supported that - I'd say go for it; just don't expect the three of them ever to invite you into the picture - you may be in for a let down.

But since she doesn't want to play without you, then there really isn't an issue here.

Spoomonkey

[fun4Ds]

big ems, I would like to welcome you to the swingers board, but I'm really thankful that you came here. Presenting something like this to others was a very wise thing to do. These people, or woman, if there really is a woman involved, are misleading you to say the least. Everything about this, as you can see from others in this lifestyle here. say,

DANGER... BIG TIME... DANGER

If what you say is going on with you and the other woman, do you talk to her in person, Face to Face? Or , is this someone that is leading you in this direction through chatting on- line? or e-mails?

Has your wife ever spoke with this other woman, on the phone or in person?

[big_ems]

I have been talking to the wife of the couple on yahoo messenger. My wife has met both of them at her store, but hasn't had time to sit and talk to them. I know she is real, and who I am talking to, because of the way she types, and the kind of work she does. Her husband is a farmer, and is out farming, or working on equipment during the day. She works in an office, with a computer, and talks on it at work. These people are real. They have been swingers for 25 years, so they say. I have talked to other couples in their area, and they talk highly of them.

They're excuse is that since my wife is new to swinging, they should be able to coach her in that way, and that she might open up to them differently, than if I was there. In a way it makes sense, in a way it doesn't. Wife told me, even if she does consider swinging, we are doing it together.