Couple interested in wife but not me

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by big_ems

Wife told me, even if she does consider swinging, we are doing it together.

Case closed...

Spoomonkey

[socolais]

Originally Posted by big_ems

They're excuse is that since my wife is new to swinging, they should be able to coach her in that way, and that she might open up to them differently, than if I was there.

I can't imagine the logic behind that statement. If it's not flat out wrong, it's at least on some fringe of swinging....

[TNT]

Originally Posted by big_ems

I am williing to let them do want they want as long as the wife is favorable to it too. She has told me that she wanted me there while they screwed, but the couple says no way. What should I do?

Not meaning to be mean or cold hearted here but...seriously, this is a no brainer. What should you do? STOP listening to this couple and think for yourselves.

Originally Posted by big_ems

They have been swingers for 25 years, so they say. I have talked to other couples in their area, and they talk highly of them.

They're excuse is that since my wife is new to swinging, they should be able to coach her in that way, and that she might open up to them differently, than if I was there. In a way it makes sense, in a way it doesn't. Wife told me, even if she does consider swinging, we are doing it together.

I don't care how long they have been into swinging or how highly they are talked about by others...this is NOT...repeat...NOT about what they want. This is about what you and your wife want.

If your wife cannot open up to you, then swinging is not something either of you should be doing.

Your wife has said you are doing it together...to quote Spoomonkey..."Case closed". Tell this other couple thanks but no thanks and move on. There are many, many couples in swinging who will be willing to move at a pace you and your wife will be comfortable with.

NEVER let someone talk you into doing something you are not comfortable with. You are not comfortable with this couple and neither is your wife.



Teresa

[BCinIN]

MAJOR red flags here. I can see a lot of problems for you particularly in the near future should you accept this situation, unless you like being a pushover. I hate to be so blunt about it, but that's honestly all this is: they want you to let them have their way with your wife however they want, and for you to just take a hike! Very bad news in my opinion. My advice is to look for a couple that will respect both of you and your wishes.

[Chicup]

You wife has a better head on her shoulders than you have.

Follow her feelings.

[Sico_tiko]

Sir i dont belive what they are saying, they seem to me uncomfortable i couldnt trrust someone who only wants my partner. try to take ur wife away

[BiloxiCouple]

no no no no no no no no no nono no no no no no no no

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by big_ems

My wife has met both of them at her store, but hasn't had time to sit and talk to them.

So this isn't just a Cyber thing as I first thought. Even though I now know they are real and your wife has met this couple, my advice is still not to play with them.

I'm curious as to how these people came upon your wife at her store? Had they already contacted you online previous to them showing up at her store? Did you reveal to them where your wife worked, and then they showed up unannounced, without invitation?

When starting out as "newbies" it isn't unusual to feel you should go along with what more experienced swingers who contact you to play suggest you do. You may be saying to yourself that you don't know much about swinging and they do. Be careful that you don't become passive and let those who want to swing with you do all the thinking for you. If you are too eager to jump into swinging there can be a tendency to do that.

You and your wife's guidelines and comfort levels should always be priority; any swingers who are worthy of you (no matter how new to swinging they are or how long they've been playing) will understand this and honor your rules for play. If they can't, they will say, "Thanks for your interest, but we aren't compatible."

LM

[sweet_tna]

Just because ya'll are new doesn't mean you throw your common sense and intuition out the window. More experienced couples don't know everything just 'cause they have more experience. And this couple most certainly does NOT appear to know what's best for you and your wife. What's best for ya'll is to find SOMEONE ELSE to play with, who will RESPECT your boundaries.

Like Spoo said, "case closed".

[redgirlwithfrec]

Moer experienced couples would not be doing that to you if they were not being selfish like this couple is. Seriously find someone you are more compaticle with, where all 4 of you will have an enjoyable time, You said already that your wife wants you there. If you want to be friends with this couple fine but we would not go near them. They are looking for their 3some and that is all it seems. Don't let them take advantage of you in this way.

[Reef99]

Originally Posted by big_ems

There is a couple, that wants to have a intimate relationship with my wife, but does not want to include me. I talk to the lady, all the time, and she says my wife wouldn't have sex with them if I was present. She says my wife needs to have time to know them, before I enter into the situation. She has talked about being with her husband, when he does my wife, and her only being there for comfort to my wife. Kind of like a coach or something. She did mention that after a few times with him and my wife, she would like to have sex with her too. Perhaps a one on one with my wife.

I have asked her, if I could just watch, and she said in due time. I asked about doing her, but she says she only likes black guys with large endowments, and I don't fit the bill either way.

I am williing to let them do want they want as long as the wife is favorable to it too. She has told me that she wanted me there while they screwed, but the couple says no way. What should I do?

These people sound like they are control freaks. Run as fast as you can from them! There is no way I would let someone tell us "my wife wouldn't have sex with them if I was present."

Everything about this situation is just wrong! Nasty wrong!!!!

[MRSfun]

big ums, my husband fun4ds chatted with you some last night in a private chat.He was concerned about your well being and your wifes safety.. From the sounds of this thread as you can see, many honest swingers in this lifestyle are trying to give just that. Good advice. Its not a perfect world, we found that out the hard way. And your putting your trust in the hands of others here. I'm not trying to disclose what you two may have shared personally.Thats between you and him, but i was here.

I think what others are missing here is that you made the contact with this couple. IT is your wife who doesn't feel comfortable with this lifestyle. You asked these people to help her understand what it is you want. I get the feeling that this is not something either of you have done blindly. Without checking these peoples background.

I feel YOU have gone about this in a poor way, your actions. Not you personally,your wife,or even the other couple.I don't feel anyone, between all of you are bad people.But the way you talked about this, it certainly makes this couple seem like evil villains.

That being said we welcome you, and MRS. Big Ums to the swingers board.

This is more of a situation about you and her playing separate, or alone at your request. We don't follow that type of lifestyle for personal reasons, but we don't hold it against others who can or do.Your wife has let everyone know that nothing is going to happen without her permission. (Shes my kinda gal now).There are others here who play alone that would have a very good understand and experience of playing alone. We hope both of you can join in on any conversations here and share some ideas or thoughts from you or Mrs.big ums about her feelings. Hang in there and talk between you two. Take things slow.

[djjwp]

Sounds like they want her and not you, NEXT! Cut the conversation and move on, they are not being fair or realistic, all four need to agree or nothing in our rule book.

[BiloxiCouple]

The reason everyone is saying NO in a very loud voice in the information originally given. If we have or get more information like MRSfun has access to then we can adjust our opinions based on that information.

We can only talk about what you have given us. For us to help you more if you want it, you need to come back to this post and give us the information to work with. Or just tell us you have made your decision and leave it at that. We are here for you.

The basic rule of thumb for us is that it is all about us.

[Bunny&Ed]

Alarm, Alarm, yes, too all thee above..

Stay away, danger will robinson!

This reminds me of the expression, "I'm allergic to condoms..."

WHAT! You have got to be kidding. Only her and not you...something is rotton in the water...My advise, don't drink the water...Run away as fast as you can....

There are so many other fish in the sea, wait and find the right ones..There is no rush...

Your gut feeling will not lead you wrong, it's your bodies natural alarm system to warn you of danger.