Discouraged or Frustrated with swinging: Not sure where to go from here

MrsVan · 09-07-2006, 12:23 PM

Hello everyone! Feeling a little discouraged and frustrated lately wanted to see if any of you had some words of encouragement for MrVan and I. As some of you recall, we started the lifestyle back in January. We have met some great people in the lifestyle some that became friends and others that we would just get together and play with only.

The problem is this:

MrVan and I have started to fall into a rut where it seems that all the people we did meet and play with, have all disappeared (either too busy, or took time off from the lifestyle or we just never hear back from them) then you have those that we still keep in contact with. We continue to look for new couples and singles but we either get turned down, no response or we get to see actual pics of them and they are not what we are looking for....Sounding familiar yet?

We are not barbie and ken, and we do not look for that ourselves. So I do not think that we are being picky or selective with the people we meet. I do not think that we are unattractive but we are more in the middle. But it just seems lately that there is no action for us, we can't get singles or couples to have fun with. I have read before where it is common but it just is so discouraging and frustrating at times cause when we do find couples and they want to meet, we make arrangements and then never hear from them again before we were schedule to meet up.

Does anyone have advise or words of wisdom to share?

Thanks,

MrsVan

playmatesinpgh · 09-07-2006, 01:49 PM

Mrs. P and I have had this happen to us several times over the years. Sometimes we have more couples to meet and/or play with then we can possibily handle and other times we go weeks and can't seem to meet or play with anyone. It just seems to go in cycles for whatever reason.

Just hang it there and try not to get to frustrated. It will come around...

Roman Hands · 09-07-2006, 01:49 PM

We were just talking about this same subject last night. We think it is simply a "time of the year" problem. Summer is wrapping up

, people are gearing up for getting kids back in school. New jobs, new homes, old chores, etc...,etc...

It seems like the seasonal transitions from fall to winter,winter to spring and spring to summer, flow rather smoothly for the most part. But for some reason, that summer to fall transition is a tough one.

Maybe because the kid in us remembers how much fun summer vacation was, and how we never wanted it to end!

**good times** · 09-07-2006, 03:14 PM

Yep, have to agree with the others here, it just goes in waves. We too have times when we don't have enough time to accomadate all the people who we would like to play with. Then we will have a stretch were we don't hook up with anybody for a few weeks. At first we would get a bit worried about the dry spells too, but now we just kind of take it in stride.

Spoomonkey · 09-07-2006, 07:29 PM

Swinging is so damn seasonal. We have had ruts like crazy - only to get pulled out by some incredible couple, single or truck with hefty wench.

And then we'll go through this spurt of excitement that doesn't seem to stop...

Until it just stops...

Which leaves us back in a rut...

For us - we go from feeling like the "IT" couple to being the couple who must smell like "IT". It really is that way for most of us.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsVan

We are not barbie and ken

When you want someone to make you feel like you are, shoot me an e-mail facelick

Spoomonkey

ohash01 · 09-07-2006, 07:56 PM

We haven't been swinging long enough to have hit a dryspell yet...we have yet to hit a wet spell. *sigh* We've been talking to a couple couples. The one couple is moving very slowly and the other is moving almost too quickly. They border on pushy, but it's not an offensive pushy just a "can't you rearrange your schedule?" pushy.

I'm getting antsy and perhaps a little frustrated. Ash has major antsies in her pantsies. I feel occassionally like I want to stand in the middle of Broad and High and shout "I'M READY!! COME GET ME!"

Spoomonkey · 09-07-2006, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohash01

I feel occassionally like I want to stand in the middle of Broad and High and shout "I'M READY!! COME GET ME!"

Stand closer to High and Fifth... Easier there...

But - if you discriminate, then stay away from there. Very, very far away from there...

Spoomonkey

ohash01 · 09-07-2006, 08:18 PM

HAHA!! I lived on High and King for a year. I hear ya...

But I don't dicriminate based upon age, race, or creed. However...I do disciminate based on personality. I like nice people. Haha.

Spoomonkey · 09-07-2006, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohash01

But I don't dicriminate based upon age, race, or creed. However...I do disciminate based on personality. I like nice people. Haha.

I discriminate based on whether or not they have just drunk-stumbled up to me and asked me for change...

Spoomonkey

ohash01 · 09-07-2006, 08:28 PM

That's true as well.

Got some change? *shakes bra cups* Hehe.

MrsVan · 09-07-2006, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

When you want someone to make you feel like you are, shoot me an e-mail facelick

Spoomonkey

Spoomonkey,

I am always up for a guy to make me feel like Barbie

I may have to take you up on that offer facelick

MrsVan

Spoomonkey · 09-07-2006, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohash01

Got some change? *shakes bra cups* Hehe.

Now THAT might work...

Depending, of course, on the bra

Spoomonkey

PS - MrsVan, I aim to please

ohash01 · 09-07-2006, 08:50 PM

Look at how we just ruined this perfectly nice post Spoo. I apologize for us taking it soooo off track.

Pepper & Drew · 09-07-2006, 10:48 PM

Yep, it's feast or famine in the swinger world. We've had nearly two months of "drought"....visiting families, traveling to visit family, me being a little under the weather, friends with family obligations, etc.....oh yeah, and the ungodly heat!!!!! Now, we're getting all sorts of emails on sls, just met a new couple, made contacts with some friends who we haven't seen in a while and WHAM...things are looking up. It happens. Don't get discouraged OR frustrated. It'll change soon.

Pepper

Dooode · 09-07-2006, 10:56 PM

"Yep, it's feast or famine in the swinger world."

Yup. Gotta go with that too. With me tho, spring and fall is feast, where winter and summer is famine. I don't mind; I get to play around on the boards and meet you fine folks for discussions and idea-exchanging.

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09-07-2006, 12:23 PM	#1 (permalink)
MrsVan Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 667 Location: Ohio Status: M.Female SLS Name:MrMrsVanHlebar	Discouraged or Frustrated with swinging: Not sure where to go from here Hello everyone! Feeling a little discouraged and frustrated lately wanted to see if any of you had some words of encouragement for MrVan and I. As some of you recall, we started the lifestyle back in January. We have met some great people in the lifestyle some that became friends and others that we would just get together and play with only. The problem is this: MrVan and I have started to fall into a rut where it seems that all the people we did meet and play with, have all disappeared (either too busy, or took time off from the lifestyle or we just never hear back from them) then you have those that we still keep in contact with. We continue to look for new couples and singles but we either get turned down, no response or we get to see actual pics of them and they are not what we are looking for....Sounding familiar yet? We are not barbie and ken, and we do not look for that ourselves. So I do not think that we are being picky or selective with the people we meet. I do not think that we are unattractive but we are more in the middle. But it just seems lately that there is no action for us, we can't get singles or couples to have fun with. I have read before where it is common but it just is so discouraging and frustrating at times cause when we do find couples and they want to meet, we make arrangements and then never hear from them again before we were schedule to meet up. Does anyone have advise or words of wisdom to share? Thanks, MrsVan

09-07-2006, 01:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
playmatesinpgh Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 136 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa Status: Couple SLS Name:LvrofBBWs	Re: Discouraged or Frustrated, not sure! Mrs. P and I have had this happen to us several times over the years. Sometimes we have more couples to meet and/or play with then we can possibily handle and other times we go weeks and can't seem to meet or play with anyone. It just seems to go in cycles for whatever reason. Just hang it there and try not to get to frustrated. It will come around... __________________ Leave the lights on...We don't eat anything we can't see!!! facelick

09-07-2006, 01:49 PM	#3 (permalink)
Roman Hands Active Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 41 Location: Twain Harte Status: Couple with bi-male SLS Name:Romantop	Re: Discouraged or Frustrated, not sure! We were just talking about this same subject last night. We think it is simply a "time of the year" problem. Summer is wrapping up , people are gearing up for getting kids back in school. New jobs, new homes, old chores, etc...,etc... It seems like the seasonal transitions from fall to winter,winter to spring and spring to summer, flow rather smoothly for the most part. But for some reason, that summer to fall transition is a tough one. Maybe because the kid in us remembers how much fun summer vacation was, and how we never wanted it to end!

09-07-2006, 03:14 PM	#4 (permalink)
good times Mod Squad Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 6,400 Location: Reno, Nevada Status: Married to Mrs Good Times SLS Name:randp	Re: Discouraged or Frustrated, not sure! Yep, have to agree with the others here, it just goes in waves. We too have times when we don't have enough time to accomadate all the people who we would like to play with. Then we will have a stretch were we don't hook up with anybody for a few weeks. At first we would get a bit worried about the dry spells too, but now we just kind of take it in stride. __________________ R (He is R, she is P)

09-07-2006, 07:56 PM	#6 (permalink)
ohash01 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 535 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	Re: Discouraged or Frustrated, not sure! We haven't been swinging long enough to have hit a dryspell yet...we have yet to hit a wet spell. sigh We've been talking to a couple couples. The one couple is moving very slowly and the other is moving almost too quickly. They border on pushy, but it's not an offensive pushy just a "can't you rearrange your schedule?" pushy. I'm getting antsy and perhaps a little frustrated. Ash has major antsies in her pantsies. I feel occassionally like I want to stand in the middle of Broad and High and shout "I'M READY!! COME GET ME!"

09-07-2006, 08:18 PM	#8 (permalink)
ohash01 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 535 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	Re: Discouraged or Frustrated, not sure! HAHA!! I lived on High and King for a year. I hear ya... But I don't dicriminate based upon age, race, or creed. However...I do disciminate based on personality. I like nice people. Haha.

09-07-2006, 08:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
ohash01 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 535 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	Re: Discouraged or Frustrated, not sure! That's true as well. Got some change? shakes bra cups Hehe.

09-07-2006, 08:50 PM	#13 (permalink)
ohash01 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 535 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	Re: Discouraged or Frustrated, not sure! Look at how we just ruined this perfectly nice post Spoo. I apologize for us taking it soooo off track.

09-07-2006, 10:48 PM	#14 (permalink)
Pepper & Drew Mmmmm...tasty! Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 1,021 Location: Hurricane Alley Status: Couple SLS Name:alhedonists	Re: Discouraged or Frustrated, not sure! Yep, it's feast or famine in the swinger world. We've had nearly two months of "drought"....visiting families, traveling to visit family, me being a little under the weather, friends with family obligations, etc.....oh yeah, and the ungodly heat!!!!! Now, we're getting all sorts of emails on sls, just met a new couple, made contacts with some friends who we haven't seen in a while and WHAM...things are looking up. It happens. Don't get discouraged OR frustrated. It'll change soon. Pepper __________________ "Swinging is a lot like riding a Harley, ...for those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't, no explanation is possible." --Mr. Alura

09-07-2006, 10:56 PM	#15 (permalink)
Dooode Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 281 Location: Florida Status: Single Male	Re: Discouraged or Frustrated, not sure! "Yep, it's feast or famine in the swinger world." Yup. Gotta go with that too. With me tho, spring and fall is feast, where winter and summer is famine. I don't mind; I get to play around on the boards and meet you fine folks for discussions and idea-exchanging.

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