Selecting Swing partners - On-line vs. In person

[HappyPeople]

A spin off from the "Being 'selective' stinks" thread (http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...d.php?t=26636)...

Do you feel that there is a difference between your on-line and In person selection process?



We definately have a great difference in our selection process. Considering how much time as we spend on-line, we're suprisingly less comfortable with the on-line method of meeting folks. We find people very attractive in person that we probably wouldn't if we had viewed a profile of thiers.

[JustAskJulie]

I have to agree with you that I would definately find more people attractive in person than I would online. It's hard to get a real feel for people when you are talking to them online.

[CuriousInOregon]

I agree In person is the way to go for us

[Chicup]

I find online to be VERY akward in the inital 'chat' type session.

Text only is an awful way to tell someones personality.

We will most likely have to start doing the clubs more, though that has its own issues too.

[WesternSwing]

I can truthfully say that there have people online that we had no interest in, but when we met in person there was definite chemistry. This is why we like parties so much, you get to see the real people and what they are really like.

Mr. WS

[Amanda69]

It is very difficult to get a sense of true personality or attractiveness on line. In person is the only way we go...

[columbiacouple]

I'd have to say that we're the complete oposite of the responses posted to this thread so far. By far the best experiences we've had in the lifestyle have been with people we've met online. Granted we've met our share of those that things didn't work out with as well. The difference for us is that the couples we meet online we tend to end up meeting in one on one situations rather than at parties. We're quite outgoing and comfortable in SMALL group situations like that, so we tend to make good connections that way. Put us in a party atmosphere though (ie lots of people), and we both become invisible very quickly (most of the time anyway). So I guess for us it's not so much meeting online vs live as it is meeting live in a more intimate setting vs in a group setting.

Mr. C

[The Fuse]

We've only been to one club event (last weekend) and one smaller, private party so far. Other than that, we've met everyone through SLS. Like columbiacouple, we prefer the more 2-on-2 setting.

I do all the emailing and most of the searching for Mr. Fuse and me, so I won't make light of the work involved. (Sometimes he forgets how much work it is.) Of the people we've met with after SLS contact, we've probably played with around half or more. We have had good success partly because we talk to the people beforehand, and try to take steps to ensure we meet compatible people. If a couple is gorgeous but won't share information or is pushy, we won't meet with them. I like to ask certain questions, like "how bi is your lady?" and "will you full swap with the right couple?", etc. that way there are fewer unknowns by the time you've fired up the car to go out.

At the club, we could easily have played with people, but I seldom want to jump into bed before talking to a person for the time it takes to have dinner. I guess I just feel a little rushed in the club atmosphere. It takes a little time to make sure they are a stable couple and won't do something weird during or after play. That being said, we had a great time and will probably go again. Next time we'll go with someone we already know and want to play with.

Maybe as we become more experienced, we'll feel more comfortable playing with people we've just met. Also, as we attend more club events, we'll meet the same people again and get to know them a little better.

Overall, we still like the more relaxed environment of meeting 2-on-2 with people we connect with online.

[discoandvyper]

With the exception of the first two couples we played with, everything we've ever done was with people we met online. Wait, strike that, everything except the first two couples and a few random single or single-for-the-night girls.

Given that most of our experiences are from the net, I'd have to say that the net is a decent way to find people. We tend to judge people on spelling and grammar though, so to our own detriment we've probably let some great opportunities go by.

In the end in person and on the net are probably neck and neck with good chances to meet someone.

[Pepper & Drew]

Although we've met a few cool couples online, the majority of them we've met face-to-face. Some people just don't come across as witty and their pictures don't look as good as they do in person. I think I tend to be a lot pickier online than in person. Since I tend to base attraction on a lot more than just the physical, rarely does their true personality come out in an online profile.

Pepper

[LICouple4u]

Since we don't go to clubs, we meet our playmates online. We only get out a few times a month, IF we're lucky, so we have time to 'screen' potential playmates.

I realize we may be missing out on some couples due to this, but we're not about to go to the clubs. Unfortunately we've had a few bad experiences which soured our tastes for now. I won't say never though - one isn't sure what the future brings

[2GirlsGoodBenBa]

Everyone we've played with or have met face-to-face we interacted with first on the i-net. It just seems a lot easier to meet and talk with people and ultimately just meet afterwards rather than the pressures with meeting in-person at a club or party. In large groups we either fade into the background or are constantly thrust into the forefront and want to know someone is interested in us both for what we want as well and not just a lay in that particular time and space.

[chaddd]

i would have to vote with in person...