Being 'selective' stinks

[tribbles]

Would you have sex with someone in swinging that you wouldn't have sex with were you a single'.

Chicup,

If I were single and just looking for sex...I'd have sex with anyone I met at a club that seemed like fun. Pretty much like we do now.

If I were looking for a more long term relationship, then all the married guys and gals are off the table.

Some of the BEST sex I've ever enjoyed with semi-strangers were not physically appealing but they sure knew what to do.
S

[CuriousInOregon]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Do you think of yourself as picky?
Is it the male half of the couple or female half that is the most picky?
Do you play with couples who’s other half you wouldn’t date if you were vanilla?

I the female half am more picky than mr. Curious. He is your typical Human where its nice to get a great body, great sense of humor, well rounded person BUT as we alllllllll know its not like that very often in the Vanilla world so its even harder in the Lifestyle to find, So he is perfectly ok with a great sense of humor and personality and he will forgo any body type (within reason) I on the other hand being a woman of Bigger stature have big ol issues, I have been called a Hypocrite among other things because I do not prefer being with bigger guys I like Skinny not even Muscles just plain ol skinny and because of this I have turned away many people (not to say that if Mr Muscles walked in and said hey baby lets go I would turn him down) BUT its not my preference so yes I am picky much more than Mr curious BUT I still get mine so its A ok

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Chicup

The 'date' question: I didn't phrase that well. Instead of date what I should have said was something more like 'Would you have sex with someone in swinging that you wouldn't have sex with were you a single'. Dating implies a long term relationship.

This clarification helps a lot.

For simply recreational sex, married or single (I was single-again from age 39 - early 40's), I would choose the same now with swinging as I did when single -- more open to different types than what I would date. I had my first FMF while I was single a few years ago, and I wouldn't have dated or married the husband of the couple I was with (if he'd been available). He was very nice (intelligent, personable, well groomed, sexually skilled), the experience was very good and quite memorable for me, but he was not at all my type physically.

[good times]

21 years ago, when I was last single I was very picky and, as I said before, I wouldn't have sex with anyone unless they had long term potential. That is probably why I had only a couple of other sex partners before Mrs. GT. If I were to become single again for some reason, I would probably be no pickier than I am now in swinging.

[ohcpl43952]

Originally Posted by tribbles

Well.....fuck them all fast before that happens and you will have more fun"......

Or as they might say in the military: Fuck 'em all, let god sort 'em out.

We're not very picky. Hey... it's meaningless sex.... for FUN!

But to each their own.

[prettylady]

Originally Posted by Chicup

I’ve never been after perfection but I’m looking for a body type, personality, and education that is hard to find all three in.

Hey Chicup I have an education, a personality, an a body type!!!
3 for 3

I too am probably going to be picky when my time comes

Your friend,
Prettylady

[HappyPeople]

Do you think of yourself as picky?

On-line, yes because there is no "vibe" to go off of. We pretty much have given up with meeting folks on-line because a few pictures and paragraphs don't tell us enough about them to know if we'd be interested or not. In person; however, we are moderately picky in that we won't go with just anyone but our "standards" are much more relaxed and it's more about having fun.

Is it the male half of the couple or female half that is the most picky?

We're pretty much on the same page.

Do you play with couples who’s other half you wouldn’t date if you were vanilla?

Yes, but not extreme cases.

[LICouple4u]

Hubby is the more selective of the two of us. I enjoy men who are a little bigger, but I'm flexible (well, physically too lol) Hubby prefers a particular type of woman. The tough part is when I've contacted a couple, really like the gentleman and he vetoes due to the woman

A personality is a must though for me at least and I believe with hubby as well. That's just part of the turn on for us.

Whether you are or aren't selective - if you are comfortable with it, that's all that matters!

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by LICouple4u

Hubby prefers a particular type of woman.

I am so interested and curious about this. What is the one particular type he's only interested in?

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Do you think of yourself as picky?

No, not picky, but selective. We do have a wide strike zone though, and like you we have certain criteria when looking for playmates. I would say our strike zone in physical appearance is wider then our strike zone in attraction issues such as intelligence, personality, etc., which seem to play more into the chemistry-end of finding a playmate.

Is it the male half of the couple or female half that is the most picky?

I think we're equal on this point. But, I will say that while Mrs. WS and I usually have the same taste in women, she has surprised me with being attracted to men I thought she wouldn't be. So I leave that to her and don't try to second guess who she'll like and who she won't.

Do you play with couples who’s other half you wouldn’t date if you were vanilla?

In 20/20 hindsight it's happened, but at the time it seemed like the type I'd date if I was vanilla.

Mr. WS

[LICouple4u]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

I am so interested and curious about this. What is the one particular type he's only interested in?

Maybe 'particular type' is not the right phrase... there are certain qualities he wants the ladies to have... One of them is to take pride in their appearance. Not that they have to be stick thin, but at least take care of themselves. He likes a 'cute' woman.

He likes things that aren't quite describable (hmm, did I make a new word? lol), but I usually know them when I see them (or he points them out to me).

Recently we met a couple where I've hit it off with the male and female (though it's a straight couple) but he just was not attracted to the female, so it was a no-go

[kenora_guy]

I being a single male who is bi-adventurous /(tri-sexual?) am less picky when looking for couples than if I was looking for someone to date...

As far as you’re rephrasing the question Chicup (for basic pickup and sex), since I never tried to picking up a single for a quick lay I don't know... my guess is that my standards are about the same... I need some looks (can't be a 'dog' and with rare exception no larger than Wal-Mart’s BBW sizes); must be clean (no hard drugs, diseases, and recently showered), can utter educated sentences (more than "I'm free do you want to phuck?" and shouldn’t use pejoratives in ever sentence... ); and the couple must come off as they both want the thing to happen (if one looks hesitant/or doesn't chat online without good reason)... Otherwise, I move on.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by LICouple4u

Maybe 'particular type' is not the right phrase... there are certain qualities he wants the ladies to have... One of them is to take pride in their appearance. Not that they have to be stick thin, but at least take care of themselves. He likes a 'cute' woman.

He likes things that aren't quite describable (hmm, did I make a new word? lol), but I usually know them when I see them (or he points them out to me).

Recently we met a couple where I've hit it off with the male and female (though it's a straight couple) but he just was not attracted to the female, so it was a no-go

Thanks for the explanation! I totally relate to the way your hubbie picks them...it's the same for me. I am attracted to different "types", but certainly those who take pride in their appearance and grooming. There's got to be that certain chemistry spark to set off my "interested" button, which isn't as easy to define.

Some men are only attracted to certain hair colors or breast size, or some other particular feature or set of features like that. This is what I envisioned being a "particular type only" kind of guy. We know of one guy in our area who writes in great detail in their profile how only women with very small breasts need apply, and no others will be considered. LOL We met them at a gathering and recognized them from their profile. He was unattractive. His wife was the only woman at the whole event that he would have considered - she was very skinny and probably AA cup. Everybody else had bigger boobs and were not worthy. Poor guy, destined to be a lonely swinger!

[LICouple4u]

I might have a chance with that guy Tybee - I'm barely a b cup!!! lol

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by LICouple4u

I might have a chance with that guy Tybee - I'm barely a b cup!!! lol

I'm sorry sweetheart, but you are far too curvy for this guy!! But trust me - you didn't miss out on anything.