Confused about standards in swinging... help!

[2inVT]

-what are your standards in how you choose playmates?

Personality. That's a big one for us. We like people who are clean, polite, friendly, and uninhibited.

-why do some swingers have NO standards and will screw anyone?

OK. I've read the replies here, and I just want to make one point. Some people are pickier than others. We ALL have standards. I find that when I like someone, I can always find something attractive about them. We all have different styles. Some folks like the one-night-stand type deal, others like the let's-be-friends approach. Some mix the two, depending on how they feel that night. Someone you may see as having no standards and screwing anyone may actually just be a lot more open about playmates.

Where do you draw the line on how many partners are too many? And does that even apply to swingers? It always amuses me to hear people saying that some swingers are too promiscuous.

-how important is it to be physically attracted/chemistry to someone for play?

Very important to us.

-I tiny shy part of me wanted to participate in the wet- contest, although once I saw what they had to do to win the judges over, I thought, there's NO way in HELL im gonna let 4 men I have never met (and were not attracted to) suck on my tits to win! It really made me question if id be able to do this swinging thing. If you have to be comfortable enough to do that, and im not, so does that mean swinging isnt for me?

Nope, just means you don't want 4 men you've never met and weren't attractive to sucking on your tits.

For some folks, this scenario is a fantasy come true. For other, it's not something they want to do. It's whatever works for YOU.

-or does it just mean im more discrete?

See above.

-are you picky about who your partner will be with? If not, why?

We play together, same room, usually same bed. All four (or more) of us have to get along for this to work. We won't play with a couple if either of us has a problem with either of them.

-if the women of the couple isnt bi and not interested in playing with me, should my opinion of her matter? since it will be between her and my man. Should I approve of her screwing my man? or let him totaly choose for himself if its a woman i wont play with or vise versa?

Depends on how you swing. Bi fem/fem play is not a necessity for us. It's a great bonus, but if the other lady is not interested, that's fine. I think your opinion of her should matter, but we tend to bear in mind that we aren't marrying these people, it's just sex. For us, the ladies have to get along, the men have to get along, and there has to be chemistry.


-If the woman in the couple is bisexual, and im not attracted to her, but I am attracted to her man, and my partner is into the woman... would it be appropriate to say we'll play but no fem/fem play, only male on female?

We ask beforehand if bi fem play is something they want. If I didn't want it, I would probably not tell them ahead of time unless asked - but, if ANYTHING starts to happen during playtime that either of us doesn't want, we simply say so at the time and move on to other activities we do want.