$300 for Sex - How much will/do you pay to swing? - The cost of swinging

[LikeMinds321]

How much will you pay for sex?

Since we began swinging a couple years ago it has turned out that we've always played on the first meet when we met a compatible couple. We've played with only a few couples and never expected to play on first meeting; it just happened that way.

Nearly everyone we've met lives 2 hours away. This means $50+ in gas, 1/2 hotel cost ($60+), drinks, maybe some dinner, club/bar entrance fees. It's always been fun and we have felt it was worth the money for a first meet that turned into swinging.

A few months ago Mr LM and I decided that we'd try not playing on the first meet, to see if that has some advantage. Reasons: On one occasion we probably wouldn't have played had we went home and took time to discuss some things that transpired during the meet, and with another couple we later found out that they felt things moved too fast (even though we've all continued to see each other) and so we wonder if more couples would prefer to wait until the second meet. The downside to this is cost.

We are traveling this weekend to meet a new couple and I just realized that if we wait until a second meet to swing (presuming we'll all want to swing) we will end up spending $300 to have sex! Our swing costs double with this wait-until-the-second-date approach. That's a lot of moolah for us.

The thought of this has put a damper on my outlook on swinging. It puts pressure on us to swing on the first meet, to have a hotel lined up when (if it turns out we're not compatible) we would prefer to drive home instead of staying overnight and incurring the cost of a hotel room that won't get used for swinging.

There are many reasons why we more often meet people out of town, but I won't go into those. Also, even if we are ready to jump in bed at this first meet, the other couple may prefer to wait, which still means big $$$ to play.

My questions: Do you take the cost of swinging into consideration when choosing playmates? How much influence does cost have? Do/Would the costs of swinging keep you from participating in the lifestyle?

LM

[DGrey]

We always keep the costs in mind. We are unable to entertain in our home even when we have outside babysitting for our daughter. We share a 3 family house with family and the walls are very thin. Kind of puts a damper on things.

Our first night out in the scene we were invited to a house party so there was no cost there except for the bar tab from the meet and greet. We don't frequent clubs so we don't incur those types of costs either.

We have a couple with whom we are close and most of the time, end up at their house. We recently met with a couple who were a little farther out that we'd normally travel but they had already extended the invitation to stay regardless of how the night progressed. It progressed just fine and breakfast the next morning was wonderful.

I couldn't see spending $300 to have sex though. We prefer to set up meetings with people who live close and can entertain because we can't. If we're invited into someone's home we always bring something and will pick up the bar/dinner tab though (assuming they let us).

E

[bear_and_babe]

Cost is one of the factors in our decision to keep our swing activities at swing clubs. I know a lot of people knock clubs, but we have found that it is more cost effective for us. If we go on a Friday night the cost is under $50. We tried the "one-on-one" dating and just got tired of getting stood up and all the hassle to set up a time and place to meet. And when we go to a club, even if we don't play Bear and I have a good time dancing, playing pool, hanging out in the hot tub and just being together. I know not everyone is into clubs or even have a club close by. I guess we are lucky that it only takes us 15 min. to get to ours.

[good times]

Well, if we have to travel real far then we have found that we just need to play multiple times in order to spread the cost out over several sex sessions. Therefore, the cost per sex session is lower than if we traveled a long way and only had sex once.

Seriously, we don't have to travel as far and spend as much as you do so it ends up working out to about the same cost as any other "night on the town" would cost for us. So it hasn't been much of a consideration so far.

[graygo98]

We haven't ever really thought much about the cost, except to marvel sometimes that you can have so much fun for often not that much money! God, dinner at a nice restaurant costs way more than a night at a club, and doesn't blow your hair back anywhere near the same.

But, then, we don't rack up the types of expenses LM was talking about. Not so much because of the money, though. We tend to avoid people from out of town because travelling seems to up the ante a lot, at least in our minds. If we and/or they are driving four hours or so to meet then it seems like the pressure to play would be there. We prefer to just get to know people on the first meet, with no pressure, no obligation.

Lucky we live in a pretty big town, I guess.

[EvilMJ]

How true LM, it can get pricey.

We like to go to the club - or hotel in this case, a room is probably $75.00, then there is babysitter that can be another $35-50.00. If you are drinking that can get costly, even if we bring drinks say $30.00. Did I mention the price of gas and a new outfit. The dance is $20.00. Wait even with those fees alone that's close to $150.00. It can costly but $300.00...umm..sorry never...I can't afford that at all.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by DGrey

We have a couple with whom we are close and most of the time, end up at their house. We recently met with a couple who were a little farther out that we'd normally travel but they had already extended the invitation to stay regardless of how the night progressed. It progressed just fine and breakfast the next morning was wonderful.

This sounds like our dream! Finding couples within 45 minutes of us - who, like us, don't have children at home - would allow us to trade off playing in each other's homes.

Once we feel we will continue a relationship with a couple we are happy to invite them to our home to play, however we never do this on a first play.

Originally Posted by bear and babe

I know not everyone is into clubs or even have a club close by. I guess we are lucky that it only takes us 15 min. to get to ours.

We only have a couple off-premise clubs that meet at a hotel once a month. With that there is still the cost of a hotel room. Also, when arranging a first meet with a couple from an ad site, trying to arrange to meet on that one date of the month the club meets has been difficult, and it's not usually the environment most couples would like to start with, including ourselves. We save the clubs for a night when Mr LM and I want to discover new people and say hello to other friends in the lifestyle whom we already know.

Originally Posted by graygo98

If we and/or they are driving four hours or so to meet then it seems like the pressure to play would be there.

Travel does place pressure on the meet, no matter how much both couples dislike pressure, it's there.


In our case we have been willing to travel because we have a very difficult time finding swingers either near our age or those open to meeting people our age - we're both in our fifties. Even though we are fit, attractive, and full of life, it does narrow the playing field considerably.

LM

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

[My questions: Do you take the cost of swinging into consideration when choosing playmates? How much influence does cost have? Do/Would the costs of swinging keep you from participating in the lifestyle?

The cost doesn't affect us participating overall, but it does affect how often we are able to!

There are no on-premise clubs anywhere near us. When we did go, it was the most expensive lifestyle thing we've done so far due to the distance, hotel, etc. etc. It was a big weekend hotel event. If we had a local club, I can see how this would be a great solution monetarily.

We meet and play with local couples. However, we've yet to be invited to anyone's home. We can't play at our home, due to family and discretion. I think many couples are in the same boat. By the time we eat out, have drinks, pay for a hotel and all of that, we are easily set back $150 or so -- and this is for local friends.

We've got medical bills and just won't strain the family budget, or put our play costs onto credit card debt, so we limit it due to cost.

[2jersey]

We can better rationalize the costs when we consider swinging as a form of entertainment – and an occasional substitute for our other entertainment options. Drinks and dancing, dinner and a movie, a ball game with peanuts and cracker jacks – they all entail costs. And we are conserving on some of these other entertainment costs by allocating part of our scarce entertainment time to swinging. So the incremental costs are not great.

Your secondary point is well taken, LM. Swinging is especially costly when you determine that you won’t play on the first date – double the costs, more-or-less. We decided at one point that we would try to screen partners pretty thoroughly before agreeing to meet, and we would decide in advance (by mutual agreement) whether play was even an option on the fist meet. As LM has alluded, there are pitfalls associated with rushing to play which are less easily rationalized than the added financial costs of having two meetings.

Unfortunately, the cost of two meetings in our NYC suburb are much higher than the $300 ($150 X 2) mentioned by LM (our hotel rooms run about $200, babysitters get $12 per hour and Martinis are $10 a pop, etc...). Fortunately, however, we don’t get too many opportunities to meet compatible people (or is that unfortunate?)

[NandTfromCA]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

We can better rationalize the costs when we consider swinging as a form of entertainment...

Dito

We have talked about this and it's interesting when you add up everything...hotels, dinners, Hedo Trip, sexy clothes that will probably only be worn in a swing scene...

fuel in the car= $10
dinner= $60
1/2 of a hotel room= $75
spinning, pulsating, waterproof "toy"= $120
industrial sized container of lube= $20
sex with new found friends= PRICELESS!!!
(surprised nobody beet me to that)

[fun4Ds]

for us we have some close friends to play with ,dinner at their house and vice versa so thats cost effecient and fun. if we go out we dont figure on the date being expencive because we would have spent the dough any how, if they dont show or play its still an evening of fun, usally $100. bucks in gas ,drinks or clubs/. now what we have found is our favorite of all times group/club. its byb.50.00 for cabawabo or rum. 20 to get in and 10.00 for a very nice room with a private whirlpool/ bath. usally 15 couples and one hell of a nice place.just havent been fortunate to meet dynamar yet.

oops forgot to add in new shoes mrs.fun always needs new shoes

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

How much will you pay for sex?

My questions: Do you take the cost of swinging into consideration when choosing playmates? How much influence does cost have? Do/Would the costs of swinging keep you from participating in the lifestyle?
LM

LM, I'm sorry to say we don't have the same dilemma as you but we have considered the cost of swinging as it applies to our situations.

We belong to a local club (2 now ) which depending on the cost of the annual membership and weekend fees to get in can get a little pricey by themselves. The one we recently joined was twice the cost of our regular one which is why it has take a year to check it out.

At the club we have played on the first night of meeting someone if the chemistry is there. It's a little different because there isn't the pressure of hotels and hours of driving to meet a second time. So if we play it's just because everyone wants too.

We don't have people to our house until we have met them at least once (on line - then dinner or drinks) or met and/or played at the club. Ideally we are looking to have local friends that we can do things with and have the benefit of playing occasionally, that way we wouldn't even need to do the club we could just get together at each others houses.

In final answer to your question the money is a big consideration for us. As I indicated with the club fees plus we take our own alcohol. This is probably the cheapest route for us but add the extras in like meeting people off SLS for dinner and or drinks etc. and over a years time it can all really add up. I don't think it would keep us from participating in the lifestyle (unless we just really fell on hard times or something ) but it does make us think very carefully about how may times we go to the club and where we want to meet someone for dinner (taco bell anyone? )

Mrs Spoomonkey

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by Mrs Spoomonkey

taco bell anyone?

Ummmmm...I have several bags of Doritos (Nacho, spicy nacho, and cool ranch) and a variety of diet/regular caf/decaf soft drinks in a cooler...and I'll cover the gas money...

That would be in ADDITION to Taco Bell...

Yeah, I know, I'm the high roller and I'm en fuego!

Ouchie.

Thrax

[WildMiCouple]

For us, the money doesn't really play into the decision for us. We feel pretty fortunate in that respect. It's more about spending an evening/night together away from home.

Visiting the dances about once a month costs around $150 for room and drinks as we usually eat something lite at home before we leave. Seems we choose to play about half the time with others. So like you, LM, it costs us about the $300 for sex with others . Jeez......thanks for making me think about the sex for money....kinda cheapens it errrr you know what I mean

But I prefer to look at it as I'm going to enjoy some great everytime. Tammy and I always fuck that night after the dance and the morning before we leave the hotel. And about half the time there is another hottie or two thrown in. That's not always the case with two teenage girls at home.

Brett

[curious24]

I'll admit I didn't take the time to read all the replies but I did want to say that $300 is a bit much. Maybe it will work better if you talk to the couple you are going to meet about this before you meet? Maybe they have the same concerns as you do about cost?

Also, maybe you could look at it from a different point of view and say that you are having a weekend away to do other things. I know there has to be things to do other than to meet up for sex. Like shop, sight see, and other things to do where ever you might go to meet people. This way even if you don't play on the first meeting at let you had a nice weekend away and I'm sure you and your partner will have some fun. So in the end not all is lost.

Just my .02