"Caste System" in the Lifestyle Based on Age/Beauty?

[sexyshelby]

Great advice, JnCC. Thanks for the post.

~SS

[curiousagain]

All sound wisdom JNCC. One never knows what will attract the other to you or vice versa.

[LICouple4u]

"We are constantly amazed when someone contacts us and we thought we would never be their type."

Ooops, not sure how to quote yet, sorry...

This really struck us. We recently had a couple contact us wanting to get to know us better and meet up. We looked at their profile and just said to each other 'huh? did they mail the right couple??' We thought they would have been out of our league.

We're somewhat young - I'm 30, he's 34. We enjoy and almost prefer older couples since we tend to have more in common with them (we're married 11 years, have kids, etc). We tend not to have much in common with most 20-something couples.

I also find personality to be a HUGE turn on. Physically I don't mind a woman with curves. Hubby is a husky guy. We prefer a real couple, one that can enjoy themselves in bed without worrying about their hair

I think in our profiles we say something about not being Ken & Barbie and that we prefer not to play with Ken & Barbie as sex with plastic is not our thing lol.

[2jersey]

Originally Posted by TLO7777

In the Top 100 thread on certifications someone posted the following comment:



How many others feel the same way about this?

Obviously most will not get in touch with a couple that doesn't seem attractive to them, but are there many of you that are reluctant to approach a couple because you think they are "out of your league"?

My wife and I are a bit younger than most and many find us quite attractive. While we do want to find our potential playmates attractive... this is of course a subjective thing, and for us, physical beauty is a plus but not even close to our top priority.

We're actually quite open to playing with partners that are 10-15 years older and not of the same physical body type as us. For example we both find women on the curvy side far more appealing than gym rats. Being fit is fine, but too thin is actually a turn off.

I'd hate for a couple to pass us over because they thought we were in a different "caste" than they are.

What's your experience? Do you regularly contact couples that are outside of your own age/shape/looks bracket?

Dante
--
YoungMauiCouple at SLS

It is hard to know when a couple is "out of our league" given that we don't actually know what 'league' we are in - at least as it pertains to 'beauty'. It is hard for us to judge our own physical appearance in an objective manner - and a spouses opinion is not likely to be objective either.

And who actually knows the reasons why other couples choose not to contact them (or why they get dinged when they contact others)? We would like to think that all of the people who have ignored our profile think that we are too 'beautiful' for them - but the 'truth' may be exactly the opposite - and the outcome is exactly the same either way.

[DGrey]

We feel that there is a caste system based on looks and age. It's especially hard for us since my husband is such a handsome man and while I feel beautiful, I know that my body type is not appreciated by everyone.

Given that is the situation we're in, we look for the beauty in all people. Granted, there has to be an initial spark and connection between people, the outer book cover isn't what we go by.

E&D

[LICouple4u]

Oh Grey - I just checked out your SLS profile, then I wiped off the drool from my keyboard. Since I'm on a laptop, I really should get a condom for this thing to protect it

You are simply a beautiful woman.. And we're only 44 miles away Gotta show hubby your profile

I've discovered in this lifestyle that people are into what they are into... In my case - if someone in into big breasts, keep going because it's not something I have or ever will have.

[DGrey]

Originally Posted by LICouple4u

Oh Grey - I just checked out your SLS profile, then I wiped off the drool from my keyboard. Since I'm on a laptop, I really should get a condom for this thing to protect it

You are simply a beautiful woman.. And we're only 44 miles away Gotta show hubby your profile

You just made my night after a very long and exhausting, demanding week at school.

E

[AlaskanGrown]

Originally Posted by TLO7777

Obviously most will not get in touch with a couple that doesn't seem attractive to them, but are there many of you that are reluctant to approach a couple because you think they are "out of your league"?

We have felt that way about some couples since we're in the process of getting back in shape, but if they have a stable relationship and great personalities it seems to pan out pretty well thus far.

Intimidating? You bet. Worth it? It has been thus far.

Personally though, the type of personalities that strive to have bodies that are plastered over the covers of Cosmo and whatnot tend to bore us. We like seeing real people be real people. It's a broad generalization to be sure, but I personally stand by it in most instances. It's great to be in shape if you genuninely are aiming for that, but once you become plastic in the mind it's a huge turn-off.

[MontrealParty]

Interesting thread.

I wonder if we are considered A- or B+ types... That's a cool question, reserved for a different thread. I know Ms. is an A+. (I do have a nice sports car... I know for vanillas that would increase my rating... but I don't think it works in the Lifestyle!!)

In terms of limiting ourselves to people that share our looks and class, well I know that I (Mr.) have three very demanding criteria that must be met before I would play with a woman, as follows.

1 - In terms of age, she must be between 18 and 65.
2 - In terms of weight, between 90 lbs and 250 lbs or so.
3 - In terms of education, she must have some highschool, up to PhD/MD/JD.

If any those criteria are met, I'll play!

Exceptions will be made on a case-by-case basis.

Have a nice day!

[HappyPeople]

From what I've seen, most folks don't discriminate that much. For me, it's more about what thier face looks like than what thier age or body type is. If I find that someone has an unattractive face, I am less attracted to them. I can't say what it is about a face that make it attractive or not since I am attracted to a wide variety of faces. It's just one of those things I guess. It's definately not a caste thing... It's more a personal taste thing.

[ShellyM]

I can agree that people are intimidated, but I think it goes both ways. I think that people who are not what society calls physically "perfect" ie., maybe they are overweight, or whatever, are quite intimidated. Thats why it is so important to not be shy, but to be open and friendly. If a couple is sitting at a table go ahead and ask to sit next to them!!

[HappyPeople]

Am I alone in thinking that massive insecurities are a huge problem in the swing scene?

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by HappyPeople

Am I alone in thinking that massive insecurities are a huge problem in the swing scene?

It certainly seems that way, at least for some people.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by HappyPeople

From what I've seen, most folks don't discriminate that much. For me, it's more about what thier face looks like than what thier age or body type is. If I find that someone has an unattractive face, I am less attracted to them. I can't say what it is about a face that make it attractive or not since I am attracted to a wide variety of faces. It's just one of those things I guess. It's definately not a caste thing... It's more a personal taste thing.

While to me the face is the most important feature as well the caste system I see is this.

Very attractive people tend to not want to play with less attractive people.
Less attractive people tend to want to play with very attractive people.

The less attractive people tend to not want to play with the much less attractive people.
The much less attractive people tend to want to play with the less and very attractive people.

And the caste system appears. I tend to only see it at big events, but its pretty clear who is in and who isn't, in very highschool like fashion.

[EvilMJ]

Originally Posted by Chicup

While to me the face is the most important feature as well the caste system I see is this.

Very attractive people tend to not want to play with less attractive people.
Less attractive people tend to want to play with very attractive people.

The less attractive people tend to not want to play with the much less attractive people.
The much less attractive people tend to want to play with the less and very attractive people.

And the caste system appears. I tend to only see it at big events, but its pretty clear who is in and who isn't, in very highschool like fashion.

You know I think there is a difference between on line and clubbing. At the club I go to I see every group of people intermingling. I don't consider myself 'barbie' but I get the Ken and Barbie types making offers just as much as those who aren't Ken and Barbie.

I also find that those we consider the most physically attractive can be just as insecure in a club setting. I think the face to face approach tends to change the dynamics.