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  1. #1
    mildly abnormal Miss_Piggy's Avatar
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    Default Etiquette on seeing a acquaintance's profile

    So this is the first time this has happened to me. I stumbled across a acquaintance's profile. I know this person through a community group. We get along well enough but we're not exactly friends. I do see him once a week or so at this meeting we both go to. I'm not at all "out" to him. I've got no interest in him sexually.

    I just wonder what the etiquette is here. Should I say hello and acknowledge that I've seen his profile? Or forget about it and pretend I never saw it?

    I wonder if he's seen my profile already and is wondering the same thing...
    I feel that a woman doesn't have to be called 'Ms.' in order to be a woman of her own making. I believe 'Miss' allows moi to be a woman, and my karate can get me anything else

  2. #2
    Oh Oui! J'aime ça! StewartP's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette on seeing a acquaintance's profile

    You could mail him through the site, saying you were previously unaware of his participation in the lifestyle, that you admire his discretion.

    You can also say that it seems your criteria for partners doesn't correspond with his and you feel in any case it's always too risky to play close to "home".

    You add that you can count on your mutual discretion.

    Take control of the situation first.

  3. #3
    Swingers Board Addict DigginIt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette on seeing a acquaintance's profile

    Unless I considered the person a friend I would most likely just let it go. Guys may sometimes think that any interest is interest

    Unless you run into him at a party or event then I would just let it slide.

  4. #4
    Swingers Board Addict km34's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette on seeing a acquaintance's profile

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_Piggy View Post
    So this is the first time this has happened to me.
    Be glad about that! So far, we've only come across 2 people we know, BUT one of them is my sister! For her, we sent this overly enthusiastic welcome to the site message just to get it out of the way. I'm actually glad it happened, too, because I didn't have to lie about how we met when I introduced her and her husband to our friends/playmates at a Super Bowl party this year.

    The other couple we knew was interested in getting into the lifestyle, so we also sent them a message saying welcome to the site and telling them to let us know if they had any questions.

    In your situation, I think you could go either way. Since it is a single man that you aren't interested in, you would have to be careful about your wording so that he doesn't think you want to play. I would personally be worrying about the two of you feeling awkward when you're around each other (kind of the 'elephant in the room' situation) if you don't address it, but if you wouldn't feel that way then more power to you!

  5. #5
    Here to Stay
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    Default Re: Etiquette on seeing a acquaintance's profile

    [QUOTE=StewartP;451958]You could mail him through the site, saying you were previously unaware of his participation in the lifestyle, that you admire his discretion.QUOTE]



    A+

  6. #6
    Better than Ice Cream two4youinswva's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette on seeing a acquaintance's profile

    Quote Originally Posted by DigginIt View Post
    Unless I considered the person a friend I would most likely just let it go. Guys may sometimes think that any interest is interest

    Unless you run into him at a party or event then I would just let it slide.
    I'm going to agree with this, based on the scenario that has been set forth.
    Only an acquaintance, no sexual interest, equals no initiated contact.
    You can tell how much a woman likes you by her feet. If they're behind her ears, she REALLY likes you.

  7. #7
    Here to Stay Stevef8's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette on seeing a acquaintance's profile

    Quote Originally Posted by DigginIt View Post
    Unless I considered the person a friend I would most likely just let it go. Guys may sometimes think that any interest is interest
    What??? You mean that if you look in my direction across a crowded room that doesn't mean you are extremely hot for me and want to run off immediately to a hotel and have wild passionate sex nonstop for 3 days?

  8. #8
    Swingers Board Addict
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    Default Re: Etiquette on seeing a acquaintance's profile

    Quote Originally Posted by two4youinswva View Post
    Only an acquaintance, no sexual interest, equals no initiated contact.
    Simple as that IMO.
    I know I was born. I know that I'll die. The in between is mine. (PJ)

  9. #9
    Here to Stay
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    Default Re: Etiquette on seeing a acquaintance's profile

    this just happened to us too, well actually to my husband. A woman he knows is on SLS. He sent her a message on facebook, they are friends on there. Just telling her he saw her profile, but we wouldn't say anything and to share any tips she might have LOL

  10. #10
    Swingers Board Addict PB&J's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette on seeing a acquaintance's profile

    Do you think that he will recognize you from your profile?
    Who doesn't like a PB&J sandwich?

  11. #11
    Swap Meet Enthusiast Dont.Stop's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette on seeing a acquaintance's profile

    One of my clients surprised me by sending me a message on Swing Lifestyle months ago. We have no interest in them, and it seems they have none in us. I was initially worried that they would make a move.

    Twice since then they've called on me in my professional capacity and that was it.

    Having said that, had I found their profile before they contacted me I wouldn't have said anything. We're not close to them, though we've known them for a few years. If we were interested in them, or perhaps closer to them as friends, then I'd have given it a go.

    We've had other friends contact us. In one case it was smoking hot chemistry for a couple months, lots of fun until it fizzled out and we remain friends. With another couple there was no initial interest, but as time goes things may be changing.
    Last edited by Dont.Stop; 12-14-2011 at 11:04 PM.
    You say "oral fixation" like it's a bad thing!

  12. #12
    Founder JustAskJulie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette on seeing a acquaintance's profile

    In this case, I'd ignore it and go on like you never saw it. I thin the etiquette really depends on the situation. Since he's just an acquaintance it's no likely to be a big deal even if you ran into each at a lifestyle event. You can just say hello and go on. If it was someone you were closer to, then I'd say contact them and give them a heads up.
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  13. #13
    mildly abnormal Miss_Piggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette on seeing a acquaintance's profile

    Quote Originally Posted by PB&J View Post
    Do you think that he will recognize you from your profile?
    Probably not. We don't have our faces visible.

    ...

    I'm inclined to agree with many of the posters here on keeping silent about it - especially since he's just an acquaintance.
    I feel that a woman doesn't have to be called 'Ms.' in order to be a woman of her own making. I believe 'Miss' allows moi to be a woman, and my karate can get me anything else

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