Annoying emails on Swing Lifestyle.

[ClosetSwinger]

This has happened to me more then once and I wondered if anyone else gets this and if it annoys you too.

Our profile very plainly states WE DO NOT PLAY ALONE.

I occasionally get emails from couples that want to chat. When I read their profile they are ONLY looking for females OR couples that ONLY the wife plays with BOTH of them BUT YET the other male is supposed to either A. just watch or B. not be involved at all. One of them did say "I will give your hubby a BJ so he won't be left in the cold but don't expect me to f*ck him".

I realize the quest for unicorns and single women, I know this. I think it irritates me though because MY PROFILE SAYS I DON'T PLAY ALONE but yet people continue to send me messages asking me to play alone.

I also sort of think it's mean. I can't imagine playing with a female my hubby getting all the benefits of that and seeing her poor husband sitting the sidelines with a hard on just watching. I'd feel bad for him!

[ClosetSwinger]

Also btw my hubby is not a troll....thought it was important to mention that. I don't even have pics of him on my profile except in our private album (i know i need to add those). The only pics I have of him though all include his face and so I keep them private. I have plenty of pics of just my boobies or butt so those are public. ha ha i said boobies. lol Anyway I just reminded myself I need to take headless pics of hubby for public profile. Do you think my not having pics of him in the public album is one of the reasons I am getting these msgs. If ppl ask for private access and we are interested I usually will give access and then they can see both of our faces.

[bi4me2]

Oddly enough we have never received any emails like that and we do clearly state the fact we do not play alone in our ad. Maybe it's the way you are wording it in your ad?

[Coupleerotic22]

Some people are just flat out F'ing rude. Others don't bother to read your profile Which to me is a sign they really don't care what you want, they just care about what they want.

I try to hit delete as fast as I can on those post, because if I let them sit there I am too tempted to respond and say something I shouldn't. I could give a number of examples of how I would respond, but they would all be drippin' with sarcasm. Best to just ignore them and move on.

I really feel compelled to try and respond to all emails, I just feel bad if we don't. BUT, if someone is rude or clearly has not read our profile, it does not bother me at all to just delete the email.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by ClosetSwinger

Also btw my hubby is not a troll....thought it was important to mention that. I don't even have pics of him on my profile except in our private album (i know i need to add those). The only pics I have of him though all include his face and so I keep them private. I have plenty of pics of just my boobies or butt so those are public. ha ha i said boobies. lol Anyway I just reminded myself I need to take headless pics of hubby for public profile. Do you think my not having pics of him in the public album is one of the reasons I am getting these msgs. If ppl ask for private access and we are interested I usually will give access and then they can see both of our faces.

If you don't have public pictures of your husband, people are likely to wonder if he's really interested in playing. And even though you say "we do not play alone" people may interpret that as he will be present with you, but only as a voyeur.

If you're showing yourself off, alone, in your public profile pics, you are going to continue to get requests to play alone.

Who knows, some people may think you are a single woman, or cheating wife, posing as a couple. And people approach you, in the way they have, hoping you are a lone female.

LM

[ALilOEverything]

I have never once had a message from a couple asking if only one of us would play alone. At least half of our pictures are of the both of us together. Pictures could send a really strong message, I never really thought about it until now but it makes sense. Every single sentence in our profile that addresses us says "we" or "us" except one reference to my not requiring Bi play. We don't decribe ourselves individually (never thought to) as we have plenty of photos and I don't think the specifics really matter. I never wrote our profile to address us never playing alone, but it does seem to have that effect. In fact, I just reread it and no where in there do I even state we never play seperately.

[ClosetSwinger]

We are swingset on Swing Lifestyle. you can look and tell me if there is something on there that is sending a mixed message. I definitely need to remedy the PICTURE issue. I'm thinking that may be the cause. I believe my profile is pretty clear we are a couple and I don't think the wording is causing it but I could be overlooking something. HELP!

[BiloxiCouple]

Good profile.

Remember men don't read instruction well or if at all. Move the "do not play alone" further up in the read. I figure men do most of the browsing?

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by ClosetSwinger

This has happened to me more then once and I wondered if anyone else gets this and if it annoys you too.

Was an irritation at first but no longer as we have come to simply expect it from time to time. Usually happens as a kind of bait-n-switch. A few e-mail messages are exchanged. An agreement is made to meet. Then the news comes, "she's not into you guys but I'm still interested in meeting you." Another happened just last week. Don't let it get you down. You'll learn to ignore it too, I expect.

~Michael

[Stevef8]

Originally Posted by ClosetSwinger

This has happened to me more then once and I wondered if anyone else gets this and if it annoys you too.

Our profile very plainly states WE DO NOT PLAY ALONE.

I occasionally get emails from couples that want to chat. When I read their profile they are ONLY looking for females OR couples that ONLY the wife plays with BOTH of them BUT YET the other male is supposed to either A. just watch or B. not be involved at all. One of them did say "I will give your hubby a BJ so he won't be left in the cold but don't expect me to f*ck him".

I realize the quest for unicorns and single women, I know this. I think it irritates me though because MY PROFILE SAYS I DON'T PLAY ALONE but yet people continue to send me messages asking me to play alone.

I also sort of think it's mean. I can't imagine playing with a female my hubby getting all the benefits of that and seeing her poor husband sitting the sidelines with a hard on just watching. I'd feel bad for him!

A lot of people on there don't bother reading everything or hope you will find them "special" and break the rules. Guys, generally, are good at ignoring things they don't want to see.


By the way, do you play alone? Just kidding...but couldn't resist...

[Coupleerotic22]

Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple

Usually happens as a kind of bait-n-switch.

And there are so many variations of it. You would figure they would give up, but I guess it is like SPAM, enough people bite to make it worth while for them.

A recent one, a GF/BF living in different cities, both are very attractive. We had made it clear we play together and are looking for couples. We kept hearing from him (never her) how much she was interested. But he kept trying to hook up with us sans GF since she was so far away. Recently my wife asked about her. He said it looked like she wouldn't be coming this way anytime soon. She said we could meet in her city. He ran with that a while, still hinting at 3some, until my wife asked again. He told my wife her schedule was too busy to play anytime soon. She told him we looked forward to her schedule being open, let us know when it is. We have not heard back from him in a while.

[LikeMinds321]

Thank you for providing your Swing Lifestyle username. After taking a look, I think your profile is very well-balanced; your husband and you are equally represented. Your profile gives no greater weight to you, or even hints at your husband being on the sidelines.

The pictures may be speaking louder than the profile, as BiloxiCouple said. Add some public pictures of your husband, and you together, along with moving that statement up top and see if it makes a difference.

Good luck!

LM

[Coupleerotic22]

I am with LM, move "We don't Play Alone" to the top.

You intermix the descriptions of each other throughout, so it is not like anyone could miss that you are a couple.

The certs are very nice and refer to you as a couple, one even mentions how cute your husband is.

I do not assume that because there are no pic's of the male that it means anything more than you don't have them. But some people do, so it would be good to add them. I take most of the photos in our family, so there are not many of me to begin with. (and for some reason my wife likes taking pics of me while I am asleep, so they are not flattering, lol)

One thing I see, is that you don't list your weight. It is a touchy subject and people have very different opinions. But I have met people that see that as hiding something, particularly if there are no pics of one of you. Your pics are lovely and you are clearly a sexy and attractive woman, but some may think because there is no weight, the pics are old. And since there is no weight or pics for your husband, they may think the worst.

I do not put to much stock in any one thing on a profile, I prefer to look at it as a whole. But there are people that see one thing that seems amiss to them and they think red flags and move one. Plus, I can see someone thinking "she is hot, but no pics of hubby, no weight, he must be fat and she gets no offers because of that. So let’s see if she wants to play solo". Frankly, that is a pretty stupid thought process, but I have seen worse. IMO they are just trying to get what they want no matter what your profile says.

Based on what I saw in your profile, I imagine that you get a lot of interest from couples that match up with you, and hopefully, those that the OP are about are in the minority.

[ClosetSwinger]

Nope I don't list my weight and never have. (*don't throw knives*). I'm NOT huge by any stretch of the imagination but I do have issues about my weight and so that is why I don't list it, I DO however HAVE totally nude pics of myself on my profile in the private section that are always less then 3 months old (it also says I AM CURVY in my profile). If people are interested they get access and then we can go from there. I will add hubby's weight though beause he could care less whether it's listed or not.

[Coupleerotic22]

Originally Posted by ClosetSwinger

Nope I don't list my weight and never have. (*don't throw knives*). I'm NOT huge by any stretch of the imagination but I do have issues about my weight and so that is why I don't list it, I DO however HAVE totally nude pics of myself on my profile in the private section that are always less then 3 months old (it also says I AM CURVY in my profile). If people are interested they get access and then we can go from there. I will add hubby's weight though beause he could care less whether it's listed or not.

NO knives. or negatives, meant, just a suggestion. I know some people have an issue with their weight, even when others would think it just fine. That is your prerogative. Not listing you weight shouldn't be an issue for most since you have photos up and it is clear you are not hiding anything.