First Contact - Online Sex?

[Yejsusen]

We are newbies (newbies like have never done anything before), but are willing to go full swap with someone (couple or guy/s) we find compatible. When you are chatting or emailing a possible match, should you let the conversation go sexual the first time? What if they want to masturbate? What do you think of internet sex? Would that be like playing out the real situation before it actually happens? My husband travels a lot, so we've done "internet sex" a few times (nobody is having fun with anybody else without the other present)... Is it against the general rule or etiquette if you do it (and all parties are aware) with a possible friend? Is cybersex not with the SO considered cheating?

[Coupleerotic22]

My general thought is, if both parties know and agree, then it is good.

There really is not a right or wrong way to swing other than that. It is whatever turns you on.

As for online sex, it is not my bag, so I can't say if there are any issues to be concerned with. Just as in any case, be safe. Probably not a good idea to give out too much personal info.

[Pleasure King]

I'm of the opinion that meeting someone first online is definitely the way to go for some, myself included. Whether the first conversation takes a sexual turn or not depends on the feeling of the moment. I'd compare it to a club or a party in that respect. You meet someone, things feel right and it leads to finding a place where you can be alone together.

As long as your husband is aware of you having cybersex with someone I wouldn't consider it cheating. Cheating to me are things done behind the other's back, without their knowledge or consent. Having said that you still need to have boundaries to ensure your private conversations don't turn into clandestine meetings. Just because you're not in physical contact with someone doesn't make the spoken or written word any less powerful. Bonds can still be formed over Yahoo IM or the phone.

[realcplub2]

I would echo Coupleerotic22

Some people get into the whole cyber sex thing, others like us, find it a distraction from the pursuit of information..

What do I mean by that.. Well, as with many of the initial conversations the key questions get asked about what they are into, what we are into and the physical questions..

Problem being.. yes its erotic, and yes, the info is important, but when it de evolves into cyber.. it tends to be the end of the info process for the pursuit to "rub one out"

Back when we got started the telephone conversations with singles were much the same, once the intial process was over, they were after phone sex with her.. Rather than make arraingements to actually meet, once they got off, they were off the phone..

As far as the cheating aspect, cyber or phone, again thats a user defined application.. there are some within our extended family that claim, if you have a lustful thought after observing another person, you have already cheated..

By OUR textbook though, if its done (the IT being anything in a sexual manner) with the knowledge and consent of the Significant Other, its not..

or as defined by the Modern Hero of our time, Uncle Bill, Unless the Penis sinks slowly and smoothly into the Womans Neither region... its not sex at all..

One thing to point out, I tend to think you find that while cyber may be fun at first, the one handed typing on both ends of the screen, gets a bit old fast..

[Yejsusen]

Thank you soooooooooooooo much!!!!

You are right. We are not into online sex, we want to meet, but I was wondering if it was rude or "unaccepted". Our first chats have gone that way, I'm pretty sure not because of what we've said, and we don't mind....but you're right, we after the information...the rest we can do together later!!!!!