Married but not to each other?

[Coupleerotic22]

In the last 2-3 weeks we have been contacted by 5 "couples" that are married but not to each other and another 2 couples that play together but live some distance apart (in one case both applied).

We always ask if the spouses that do not play know about it. In all but one case the answer was no. So we politely decline, because of the cheating issues. The one yes made sense, but I am not sure I believed them.

My question, is this something new? Or is this just an up cycle of something that is common. We have been swinging less than a year and this is the first time we have really seen this, but since we are new we did not know if this happens often.

As for cheating, that is easy, we decline. But for those couples that live far apart, so far anyway, it seems like it is just another way for a single guy to contact us. What is your experience on these topic?

[exploringRM]

We've met a few couples (via meet & greets) that were married but not to each other. Probably about every 2-3 months I see a new profile on Swing Lifestyle where that fact is expressed in the profile. We stay away from any of that..too much drama potential as well as a risk in getting involved in a domestic violence situation.

[divenaked]

When we first got together, we lived 125 miles apart. OK...background....we were singles in the lifestyle who met on a group trip to New Orleans (long interesting story for another post). We were "coupled" for outings at lifestyle clubs. Worked well for me, couples run $40-$50, single males-$100. She was a great fuck-buddy too! Dayummm, we fell in love. Whood a thunk it? Been together 6 years now...........Fast forward to the present. We used to say in our profiles that we lived apart. Did we get fewer responses? Maybe. Did people think I was really a single guy? Maybe. Did I notice, or care? No. If we read someone's profile and feel they are sincere, we act that way. If they don't seem sincere, we don't deal with them. You learn how to weed out the posers and fakes over time. The people that did contact us felt comfortable that we were real, and not some scum-of-the-earth bullshit artist. We don't knowing deal with cheating people, singles or 'couples'. Too much opportunity for DRAMA.

[Coupleerotic22]

I think that is our issue. WE are so new to this that we are figuring out how to weed out the ones that are not truthful. As always I look to others experience as guidance. We not do everything as someone else would. But why not learn from them and have more info to make decisions.

[Newpants]

Originally Posted by Coupleerotic22

But for those couples that live far apart, so far anyway, it seems like it is just another way for a single guy to contact us. What is your experience on these topic?

One of the hottest and nicest couples we have met were a real couple but lived separately several hours away from each other..and us

They were an honest and legitimate couple and there was no signs of him just trying to scam anything out of the arraingement. There are no doubts a lot of scammers and scheemers out there but as with everything, there are good ones and bad ones.

If there was anything negative about this arraingement it is that it was extremely hard to schedule anything with them do to the distance and complexity of their relationship. We eventually just felt like pests when we would try and schedule something with them and they just kind of faded away. They are no longer on any of the sites they were on and the last we heard they were planning the wedding so who knows if they will ever turn back up or not.

While some of these couples can be legitimate, I would look at it with a good degree of skepticism and if you are the kind of folks that likes to have regular or at least repeat encounters, these couples may not be able to accomplish that just do to the logistical issues on their end.

[JustAskJulie]

At least they are being honest about it. I'd rather them be honest and give us the chance to respond honestly then have them not tell us. I think the only thing new is the honesty, not sure why that may be increasing - unless they've started reading the advice around here more.