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Finding People Online dealing with personal ads, profiles, email and chat in your effort to find others to swing with.

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Old 06-03-2010, 08:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

This is something I've seen before, but I seem to be encountering more and more these days. Profiles labeled with the wrong gender. Or, more specifically couples posing as single females. When we open your "single female" profile and the first line is "my husband/boyfriend/male acquaintance will be involved," it comes off as awfully deceptive and really doesn't make us want to contact you. On CL I let a lot of things slide, but it's a free resource. I'm starting to see a lot of paid "singles" profiles on Swing Lifestyle that aren't.

We've been contacted a few times by people with these profiles, and it always reads like a single male writing the profile/email with a girl who doesn't exist and/or will conveniently not show up come play time. Do I report those to the admins as being the wrong gender? Just ignore them and hope everyone else does too?
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Old 06-03-2010, 09:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SexyRedmondCpl View Post
Do I report those to the admins as being the wrong gender? Just ignore them and hope everyone else does too?
We report the ones we see on Swing Lifestyle. We see them misrepresented in all types of combos; couples as singles, singles as couples, males as females, blah blah blah.

Seems to be effective at least some of the time, as occasionally you'll see corrected profiles after reporting them.
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Old 06-03-2010, 09:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

We tended to see a lot of single males posing as a couple, but those are painfully obvious. Now occasionally you get a non-obvious one which is why you have this 'my wife will call your wife' verification. We just blocked them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by two4youinswva View Post
We report the ones we see on Swing Lifestyle. We see them misrepresented in all types of combos; couples as singles, singles as couples, males as females, blah blah blah.

Seems to be effective at least some of the time, as occasionally you'll see corrected profiles after reporting them.
Lies lies. You have never seen a single female posing as a single male
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Old 06-03-2010, 09:39 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

0'0", 0lb. female, a liberal use of the personal pronoun "I" or, even worse, a complete lack of person pronouns i.e. "Am very eager. Would like to meet bi females." All too obvious. But I report every one I see to the Webmaster. Just makes me feel empowered.
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Old 06-03-2010, 09:41 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

I forgot to add.

Sometimes I would report, sometimes I just blocked. Most were free members and the ones who's wives couldn't get to the phone couldn't be easily proved.
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Old 06-03-2010, 09:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

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Lies lies. You have never seen a single female posing as a single male
Right after I hit "Submit Reply", I thought about that, and just knew someone would call me on it.
If I had continued the thought, I would have bet money you would be the one to call me on it.
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Old 06-03-2010, 10:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

I see profiles where a single male or single female is being shown, but is also connected to a couples profile; i.e. they can play alone. I don't see any problems with that. Anyone else?
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Old 06-03-2010, 10:54 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

I must confess. We were one of those, but not for deceitful purposes.

We have been online for years, lol, we even both had 5+2 number compuserve email addresses. Anyway, we have always have separate online accounts for everything. It was not until we started swinging that we ever uses a join account for anything other than banking or ISP.

When we started on Swing Lifestyle we each had our own accounts. We clearly hadn't thought it through. After a while we realized that was not a good idea and decided to use one account. We had to change everything on the profile to plural gender and request by email to have the status changed. Apparently, you used to be able to do this yourself, but it was abused, so they stopped allowing it. It took about 2 weeks and we were paying for our account at that point.

Why does this matter, I have run in to 2 other couples that did the same thing, one of the was a free account and it took much longer. That said, the vast majority we have run into, including a few that gave told us they had started like us, are just plain fakes.

There are a few people out there that made honest mistakes, but most are not real.
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Old 06-04-2010, 12:59 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bbarnsworth View Post
I see profiles where a single male or single female is being shown, but is also connected to a couples profile; i.e. they can play alone. I don't see any problems with that. Anyone else?
We are one of those. We started in swing as singles. Therefore separate profiles. We are a committed couple now. But have left our site names as is. We do refer to each others profile name in both sites to help ease the confusion.

We have left things the way they are because (1) We each have friends and previous playmates that know us by our individual profile names (2) We each have the option of playing alone if the circumstances support it. On his site, which we designate as our couple site, and Swing Lifestyle has approved, his face is foremost. Therefore it can appear as a single site. As may mine with my picture foremost. My face is blocked on both sites for all the same reasons I did not show my face in my single site before becoming his other half. We have individual G rated pics of both of us, as well as a couple shot, both with my face blocked and without blocked, on each site. It is our hope that couples who do find us will realize we are a couple and not trying to pull a fast one.

And yes, while we have met others who have done the same for various well thought justified reasons, we have encountered those that are playing games or trying to sneak something in.
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Old 06-04-2010, 10:25 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

Hey all. Some great responses here. Thank you. Good to know we aren't alone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by femnewb4u2 View Post
(1) We each have friends and previous playmates that know us by our individual profile names (2) We each have the option of playing alone if the circumstances support it.
See, this doesn't bother me. I've definitely seen singles profiles for each half of couples who play alone, and they typically refer to their "couples handle" in the profile as well. I don't think there's anything wrong with that since, technically, you do play as singles. It'd probably be a bit much for me to manage more than one profile, but if you can handle it then more power to ya.

I guess I'm just seeing a lot of brand new (within a few days) profiles that are pulling the old bait-and-switch. I think I will be reporting them from now on.
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Old 06-11-2010, 04:35 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

I would definitely report them.
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Old 06-11-2010, 04:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

I've often wondered.... surely, somewhere out there in the swinging universe, sometime, a single guy has masqueraded as a couple and made a date with another couple, planning the old bait and switch, only to turn up for the date to find... another guy with exactly the same plan. If it has happened, how perfect! And if it hasn't- well, it should!
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Old 06-11-2010, 07:06 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

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. . . only to turn up for the date to find... another guy with exactly the same plan. If it has happened, how perfect! And if it hasn't- well, it should!
I probably has. But if so, it's a story that both will carry to their graves. Neither would pause, in any case, to stop here at The Swingersboard to document the story.
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Old 07-07-2010, 07:22 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple View Post
I probably has. But if so, it's a story that both will carry to their graves. Neither would pause, in any case, to stop here at The Swingersboard to document the story.
It would make a great movie plot though don't you think......I'm thinking maybe Will Ferrel and Steve Carrell....in "My wife couldn't make it..."
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Old 11-02-2010, 11:40 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Excuse me, but you're the wrong gender.

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Originally Posted by PB&J View Post
I've often wondered.... surely, somewhere out there in the swinging universe, sometime, a single guy has masqueraded as a couple and made a date with another couple, planning the old bait and switch, only to turn up for the date to find... another guy with exactly the same plan. If it has happened, how perfect! And if it hasn't- well, it should!
Oh that would be classic. Even better if someone else happened to know it beforehand and had video rolling the whole time when the 2 lame guys first met up and realized that they both were scammers. Just imagine the funny looks on their faces when they confirm that they are meeting this other single guy and that neither actually has wives.


We just dealt with our first scammer last week. It was either a cheater or a single guy posing as a couple, and in typical fashion he had female pics up on the site, plus a combo pic. Got onto yahoo, chatted with him a few times over the next several days, discussed plans for our first meeting over drinks, what we all wanted and were comfortable with, and shared a few more pics. The pics he put up were of him and a gal (after the fact now I dont know if that was his wife, his ex or ..).
Later on that day I was looking again at their pic, and in the coding of it I noticed it was over a year old (he didnt change the details on the file). Thought that was kinda odd since he didnt mention it was old, and since he claims they have no kids and are DINKS, why wouldnt they have current pics up the wazoo.
So then we chat again, this time right after the hello I ask if his wife is around so mine can call her to set up the meeting. He says "sure" , we already had his phone number so my wife called, and there is no answer. He promptly logged off and we never heard from him since.
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