"Relatively new to this" statement

[Willing29]

After reading lots of profiles over the last year or so it amazes us how many couples state in their profile "..we are relatively new to this". Then when you look at the date they joined a site such as Swing Lifestyle it's like 2, 3, 4 or even 7 years ago. Why do couples leave this in their profile since obviously they are not so new to this? Not that it annoys us but either it tells that they don't look at their own profile or are are they trying to lead people on that they are newbies. Of course relative is a matter of opinion.

[two4youinswva]

I guess they are saying they are relatively new to swinging as compared to the number of years they've been signed up, or have been on a site.

There are some folks on SB that have been members for quite a while, but in the end, I'd have to say they are relatively new to swinging, based on their stated lack of experience, if any experience at all.

[SoFlaCp]

I think this is one of those items that is open to interpretation. We've been involved in this for a bit over 2 years based on our first impromptu "swing" event. However, it took almost a year before we had our second, third, etc. and we have been only been active / what we consider "fully involved" in the lifestyle since August.

For us, we think this means we are "relatively new" compared to some of our friends who have been doing this for a number of years and have many many more experience under their belts. We learn something new every time, and when that slows down we'll consider ourselves a bit more experienced.

For others, they might consider themselves experienced after a few months. Take it at face-value / inquire as to what it means when you meet the couple. I bet everyone will be different in how they apply this label.

I also bet that at least 1/3 of the profiles carrying this have simply failed to update their profile. No idea why someone wouldn't maintain a profile, but we find many inconsistencies in profiles because we are members of a few sites. Frequently we find the same couple, but their profile details do not match. For us this is a "stay away" red flag...

[VegasLee]

Originally Posted by Willing29

After reading lots of profiles over the last year or so it amazes us how many couples state in their profile "..we are relatively new to this". Then when you look at the date they joined a site such as Swing Lifestyle it's like 2, 3, 4 or even 7 years ago. Why do couples leave this in their profile since obviously they are not so new to this?

One reason may be as I have seen on sites, including this one, there are many couples that spend YEARS online and never become anymore then online posters in the swinging world.

They are not new to posting but they have never had sex with anyone besides their SO and I am betting never will.

[exploringRM]

I agree with VegasLee and had a recent experience with something similar. A couple on Swing Lifestyle emailed us, said they liked our profile and that they are new to swinging..etc. Their profile had no pictures and they had been members for almost 2 years. Our profile asks that if contact, please have pics available which they can do in the email or open their pics up to us. So I had ignored the email. Received a second one soon after asking to chat. I was a little fiesty that evening and emailed back that we are not interested and that we request in our profile that pictures be available when people contact us. I also mentioned that they mentioned they are new, but have been online for almost 2 years.

I also think that people forget to update their profiles.

[Willing29]

Originally Posted by exploringRM

they mentioned they are new, but have been online for almost 2 years. I also think that people forget to update their profiles.

I can see the posting and not being active, but also think a lot of it is laziness too. I see lots of profiles not being updated for years.

[DigginIt]

We make a change to our profile in some way every couple of months. We even put a note of when the last update was at the start of the profile. Currently it says something like Updated Pictures 1 Jan 2010.

I understand that a couples profile, if it represents them, need not change but tweak the damn thing everyone once in awhile to at least make it look like you care.

[lookinginND]

I understand the other side of this situation, im "new" but have been interested and not till recently have been looking further into the lifestyle.

[DigginIt]

LookinginND - the question is though ... do you or will you update your profile when you decide to make a move into the lifestyle? Most likely, you will.

I think it's great that people are interested and are trying to learn as much as they can and want to see what is out there but people who are actively in the lifestyle that don't update their profiles I think is the real gripe by Willing29.

[Gordo]

Even though we have been members here for a few years it was only a year ago that we finally moved forward.

It took awhile for everything to click.

But I was looking at our profile last week and realized I had never updated it from our beginnings. Just an oversight I never really thought about.

[shy_couple]

We had this happen recently where the couple contacted us. Their message said something like hi, we are new at this and wouls like to watch and be watched with another couple.

We were seriously looking for some fun that weekend and said here is our YIM for chat and opened some pics and asked for the same.

They said we cant see your pics because we are free and we only have this pic on the site (just her tits, which were nice) and they wouldnt give out anything else because they want to be discreet.

Thats when we took a closer look. They were free members, joined in 2006, and had no certs. we basically, but politely, told them they were full of crap. We saw there sign up date was over 4 years ago. Also if they read our profile we state that we will chat or email but will never agree to meet without pics. If this was their stand point, then good luck finding anyone. Then went on to block them.

Not sure if they were overcautious, liars, or a single guy trying to scam us. But we dont have much time to pursue our "hobby" and definately dont have time for BS.

[serenandsol]

Just changed this on our profile because of this thread! We registered a few years ago and then forgot about it when our second child was born. I noted that on our profile that we were gone but are still new. Is that okay?

[socolais]

Originally Posted by DigginIt

....but people who are actively in the lifestyle that don't update their profiles I think is the real gripe by Willing29.

I know we're guilty of that sin. Haven't updated the profile in over a year. We have found a group of folks we enjoy and are not really looking for "fresh meat". We use Swing Lifestyle mostly to communicate about the next party. Adjusting the profile is a low priority when things are going smoothly.

[divenaked]

We also use Swing Lifestyle to post about our next social in our tag line. Our situations have not changed otherwise, so we don't feel the need to "update". We do add new photos on a regular basis.