Looking for "real people"

We are registered members here but didn't want to post with our log-on.

We are a normal middle-age, middle-class couple with a couple of kids looking to spice things up when we get a chance. We live in Los Angeles. Like most middle-age,middle-class couples with children we have are carrying a few extra pounds. We get it, we live in a land where thin and fit rule. We are not for everyone and everyone is not for us. That is not what this rant and complaint session is about.

We are members of Swing Lifestyle. Our list of friends contains people who we have met and also people we would like to make contact with at some point. Also as we check out the site, we note pics, ages, location, and tag lines. This is why I am writing tonight. occasionally wwe see a couple of interest and their tag line will read something like "Any takers," "Where are the real couples," "Are there any real couples on here" or "Is everyone on here full of s--t?!"
These may be super hot or an average looking couple but the few that we have attempted to make contact with have never answered our initial email. Not answering email is a pet peeve of mine and it seems to be worse coming from a whiny bunch of titty babies. You think that they would be couteous enough to at least say "Thanks but no thanks." Not to mention that you are complaining that there is no one out there and when they have someone contact them they ignore it. Who do these people thin they are?!

[N8ture Girl]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

We are registered members here but didn't want to post with our log-on.

We are a normal middle-age, middle-class couple with a couple of kids looking to spice things up when we get a chance. We live in Los Angeles. Like most middle-age,middle-class couples with children we have are carrying a few extra pounds. We get it, we live in a land where thin and fit rule. We are not for everyone and everyone is not for us. That is not what this rant and complaint session is about.

We are members of Swing Lifestyle. Our list of friends contains people who we have met and also people we would like to make contact with at some point. Also as we check out the site, we note pics, ages, location, and tag lines. This is why I am writing tonight. occasionally wwe see a couple of interest and their tag line will read something like "Any takers," "Where are the real couples," "Are there any real couples on here" or "Is everyone on here full of s--t?!"
These may be super hot or an average looking couple but the few that we have attempted to make contact with have never answered our initial email. Not answering email is a pet peeve of mine and it seems to be worse coming from a whiny bunch of titty babies. You think that they would be couteous enough to at least say "Thanks but no thanks." Not to mention that you are complaining that there is no one out there and when they have someone contact them they ignore it. Who do these people thin they are?!

I too see those tag lines and would never contact someone with one that has those that were mentioned. It just smells of drama to me. I dont care how good looking or HWP they are I already dont like something about them. If there negative in their tag line then what else are they going to be negative about? Not worth it to me.

We get it, we live in a land where thin and fit rule.

And I must comment on this, it obviously means something to you or you wouldnt have mentioned it.
I woud have to dissagree with this statement. Actually in my opinion thin is becoming the minority, atleast the land I live on...
Flamers be gentle

[CXXC]

Originally Posted by N8ture Girl

I too see those tag lines and would never contact someone with one that has those that were mentioned. It just smells of drama to me. I dont care how good looking or HWP they are I already dont like something about them. If there negative in their tag line then what else are they going to be negative about? Not worth it to me.



And I must comment on this, it obviously means something to you or you wouldnt have mentioned it.
I woud have to dissagree with this statement. Actually in my opinion thin is becoming the minority, atleast the land I live on...
Flamers be gentle

I have to agree with you on both counts. The people who start with a negative tag line are generally that way through out! Not taking a chance on them!

The people we have met in the lifestyle are of varying shapes and sizes. In these past 2+ years, we have met very few "Poster perfect" bodies. Of the Ken and barbie types we have met, a handful have been as fun as the regular joes/jones we have encountered. The majority of the nation has a couple extra pounds. What I have determined is that if the personality is right, the extra pounds become invisible!

[DigginIt]

I see these all the time. What floors me is when there is only a single picture. That is what really makes me feel like they are fake accounts trying to attract real accounts. Maybe not, who knows but I do agree with N8ture Girl and CXXC.

We have been very fortunate to have met several very real couples and with the exception of one, all of them have been very sincere and all of them have become friends of ours. I know there are a lot of fakes but I also believe that there are a lot of great couples on the site if you are persistent.

As far as looks, and yes, I know you said that wasn't really part of the topic but since everyone has touched on it, lol... I think Mr. Diggs and I have average bodies. We have tried for the last 8 months to make ourselves more attractive because we too believe that attraction is first physical and second it's emotional. We also believe that the better we feel about ourselves, the better we will be when we are with other partners. Having said that, we are who we are and at the end of the day, if the person/couple we are going to have a night out with doesn't accept us for who we are then it's there loss because we are a SEXY couple in the sack... Roll past those people and keep on going. Life is too short to care about what others think.

Good luck and there are good people out there, don't give up the search.

[exploringRM]

I hang out in the Swing Lifestyle chat room and do see the same thing as the OP exclaims. People always complaining... can't meet real people, etc. I really have no reply other than...we have met many people from Swing Lifestyle. Either directly via online contacts or face to face and then had their Swing Lifestyle profile name.

I really don't mind not getting an email response. We have enough contacts with couples that not getting a response is no biggee. There are always more to contact, more people that WILL respond.

[PB&J]

Funnily enough, that is exactly what the tag line for the couple we just had all our drama with says... there ya go!

[Chicup]

The complaint here is that people don't respond to people they are not attracted to and yea thats pretty normal, no matter what their tag lines.

I think the 'Are anyone real' types, usually have unwarranted expectations as well in one direction or another.

[exploringRM]

Originally Posted by Chicup

The complaint here is that people don't respond to people they are not attracted to and yea thats pretty normal, no matter what their tag lines.

I think the 'Are anyone real' types, usually have unwarranted expectations as well in one direction or another.

Or their profile is so restrictive that it does not attract any takers.

[DigginIt]

Well, we always respond when someone writes us. We try to write at least two or three sentences because it's hard for people to take that step and put themselves out there and then wait for the possible rejection. That's just us though.

Most of those will respond with something usually like, thanks you very much for responding back to us, best of luck, etc.

I'd say that people responding back to us is 50/50 when we reach out to someone and 90/10 when we respond back to them with a thanks but no thanks.

[SecretAsianMan]

It's a common complaint that many people do not respond ... for whatever reason, who knows. (the only time I will not respond is if I get an email or "nudge" / "wink" or whatever on a profile at a site which requires a paid-account to read or reply to messages)


In regards to "real people" ... I think a LOT of us have run across profiles which never reply - fake "spam" mailer profiles - profiles which do nothing more than link us to other (paid) sites - etc., etc., etc. ...which leads us to think that a many of those ads/profiles aren't "real"

Or there are the smaller group of people who will do endless emails with people they find on a site - but never take that next step and meet up. Or they talk about meeting up and never show or flake out at the last minute. All of which can be horribly frustrating to people.

On the flip-side of things... I've seen one person who ran into a profile that specifically stated that they would refuse to be ignored and would start sending harassing emails to people who refused to repond to his emails/requests. (I think we can all agree that that's not good either!)

I wish the Original-Poster the best of luck ... try not to take it personally when your emails are not replied to. There are plenty of us "real" people (even in Los Angeles) out there and we do reply (even if we're not interested).

[shy_couple]

We see this as well. It wreaks of neediness. We went to a party several months back and met a couple like this there. We did not meet them through a profile or ad, just started talking to them there.

There was a good mix of people, younger,older, diverse ethnicity but they were complaining the whole time that tere were no good people there and nobody hot enough for them. They couldnt believe they spent $50 on this party, etc... Needless to say, we didnt spend much time with them.

Although we are not considered a HWP couple, we have had good experiences for the most part. At least not any really bad ones. We are a bit shy but we are very hot and sexy once we are comfortable enough to show you that side of ourselves.

Maybe these people are just living in a fantasy land where they think that swingers are like porn stars. Muscles, ripped abs, and dicks that never go soft for the guys and tans, silicone, and a pussy that is never dry or sore for the girls.

From our limited experience, there are very few of these people in the real world. But there are plenty of "real people" who know how to have a good time when there is attraction and chemistry.

[SoFlaCp]

Physical attraction is important, seeking perfection is a problem. I (guy) am not real tall and prefer petite women...but a taller or less than perfect woman with a great smile or great face...and great personality can be waaaay sexier than a "barbie". My wife wants a nice and sexy guy - perfection is not a requirement, attractiveness (through face, body, personality, writing, etc.) is a requirement. In each couple the factors blend differently for us.

My wife and I actually always look for smiles and relaxation/fun in the pics. If no one is smiling or having fun, we generally turn down or do not pursue. We do know what we like and it is broad range....but in the end we pursue couples for so many different reasons it would almost be hard to quantify.

To the OP - just be secure in who you are and have fun. As to returning emails...we always try to respond with a few lines. It is a courtesy we appreciate and hope to get the same courtesy in return...but do no expect. In fact, we just joined Swing Lifestyle and once the profile was up we were subject to the "new meat on the block" deluge of contacts. We spent the last 2 nights until 2 going through, responding and organizing. It is important to both of us that we behave as we would want others to treat us...we only "delete" the obnoxious ones (usually single males...) with a line like "hey baby, check out my...."

[DigginIt]

Hey, I have one here for everyone. We get an email. Nice couple but we tell them thanks for reaching out to us but our plates are full and we are currently not meeting other couples at the moment. Best of luck.

Two months later, they reach out to us again. We are still playing with the same couples. I politely thank them for reaching out to us again and tell them that our circumstances have not changed but we do really appreciate them reaching out to us.

They banned us.

Okay, I could have just said, thanks but no thanks and they might not have reached out to us again but I didn't want to say no because you never know what will happen in the future but I wanted them to know that we were just too busy.

Thoughts?

[exploringRM]

Regarding the I'm busy now sort of response, we've gotten that before and I usually assume it's a veiled no.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by DigginIt

Hey, I have one here for everyone. We get an email. Nice couple but we tell them thanks for reaching out to us but our plates are full and we are currently not meeting other couples at the moment. Best of luck.

Two months later, they reach out to us again. We are still playing with the same couples. I politely thank them for reaching out to us again and tell them that our circumstances have not changed but we do really appreciate them reaching out to us.

They banned us.

Okay, I could have just said, thanks but no thanks and they might not have reached out to us again but I didn't want to say no because you never know what will happen in the future but I wanted them to know that we were just too busy.

Thoughts?

Somewhere on this Board we've recently had the discussion about people using the "Block" feature as a way of simply reminding themselves not to contact the couple they are blocking again. I think making a note on the profile (assuming this is Swing Lifestyle) is a better and more appropriate way to do this, but I know some people use the Block feature this way. It's been done to us after sending a polite refusal.

As far as people being "real", it seems like "real" is partially in the eye of the beholder. Just because someone isn't interested in all takers doesn't mean they don't play. It is polite to respond to all emails, and we respond to all except very few. But to those few, we probably have appeared "fake". Or, to the occasional couple to whom we write "Thanks, but no thanks", we probably also appear fake.

To the OP: sorry you didn't feel comfortable posting under your registered ID. If you get bent out of shape when people don't reply to your emails, you're going to spend a lot of time being annoyed. I recommend writing off those who don't. It's not worth getting steamed up over.