"I really like BBWs"

[SW_PA_Couple]

Last month's theme at Swing Lifestyle was, "Hi, I'm married but my wife has given me permission." This month's theme is building to be, "Hi, I really like BBWs."

Gentlemen. Do you really think that this statement, particularly when delivered as part of an introductory message, is going to prompt a favorable response? It's patronizing. That, at least, is what JoAnn is telling me. My own interpretation is that no woman completely approves of what she sees in a mirror. It's not going to help you if you pick up a mirror and hold it in front of her and reminder her of what might be the one of the salient reasons that she sees herself as less than perfect. I'll bet that never once has a woman sent a message to a man and said, "I really like beer bellies."

Now climbing down from my soap box,

~Michael

[TheLorax]

I don't see it as patronizing at all. It's a subset of a particular type of attraction. For what it's worth, there ARE people who, for any of a number of different reasons, like women or men who are heavy. In the gay community it's called "bears".

[BamaRide]

To the contrary there are BBW's that are very in to their bodies and they especially appreciate a man that appreciates their form. I would have to say that that is more of a common attitude than otherwise.

Granted running blindly into the forest may not be wise in any situation so assessment of the lay of the land is often very helpful in preventing sticking your foot where it wasn't intended. As a rule if the BBW is talking up her curves and other aspects of her form then she's likely going to be intrigued by a man who can state that he likes what he sees.

Myself, I can't say that I like BBW's any more than the next body type. If what is between the ears is interesting to me the other stuff tends to come along just fine.

BamaRide

[Chicup]

I could see how its patronizing because women as a rule don't want to be singled out for a feature, be it big tits, or being a bbw, or being black etc.

I think its the same issue that interracial couples get another couple talks about how they always wanted to have sex with a black woman or the like, it always seems to be the woman who's upset in this situation.

I think its less of an issue for men, because we just like being liked for any reason period, and if the woman tells me its because she like pale geeks I'd be ok with it.

[bbarnsworth]

When we send a first time message to another couple or single, we just don't include comments about their physical appearance if they have photos on their profile. It seems a bit rude to us, and can be misinterpreted anyways.

[BamaRide]

Originally Posted by bbarnsworth

When we send a first time message to another couple or single, we just don't include comments about their physical appearance if they have photos on their profile. It seems a bit rude to us, and can be misinterpreted anyways.

Was this related to first contact? If it was I missed it! But I agree... initial contact messages I stay generic and if I'm making any physical reference it is about my side of the picture not the other.

BamaRide

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by BamaRide

Was this related to first contact? If it was I missed it! But I agree... initial contact messages I stay generic and if I'm making any physical reference it is about my side of the picture not the other.

BamaRide

Just that making any comment on a BBW's physical appearance and attraction for same would seem out of line to us on first contact message.

[UnicornChasers]

I don't see it any different than saying "Please no BBW's" You are stating what you want, nothing more nor less.

[BamaRide]

Originally Posted by UnicornChasers

I don't see it any different than saying "Please no BBW's" You are stating what you want, nothing more nor less.

Agree...in a profile but we are talking about when making contact with a bbw. Why would you say that if you were contacting a BBW? Wouldn't you just not contact them?

BamaRide

[SecretAsianMan]

So... are you asking if I find the BBW-thing discriminating or degrading?? ... O.o

Personally, I've seen it go both ways (and seen a lotta BBW's go both ways!) ... there's a whole sub-culture of BBW-Swingers here in Southern California (maybe it's the SoCal beach-community body-perfect culture that creates that) ... and there's lots of in-fighting even amongst the BBW's about exactly what it is their groups are about.

... some are just looking for a positive-community which doesn't make them feel horribly body-conscious

... others fight back by saying that they shouldn't be defined by ONLY their physical size & appearance

(Yes... the Fox series "More to Love" was quite the hot-topic of discussion for a while - one of the gals on the show was known by quite a few of the people in some of the groups)

Personally... I rather like a gal with a few curves on her frame. (Not "super-sized" ... and hopefully not so large that her health becomes endangered ... but nice with a few curves and soft jiggly bits)

I think a gal needs to look like a WOMAN ... not like a 12-year old boy.

...but that's just my personal preference. (*grins*)

[Rackir]

Originally Posted by SecretAsianMan

I think a gal needs to look like a WOMAN ... not like a 12-year old boy.

And you’d probably have more luck starting a letter with "I like BBW's" than you would with "I like women who look like little boys" anyways.

As for the OT, that would turn us off somewhat. My wife is very conscious about her weight. While she wants to be desired, if she felt she were being desired specifically FOR the thing that makes self conscious it would just serve to further her insecurities.

Now if someone were to put into a letter that they find her beautiful without mentioning the specifics as to why (if those specifics are her weight), that would be great. But to draw the attention to the weight right off strikes me as poor form. It would be like a woman writing saying she wants to meet with the guy because she really likes small dicks. Sure it be true and apropos, but it's still bad form.

[exploringRM]

Unless the profile specifically calls out the woman as a BBW I think receiving a letter saying one likes BBWs is not going to be accepted well. As one or more posters have stated, some women are comfortable with their size. Those not so comfortable would probably not want to be referred to as BBW, in my opinion.