When a couple's profile says "no limits" what does that mean?

[foozballnow]

Hey Everyone.

When you read someone's profile and it says something to the effect of "we are full swap and once we get to know you we have no limits". What do you take that to mean? It seems like that would be good because the couple has no drama or hang-ups, hopefully at least, but what about other things like oral, dp, safe sex? Do you assume those things or specifically ask?

[two4youinswva]

I wouldn't assume anything, even if they said "no limits". Almost everyone has limits of some kind or another, even when they don't think they do.

If you start a dialogue with the couple that appears to be promising, I'd ask them what they like, or consider unlimited.

[ncmd_couple]

Foozballnow,

Everyone has limits. What they are saying in their profile is that "after they get to know you," then the limits that the four of you have discussed are then well known to all four and they will play within those. Or at least that is the way that I would approach it.

S

[foozballnow]

so i should just basically say, hey thanks for the email. what exactly does no limits mean to you? do you practice safe sex? or is there a more subtle way to put it

[The Fuse]

I think it is always best to ask about specific things you are interested in. One of the quickest adjustments we made in the lifestyle was becoming comfortable talking about specific sexual preferences, rules, boundaries, things we are looking for, not looking for, etc. If you ask "what does no boundaries mean", you may get a vague answer. If you want to know if they'll go bareback, ask that question. If you want to know if she'll do anal, ask that question. If you want to know whether they'll want you to do those things... you get the idea.

Another reason to ask is that many people write things on their profile that they simply think sound good, without really knowing how other people interpret them. Further, lots of people don't update their profiles when something changes in what they're looking for. And... sometimes one half of a couple writes the profile without much input from the other half. For these reasons and many more, it's always best to ask, preferably during a four-way conversation.

Regarding subtlety, I would just say don't make those questions the first things out of your mouth . Express whatever interest you have in the couple based on what you've seen and read and heard so far. Then say you'd like to know more about....

[Rackir]

Gotta agree, everyone has limits. It may be that this couple views thier own limits as so far outside the norm that they are not worth mentioning, or it may be that they just havnt thought it through very well.

You might write them back saying you are interested in no limits play, but you need to know if you should bring your own ropes, chains, candles, blenders, midgets, preist and goat, or if they have all of those things on hand .

[Ed & Bunny]

My wife and I have no limits between us for sexual things. Does that mean if she bends over that I can just initiate anal sex? Not if I dont want my gonads kicked up around my neck. I am sure like all the rest of us here we ask our spouses if they are in the mood for whatever we are interested in at the time and then go with what they say. I would treat this couple the same way. If you would like anal with her just ask if she is in the mood for it. She will either say yes, no, never, or not today but maybe next time. This is alot easier than grilling them about what you can or cant do, and still keeps thing open.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by foozballnow

Hey Everyone.

When you read someone's profile and it says something to the effect of "we are full swap and once we get to know you we have no limits". What do you take that to mean? It seems like that would be good because the couple has no drama or hang-ups, hopefully at least, but what about other things like oral, dp, safe sex? Do you assume those things or specifically ask?

My first guess would be male bisexuality.
My second guess is just more basic kinkiness.

If they said 'once we get to know you we have no limits' I'd think differently but 'we are full swap and once you get to know us we have no limits' says that they are talking more than full swap.

Mind you I could be reading FAR more into it and they were just trying to convey a feeling of being willing to try new things.

[Sunswept]

Whenever I see people include that "no limits" thing, I can't help imagining how enthusiastic and joyful the expression on their faces will be when I wheel in my arc welder and pull out the jumper cables.

Seriously though, some people have no idea of what they really want.
As Yogi Berra once said, "You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by foozballnow

so i should just basically say, hey thanks for the email. what exactly does no limits mean to you? do you practice safe sex? or is there a more subtle way to put it

If safe sex is the concern you have about their limits then that's a fine way to put it. If you have other specific questions about things they may or may not be willing to do then just ask. It could mean just about anything from they will go bareback once they know you, to he's bi once they know you well enough.