No reply after a good encounter

[exploringRM]

(brings the Beatles song to mind...No Reply)

A recent post regarding not getting an email reply made me curious.

I don't mind not getting a reply on first time email contact. Plenty of people to get together with, though sometimes disappointed if we really like the couple's profile.

But how about when you don't get a reply after a seemingly good encounter with another couple? Or a couple for some reason just stops replying when there were no obvious reasons.

Here's an example. A couple contacted me (us) online asking if we want to meet that night. This was when we first started swinging, and had only been with one couple. So we met at a bar, got along well and they invited us back to their house. We had a pretty fun evening for our second experience. We had a good time, like the couple. I tried to setup a second meeting, but they were away for the holidays (or an excuse) but either way we did not meet at that point (nor again). A few weeks later I just sent a hello email, how are you, good new years? etc. I never received a reply. I don't have a problem with the couple not wanting to meet us again, that's the way things go, but not even a friendly hello back? I have seen them visit our profile since then as the site where we met has that feature.

Has this happened to you much? Did you ever send an email asking what was wrong? (perhaps a learning experience) Or did you just drop it and move on. We're not devastated by any of this, but did really enjoy the couple both socially and intimately.

[VegasLee]

We keep it simple and never even wonder why people don't answer on the Internet. That is how people have become.

No drama about it with us. Someone does not answer our email we just move on and enjoy life. Not worth the time and effort wondering about people in this world anymore.

[slevin]

Best to just drop it and move on, sending a note to ask whats wrong is not likely to get an honest answer if they actually were avoiding you. If you did get an honest answer it's only likely to offend/upset you anyway.

There are legitimate reasons that people may not reply as well. We have gotten a message from a couple that we liked their profiles/pictures (but hadn't met yet), but we were busy that week and figured we'd wait until next week to reply.....well come next week we were busy again and just flat out forgot all about it. A month or so later we realize that we'd forgotten to reply at all, so we sent a reply anyway. It happens, we've gotten replys much later than that as well. I have also seen an email, waited to reply until Katrina had seen the message then totally forgot to even point it out to her. I'm pretty bad that way and it sucks lol.

There are too many reasons it could have happened to even bother worrying about it. We try to just move on. Sometimes it's disappointing, but hey, there are plenty of great couples who do respond

[The Fuse]

slevin and Vegas Lee are both right. I am pretty careful about at least replying to everyone except people who write stupid one-liners or obviously canned messages, and even with that intention I sometimes have forgotten.

I know people "have just become that way", and try to brush it off. Still the same I was brought up to believe that people deserve courtesy in all situations unless they have shown they don't deserve it by doing something rude.

I think we are worse off for this trend. If we don't treat each other with the same respect we would like to have for ourselves, and if we think "no one deserves courtesy in the lifestyle", (wtf -- like the potential for sex suddenly makes us lesser people?), then we are hurting ourselves as well as others.

[LagniappeDC]

Everyone's personal situation is different. For us, with two busy jobs and two kids, sometimes we get behind in our emails -- though we try to answer all of them. Also, depending on what is going on it may be hard for us to arrange a date. Some take that as a sign we aren't interested -- but we make it clear in our profile that our lives are busy. So what we are trying to say is that you just don't really know what is going on with the other couple.

We think you did the right thing by following up after taking a short break. We often times send out an email if we haven't been in contact just to say hi, we've been busy, but if still interested give us a shout. If we don't hear back, no harm no foul, we just move on.

Lots of fun people out there, so keep trying!

[exploringRM]

Originally Posted by LagniappeDC

Everyone's personal situation is different. For us, with two busy jobs and two kids, sometimes we get behind in our emails -- though we try to answer all of them. Also, depending on what is going on it may be hard for us to arrange a date. Some take that as a sign we aren't interested -- but we make it clear in our profile that our lives are busy. So what we are trying to say is that you just don't really know what is going on with the other couple.

We think you did the right thing by following up after taking a short break. We often times send out an email if we haven't been in contact just to say hi, we've been busy, but if still interested give us a shout. If we don't hear back, no harm no foul, we just move on.

Lots of fun people out there, so keep trying!

I do typically send follow emails to couples that have contacted us, but we have not had a chance to arrange a time to meet. Just to say we are still interested. I think the busy aspect of peoples lives is a given in trying to meet. There's one couple that we had played with several times in December and have since been trying to catch up with them again. Just a number of tries, and then cancellations (death in family, sick, period).

In my original post though it was dealing with just general hello how are you sort of emails, not even trying to meet. Though the receiver may find it just easier to ignore the mails than to say not thanks we are not interested.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by exploringRM

(brings the Beatles song to mind...No Reply)

A recent post regarding not getting an email reply made me curious.

I don't mind not getting a reply on first time email contact. Plenty of people to get together with, though sometimes disappointed if we really like the couple's profile.

But how about when you don't get a reply after a seemingly good encounter with another couple? Or a couple for some reason just stops replying when there were no obvious reasons.

Here's an example. A couple contacted me (us) online asking if we want to meet that night. This was when we first started swinging, and had only been with one couple. So we met at a bar, got along well and they invited us back to their house. We had a pretty fun evening for our second experience. We had a good time, like the couple. I tried to setup a second meeting, but they were away for the holidays (or an excuse) but either way we did not meet at that point (nor again). A few weeks later I just sent a hello email, how are you, good new years? etc. I never received a reply. I don't have a problem with the couple not wanting to meet us again, that's the way things go, but not even a friendly hello back? I have seen them visit our profile since then as the site where we met has that feature.

Has this happened to you much? Did you ever send an email asking what was wrong? (perhaps a learning experience) Or did you just drop it and move on. We're not devastated by any of this, but did really enjoy the couple both socially and intimately.

Sometimes I think this is the norm more than the exception in swinging.

One time, I figured out the person is a dedicated picture collector. This was after we went from one FULL page responses to nothing after I told them (him) our private pictures were the same as our gold pictures on LL I just never deleted them. After that I got no responses (this is after 3 long emails he sent prior). He would sign up for 'going to' events and never showed up. I spoke to a few friends of ours and they all had identical issues. Being we had face shots and such its not like he saw our pictures and ran, he saw those first.

Another was a couple moving up here from Florida. Nice seeming friendly couple. Pictures were no problem, they met us (actually the wife, I couldn't make it, non-swinging event) no problem, sure lets all meet. Oh we are busy with X and Y, and then no response. Again I spoke to another couple we know in our area, they did exactly the same thing with them. Now I can understand if they didn't like us, but our friends there are more outgoing and quite attractive, so whatever.

As for good encounters, I think two seems to be the magic number. So thats rather hard to judge, but its like we play with a couple twice and then thats it. I could understand if it ended after one, but I'm not bad in bed, I know how to judge peoples reaction, everything seems to be good for everyone, and still, two.

My theory on this is the 'friend' issue. We are NOT friends after one or two times. We hardly know each other, we have done nothing but party and swing. We are strangers. After two it starts to become a regular friend thing and it gets awkward as you really are not friends. Rather than take the 'relationship' a step beyond, they move on.

[exploringRM]

Originally Posted by Chicup

As for good encounters, I think two seems to be the magic number. So thats rather hard to judge, but its like we play with a couple twice and then thats it. I could understand if it ended after one, but I'm not bad in bed, I know how to judge peoples reaction, everything seems to be good for everyone, and still, two.

My theory on this is the 'friend' issue. We are NOT friends after one or two times. We hardly know each other, we have done nothing but party and swing. We are strangers. After two it starts to become a regular friend thing and it gets awkward as you really are not friends. Rather than take the 'relationship' a step beyond, they move on.

I guess I'm drifting off the OP, but heck it was mine! I'm sure there's many variations of this and everyone has different experiences. We have friends where we get along well socially as well as playtime. And sometimes we see them socially with no playtime, so there's more to the relationship than just sex. We've seen some couples only once and some perhaps we'll see again, others we probably won't though all we still keep in touch here and there (except for the couple in my OP). Some couples we would probably be friends with regardless as if we never played and others we probably would not see outside of partying and playtime. And one couple that we have probably seen the most socially out of all of our LS friends and we've never had the opportunity to really play. Hoping it's worth the wait, lol. But we like them as friends; it's fun to have a couple where you can talk about your LS experiences as well as fantasies, etc. Can't really do that with vanilla friends.