How to answer with a polite "no" to mail in swinger sites?

[NYFunCpl]

I have to respond here...

I reach out to many couples b/c I like to see face pics which many dont have public. I am very particular about the male being the female half. So- my question is... since i am the one who pursues the couple, and sort of leads them on (unintentionally) and they open face pics...which 9:10 times (my husband would say 9.9 times out of 10, LOL) I don't like, I am not sure how to respond.

Right now, a couple are really really hounding us w/ IM's and emails, and I feel the need to reply and feel badly. Not sure WHAT to say or How to handle this?? Any advice?

[SoFlaCp]

My wife and I run into this fairly frequently too. I am particular on the face, and also want to see smiles. Regardless of 'body' - for me the face has to be there, and same with my wife. If we ask and get face pics back that we are not interested in...we usually respond with a "Upon further reflection, we have decided not to pursue this inquiry. We wish you the best...."

Keep it simple and we NEVER provide details on why we aren't interested. If the exchange has been nice and friendly, and they took the time to read our profiles - we may add that we think they are a very nice couple but we are not interested. We always respond unless they are rude and we always try to keep it friendly - after all you may run into them and they could be a great couple - just not one we/you want to play with.

[nllswing]

My wife and I got our fist rejection like this. A couple contacted us on AFF because we had them on our "hot list" and after exchanging face pics they told us "no thanks." It hurt because it was the first time (and for now the only) we have contacted someone, and we really liked them. We thanked them for the reply.

For reasons other than the Lifestyle we are not doing anything until the midsummer of 2010. I hope we will get a good first experience one day not too far from now.

[belgiumcoast]

Originally Posted by exploringRM

Mostly on topic...

We started swinging about a year ago. Early on a local couple contacted us, but they were older than our age range, and there were a few other things in their profile that we felt made us incompatible. I politely replied thank you but we were not interested in people that much older than us. I figured that was a simple fact.

Yesterday I received an email asking if they were still too old (with a smile).

I guess I'll reply again, but perhaps with a little more that we feel we are not compatible.

We once wrote a similar email, though not saying they where too old for us but 'we think age difference is too big'. (we're around 40, they were 65)

They replied with a long rant on that they're not old and if we would stop swinging at 60, blah blah... quite aggressive

I politely replied once more that the 'age' is not a problem but the 'age difference'. I told them we're looking for couples 10 years younger up to 10 years older (and we don't look at one or 2 years if there is a click), and that is clearly shown on our profile. And I also told them we probable won't stop swinging when we're 60 but our partners then will be between 50 and 70.

Never got a reply back...

[NYFunCpl]

Thanks for the responses! I like

"Upon further reflection, we have decided not to pursue this inquiry. We wish you the best...."

very much. We put new pics on our profile that everyone finds really sexy, so we are getting a lot of interest (very excited about that). But, since 99.9% of the face pics never seem to be attractive to me, I needed a good response. Thx!!