Inviting online couples to a meet and greet

[Speed & Trixie]

Speed and I have been talking to 2 couples and one "single" female online (she plays alone). I've met the female in person and like her, and would like Speed to meet her before she and I play. Like most people, our time is really limited, and we'd prefer to find out if there's chemistry with the couple/s sooner than later.

A local off-premise club is hosting a Cinco de Mayo meet & greet next week. We've never been to a M&G before, and look forward to the experience.

So, my question is: would it be a good idea to invite both couples and/or the woman to this meet and greet? This way, if we don't have chemistry with either couple, we all still have the chance to find another couple. Would this be considered rude or inconsiderate? (The woman is really cool, it's the couples we haven't met I'm more concerned about.)

Has anyone done this before? If so, how did it work out for you? I figure they can't hate us as long as we're upfront about our "plan" (after all, none of us is looking to "date" each other, right?). We appreciate your thoughts!

Trixie

[JustAskJulie]

I consider a M&G about the same as a social, the biggest difference is the name (and the location usually). If we start talking to a couple online that we haven't met yet, the most common thing for us to do is to let them know what upcoming socials/events/whatever we will be at and invite them to attend and meet us there.

In this case since you've met the single lady, I'd be more likely (since you've already met her) to invite her to meet you both for lunch or dinner somewhere. If she hasn't attended any M&Gs or socials with this group she may not feel very comfortable (depending on her personality) and may be more likely to attach herself to you at the M&G making it harder for you to get out and meet other people.

[slevin]

Never done it before; we've also never been to a meet and greet. We prefer to meet somewhere with the person/couple away from the distractions of a M&G or swingers club. That way we can focus on talking to each other, getting comfortable and deciding if we want to take it further or not. We're cool with things if they don't go further than a few drinks, but then again we don't have kids and get out whenever we feel like it so making sure we meet a couple we hit it off with on a night out isn't important.

[lookingfornow]

Many of us are also have very busy vanilla lives. But, initial meetings are really important. You never have an second opportunity to make a first impression. And, the decision that you will likely be making (play or not to play) is very important. So, for this reason...

We would not invite a couple to meet for the first time at a venue or event that we did not know and had not been to. If you pick the venue, it will be a reflection of you.

Now, if it is a venue you know, then meet and greets can be a great place to arrange for first meetings with couples. That being said...

We would not invite two new couples to meet with us for the first time at the same time. You inevitably will be unable to pay complete attention to both couples (and probably not to either couple). So much goes into the decisions to play together (particularly in a foursome). I think you want to be able to give the couple you are potentially interested in as much attention as possible to really get to know who they are and what they are about.

And then there is the distinct possibility that you will be interested in one and not the other. What do you do then, and how will that make the second couple feel?

Now, we have been in situations where someone we know has invited us to meet another couple (or multiple couples) who they know and who they think we will like (and vice versa). But this has always been with prior notice to all involved (and has generally been in a house party setting).

If you decide to press forward with such a plan, our advice is to be clear to both couples involved that you are arranging to meet another couple (and possibly a single female) at the same event. They can then decide whether they want to be on your busy dance card for that evening. More seasoned and adventuresome couples may be fine with this arrangement (so long as it is completely disclosed).

[JustMrJ]

As long as you are up front about who you are inviting to meet with both of you, I don't see how there could be a problem.

If one couple fails to show up, then you at least get to meet the other one and Speed gets to meet this single lady.

Cheers!

[The Fuse]

We usually prefer to meet two-on-two IF we think there is a strong possibility of a match. This is because we like to focus our attention on people we're interested in. But this is an ideal situation and doesn't happen that often.

We have lots of free time, but understand that other people don't. So we'd have no problem being invited to a meet and greet by a couple we thought we might like. We'd just be happy they invited us. Whether or not they said so, we'd assume they were also there to meet others, but it would be courteous to say so so that they don't think they are your "date". We'd actually like being invited to a M&G, because it would mean we could meet lots of people at once. But we're probably one of those more seasoned couples that lookingfornow mentioned. When we were first starting out, we might have been bummed that our new possible playmates didn't consider us worth a two-on-two meet. Now we are more relaxed about a lot of things, and that is one of them.

From our own perspective, we might invite people we're really excited about to a M&G, but we're more likely to prefer meeting two-on-two if it can be arranged, as I wrote above. On the flip side, if we're already planning to go to an event and the timing works out, we might just invite them to that, especially if they are very busy but free the night of the event.

The other possibility is that someone's contacted us, but we don't think the possibility of a match is that great. Then we'd invite them to the M&G so we don't spend the whole evening on a prospect we don't feel that great about. Sometimes when perfectly nice, but probably unexciting, people write to us, we tell them about the next event. Then we get to meet them, and they get to meet a lot of other people too.

[Speed & Trixie]

Thanks for your thoughts, everyone! Interesting mix of responses...

We have been to the venue before, but only twice, so we're not that familar with the location. I don't get the impression it's the single lady's "scene," and since I already like her I want Speed to meet her without the distractions.

I feel like one couple could be a good match, the other is more "meh" (and are also newbies). We're going to hold off on meeting the second couple for now, and will probably try to arrange a two-on-two meeting with the first. If we were a more experienced couple, we'd probably feel comfortable telling the first couple "these nights we're free, oh and we're going to this M&G at xyz too." Then it would be totally up to them.

Since it's our first meet and greet, I think maybe it's best if Speed and I go without having to look for/ entertain other couples. Then we can just relax and enjoy the evening. Thanks again!

Trixie