Your profile pictures don't do you justice!

[JustAskJulie]

Ok, if you are hearing this people you might want to consider taking a serious look at your profile and asking if it just might be true.

It amazes me the number of times we've ended up saying this to people. The social we went to this weekend really brought this issue to the forfront. We met more couples this weekend (that we actually could see ourselves being interested in) than we've met at any one social yet. The weird part was that when we went back this morning and looked at their profiles in almost every case it was a profile we'd passed on usually because of their pictures.

Couple 1: Emailed us before the party and after looking at their pics we knew we were on the fence. It could go either way and we knew it would dependon the personality. Taking a closer look at the actual profile we would have probably just said outright "no" if we hadn't already written and told them we'd be at this party and if they wanted to meet they could find us there. The turn-off in the actual profile? It was written like a 12 year old texts. Everything in lower case, with r instead of our or are, things like that.

We saw them when they came into the party and Pet told me he thought it was them and upon closer look I agreed. We ended up meeting them later and had a great time with both of them... and very much look forward to seeing them again.

Couple 2: She intrigued Pet and was very cute. We talked to them a bit at the party (not as much as we'd liked to have) and they gave us their card with their profile name on it. Neither the profile name nor the picture on the card rang any bells. However, when we looked at their profile this morning I realized why. It was one where when we'd viewed the pictures (and even viewing them again) the first reaction was not just no but "HELL NO". Yes, the pictures were that BAD. Now, after having met them I still look at the pics and try to figure it out... I think it's just a really bad angle on her, but the end result was just very NOT attractive.

Couple 3: Pet saw her and made a comment so I went and grabbed her and introduced them. She then returned the favor and I found that her hubby was the hottie I'd noticed not long before. Once we introduced ourselves they recognized our Swing Lifestyle name as they are on our dinner group but had not yet attended a dinner. We went back and looked at their profile and again the photos did not remotely represent them. Granted they have about 12,000 (maybe a slight exageration) private pics that we couldn't view. But, the two pics we could view were so distant and grainy you couldn't make them out and what you could make out made them look MUCH older than they do in person. Add to that their entire profile was maybe 4 lines long.

As we browsed the profiles this morning of those who were there last night, there were at least 2 other cases that were similar to couple 2.... had we not been told their usernames we would not have even known it was them AFTER meeting them!

So if people are saying to you "your profile pics don't do you justice", you might want to give some consideration to that... and maybe even get your swinger friends to help you pick out some pictures for your profile (or get them to take some new ones for you).

[dnmnms]

I have had a cpl ppl tell me that but the majority pf ppl we met do recognize us right off from out pics.
I absolutely hate making pictures. Maybe that comes off in the pics.
Course then you have the opposite end...Ppl whose pics look great then you meet them and they look nothing like the pictures they have up LOL. But you do make a good point.

Melody

[CXXC]

I would say that our biggest issue with the profiles rest in two catagories.

1. outdated photos. We do not base our plans on the photo alone. In fact, I would say that looks have little to do with the attraction for Mrs. CXXC and me. But when the photo on the profile is a few years younger than the individual, that strikes me as dishonest. Again, if you age well or not well, it does not matter at all to us. What matters is that you represent yourself truthfully.

2. Simplistic or non-informative profiles. COME ON!! when someone enters "SEX" as all they are looking for, they get passed over immediately. If the profile has more gramatical errors or misspellings or single letters to replace entire words, we think of the composer as lazy. Using too many "Hip" or "Slang" terms grates on my nerves a bit as well. I guess I am just being an English snob there.

We have not heard conflicting reports on our photos. I guess I picked the right ones.

[The Fuse]

Yeah, we recently spent a little quality time with a couple who looks so much better in person that I feel they've created an obstacle for themselves with their pictures.

We have also heard "your pictures don't do you justice" a few times. Hmmm... but only a few times. We've also heard our pictures are good. I hope we don't need to do something differently... we try to take flattering pictures, but we're not pros or anything. I think hearing "your pictures don't do you justice" twice or three time is kind of like occasionally hearing that I don't look my age. It doesn't happen often enough that I think there's anything to it.

How's this for being a busy-body? I have, more than once, taken snapshots of play partners (G-rated) for them to put on their profiles, especially when I feel they could use them (no pictures of the guy, or unflattering pictures of both). They seemed to appreciate it but who knows, I might just be a pushy person.

[exploringRM]

Though pictures are just a slice of a moment, first impressions do stick. I'm amazed at the lack of personality, a smile, a twinkle in some profile pictures. I find this especially present in the guy pics, dull lifeless looks, or just strange out of context pictures. We're probably missing out on great couples, but from an online search perspective, I usually pass these type of pictures by.

[JustMrJ]

dnmnms, CXXC and The Fuse... All of your pictures look very nice to us. My wife and I love the fact that you BOTH are represented in the pictures. (Although a few more and clearer pictures of Mr dnmnms would be nice.)

We also like the fact that CXXC and The Fuse have pictures up with BOTH of you together. We can see connections there that some people just can't seem to perceive.

We try to make sure that most of our pictures are representative of how we look now, even if they are a year or four old. We have one from our 2nd anniversary... but we really haven't changed much. We do have one from last October... we are in costume.

Should we take down the ones that are four years old... even if they do represent how we look now? Can anyone guess which one is the oldest?

I do hate when people post wedding photos (unless they are reciently wed) and super blurry/pixelated cell phone or web cam pictures. To us those do more harm than good.

[JustAskJulie]

The problem with pictures (and profile reviews) is the only way to know if a picture is a good representation of the people in it, is to have actually seen the people in person.

As great as you may look in your pictures you may (hopefully) look even better in person... or vice versa. I would say that if you look at your pics and don't feel that they are the absolute best/accurate represention of you... they probably aren't.

Me - I HOPE I look better in person... but I choose to post the pics that I feel are the best of what is available... and we try to remember to take new ones every time we head out to a club/party to give us more to work with.

[NotSorry]

So often I see people with such unflattering pictures and it almost makes me want to message them to tell them I am sure they are very cute but those angles and lighting are just not very flattering... I'm not sure that would be received so well

[shy_couple]

I agree with CXXC. Our biggest pet peeves are short profiles, "looking for sexy people for fun." or something vague or simplistic with no real information about who you are or what you are looking for.

The other is pics. Especially when there are no pictures of both people, them as a couple, or no pictures of the male half. I do know that everyone here is interested in seeing the female and most are sexy or have sexy qualities but for Mrs Shy the male half is the deal breaker. If he looks agressive or threatening in any way, she wants nothing to do with them.

We recently met a couple (thank goodness it was at the end of our evening for a coffee), just a casual meet without any expectations or even time to play. Their pics were probably 4 or 5 years old and their ages were were also 4 or 5 years older than stated. Not that there is anything wrong with their age range, as we generally get along better with people 5-10 years older than us. We chatted for a little over an hour and said our good nights politely. We heard from them a few days later saying that it was nice to meet and we responded similarly and let it drop. We recently heard from them again and gave a polite brush off.

We are really protective of our identities on our Swing Lifestyle profile, most of the images are of her, and our G rated pics of us as a couple have partially blacked out faces. Mrs Shy is a full figured girl and is not secure with her body image, so our pics do show her more flattering assets and downplay more negative ones. We also do not list her weight but state in our profile that she is a curvy size 16-18 girl. We know this, and the fact that we aren't willing to consider full swap, makes us not compatible with many in our area.

Our time is limited by career and family commitments and feel that everyone is looking for the same thing. Just be honest and dont waste our precious time.

[twoforone100]

We take pictures with a grain of salt........it is in person that matter the most to us.. that and Im chat's with them... Some people will like one pic and some will like another. We have never heard our don't do us justice..They are us.. and yes a lot of them... it can go either way..