Contacting free members

[olycouple]

So, we were contacted by a free member (who by the way has 5 certs) on SLS who gave us an "outside" email address and asked us to contact them there. We did contact them via this email and expressed our concerns about sending pics out over the non-protected internet. This couple sent us a response with "g" and "xxx" pics included.

I am a internet photo-phobe and a bit paranoid, I really like face to face meetings

Have any of you met couples this way? Does this sound out of the ordinary?
I may be under the wrong impression but I feel if you are out to meet people on a pay site you should pay
Thoughts, experiences, and even opinions welcome.

Mr. Oly

[Dynamar]

I'm on four different sites at this time... two where I got complimentary lifetime memberships for signing up during their beta phase, one I pay for and one (SLS) that I'm a free member on. I don't mind talking to or meeting free members on SLS... but I don't send pictures to free or trial members on any site, nor do I ask to see theirs if they have a private gallery. If we decide that the chemistry is right for a meet, then I go for it... if not, then... not. It's up to you to decide your comfort level here.

[jjtrindc]

Couple of thoughts. We are long time members of SLS and now paying members of a couple of other sites. Before joining we do like to test the waters using the free membership category to see if there are couples around us and get a sense of how "active" the site is in terms of couples that actually use the site regularly. The limited capabilities of sites for 'free' members make it tough so we have asked to chat with people/trade pics through our regular email. We would do the same with others who are free members but only on a short term basis.

As a quick aside on lifestyle sites, we are not fans of their email system at all. They can be very rudimentary. We find it hard to keep track of those we have corresponded with or the discussions we've had. I'd much rather do intro's via the site but quickly move the conversation to personal email and IM.

But we agree that a lot of time and investment goes into these sites so to join as a paying member not only is respectful of the owners, but is also an investment in the community itself to keep it vibrant. You wouldn't sneak into a swing club without paying admission would you?

To your bigger point, whether we are sending via email, or posting on a lifestyle site, the only pics we post are g or r rated. That way we have no real concerns about the pics being out of our control. There is nothing out there we would be embarrassed if our boss came across them (though there might be some explaining to do, lol).

Beyond that, we like the art of the tease. Why show everything up front? If we like you, then relax, you'll get to see (and taste) the goods.

[realcplub2]

Ok, lets take a REALITY check for a sec..

We are in the SHANK of September, the ROBUST economy has gone BUST..

Personally, we are paying members on a few sites, and in all honesty, we ARENT renewing on more than a few for two reasons..

the $5 gas thats in the pipeline right now.. possibly headed for $6

and in all honesty, in as much as SWINGTOWN, and other TV programs have shined a positive spolight on the lifestyle, we are also seeing a number of people playing the "fantasy league" version of swinging.. Talk a great game but when the rubber meets the road.. they flake out

So, we are reverting to free members, with the new tag line, SEE WHAT YOU LIKE WRITE US..

[2insandiego4u]

Most (but not all) of the flakes we've run into have been free members on various sites. We always proceed with caution when dealing with free members on any site, especially if they are not "certified" or do not have any "testimonials" from paying members.

[TropicalCpl]

I'm paranoid too - about being 'found out'. We have a paid membership on SLS and at times we have gone so far as to block the free members from even seeing our profile. I figure if someone is going to "look" for us on swinger sites - they'd be a free profile - and therefore I've blocked them.

Right now our profile is not blocked, but it depends on things going on in our personal life - we could block our profile again easily.

Which I guess simply means that so far we have never met a couple from SLS that was a free membership - and we have met quite a few couples from SLS over the years.

Mrs. Tropical

[good times]

We never send free pictures to people we don't know personally via email. Free members on SLS can see our public pictures, if that isn't adequate to allow them to agree to a meet in person, we would pass.

[olycouple]

What can a free member see? For example can they see your private pics if you give them access? We never explored what free members could do so I do know what limitations are placed upon them.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by olycouple

What can a free member see? For example can they see your private pics if you give them access? We never explored what free members could do so I do know what limitations are placed upon them.

I know a little about this part We were scared shitless in the beginning and we were free for a couple years. As free members they do get to see your default picture. It disappears though when you are looking at their profile and put the cursor over the big picture sometimes. We sat there a few times together, saying "Damn it, go back honey. Don't touch nothing" Then we would Stare.... and look at each other... and Stare some more, until one of us would say "What do you think ? " Then we compared ourselves to them . I know thats wrong. But,.... we did. We have come along way since then but I know we couldn't have been the only ones doing that. Well, I hope so any how . We hated the "Only viewable to paid members message" .

Your private pictures never appear unless you grant access to paid members. Free members cant see them either way even if you give access. Actually, to see what our private pics looked like to others. We had to look at our own profile from the who's on feature, and grant ourselves permission to see our own private pictures. They also don't see any picture you attach with the mails you send. It shows up that this member has attached a picture but is only accessible to paid members due to bandwidth.

You could create a free account and check yourself out. We still have our old free account I think ? Ill check.... Nope, its gone ? Ill check with Mrs fun in a bit and see if she deleted it, when she created our new lifetime account. Surely she did, I see people who haven't been on... in like 500 days sometimes.

Anyways, sorry if I'm getting windy. I'm home and Mrs fun isn't feeling well she is still sleeping But as free members, you only get to send and receive 5 mails per 24 hours, and view 15 profiles in that 24 hr. period. And it dont take long to burn through that many. Sometimes we just kept hitting the back button. Hence, the lets hurry to yahoo IM's.. Free Single females can mail others and receive. But I believe its limited, we see more and more with their IM addresses in their profiles. The single females we know personally, are paid. Single Free males cant contact anyone as far as I know. They can only receive mail.

There again the free part is why we think we see so many attempts from single males posing as a couple. And honestly, we see more couples profiles with the female half creating a single female account, then reverting back to a couple in that profile.... We just don't ask. Most mails go unread anyhow according to our (sent mail log) their just marked, unread/un replied.

I will have to say as free members we did quite well meeting others. Once we added our pictures.

Hope my long winded thoughts help.....

[realcplub2]

As far as worrying over what free members can see.. Just edit it so, they get a basic idea, and if they are truly that interested.. share only after chatting with them..

We get email from paying members as well as free, asking to see our pics.. Run of thumb, anyone asking beyond 100 miles.. we ask WHY?

We state plainly in all our profiles we arent looking for one nighters.. We arent here to entertain tourists, and while we would love to be able to get an email, drop EVERYTHING and grab the overnight play bag, head out the door with a smile on the face and Woo HOO!! in the minds.. thats not the case

We have large factors that influence play, and our search for potential playmates.. Factors like:

Family- kids first, everyone else second..
Employment - How are you gonna pay bills, put food on the table, and afford a NICE hotel room to play in without it?

the just us league- ya know what I am talking about.. if you cant find TIME for the JUST US time, then what the hell are you doing heading out the door to screw around with others.. TAKE CARE OF YOUR HOMEWORK FIRST

[graygo98]

Right now we are a free (standard) member on AFF because we always take a break during the summer.... out of town every weekend during cottage season. So, not all free members are fakes and flakes.

As a general rule we never send pics out until we think that we want to meet. Our posted pics should be enough to start a conversation to see if there is a connection. We generally then will send full face/full body g rated. Sure you could figure out who we are from them, but we do a bit of risk management in the screening and have never had a problem. And we never send out or post identifiable R or X pics... no faces, blurred, etc.

The real reason that I wanted to post here, though, was to respond the the notion in the OP that using a site is somehow safer than the "non-protected" internet. Assume no picture is secure on the net, whether its on SLS or Yahoo. I can rip pics from SLS or any other site I have seen in about two seconds. Its not that hard. Your best protection is your own common sense.

[Pepper & Drew]

We're free members right now, and have been for some time. We don't typically meet people online anymore, so pretty much the only reason why we still have an SLS profile is because it's easy to stay in touch with our friends that way, and a good way to get in touch with people we meet at socials. Oh, and then you find out what local parties are going on. It's not a priority for us to pay for a membership basically to have an email account (albeit on a swinger site), so we're free.

Not all freebies are newbies or fakes. They may just be stingy, like us.

Pepper

[Farcanal]

There is a copyright issue here too. All of us own the copyright and Intellectual Rights (not the same thing) to ourselves and our images.

That is why models have to sign off a full Model Release.

The answer is to ALWAYS brand your pics and then they can be traced. If you're paranoid (bit of paranoia is okay on the net) make sure that no-one can identify you from those pics.

There are many pic viewers that will brand a pic for you -- some are free like Irfanview and it also sets the info into the EXIF data of the image file too.

[MrkLin]

We've been lifetime members of SLS since '04, and to be honest, I don't pay attention to whether or not someone is a free or paid member. I do notice if they're a lifetime or VIP members, but only because it's kind of hard to miss. If we like their profile, we'll message them. If we don't, we move to the next profile. I will say, however, that we both tend to pass up profiles with no pictures at all, or all of the pictures are private - why bother? We'd like to know if there's at least a little bit of attraction before we message someone.

If we message someone through SLS, we'll attach a pic from our private pictures that's usually a bit more revealing than our public pictures, but still not enough for either of us to be identified. We insist on meeting new couples in a neutral public place for coffee or drinks, just to give everyone a chance to get to know one another, and make sure we're all compatible. If not, we met some new people and had a good chat. If there's a connection there, we can arrange things further.

I printed up some business cards with our first names, our e-mail address, and our SLS profile address on them, and I pass these out to people we wish to have this info. It sure beats trying to find a pencil & paper...

Only after we've met and everyone is agreeable do we move on to opening private pictures, chatting on Yahoo Messenger, or the like. I've found that it cuts way down on the messages we get from non-lifestyle married men out looking for a little on the side...

[TravlParty]

After the first two years, we stopped paying for multiple sites. The reality is that we met more compatible couples at clubs or parties. It was just too frustrating weeding through the fakes and trying to match up schedules.

So, while we may be non-paying (free) members on one site, we're lifetime members on another.

As far as pictures go, unless you're using branding like Farcanal mentions, don't share anything that you wouldn't want your mom to see is my motto. I guarantee you they will get shared - that's what picture collectors do.

If a couple's profile interests us, we ask for a meeting in the near future. We share a g-rated pic and if that's not enough for them to schedule a meet, we move along.